Turn-based Combat
March 5th, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: SHAMWOW!
You: IMA DINOSAUR!
You: MRAA
You: SOAK ME UP!
Stranger: SHAMWOW ATTACKS DINOSAUR, +693 DAMAGE!
You: DINOSAUR SUMMONS PIZZA DEMON +700 DAMAGE
Stranger: SHAMWOW uses ABSORBANCY SHIELD! +300 DEFENSE
Stranger: SHAMWOW unleashes GUSH OF STORED WATER! SHAMWOW MISSES!
You: DINOSAUR USES FLASH GRENADE -400 HISTORICAL ACCURACY!
You: DINOSAUR GNAWS ON SHAMWOW
You: CRITICAL HIT!
Stranger: SHAMWOW sells itself to PTERODACTYL ALLY! -$19.95!
Stranger: SHAMWOW is hurt!
You: DINOSAUR USES HEALTH POTION
Stranger: SHAMWOW absorbs HEALING POTION!
Stranger: SHAMWOW uses DIPLOMATIC TRAINING!
Stranger: DINOSAUR is CONFUSED!
You: DINOSAUR ATTEMPT TO SLAP WITH TINY RAPTOR ARMS
You: DINOSAUR MISSES
Stranger: SHAMWOW punches with 200% of its own weight in BITCHSLAP FIGHT with DINOSAUR
You: DINOSAUR SHOOTS DRAIN CLEANER AT SHAMWOW WITH ONE SECOND PLUMBER!
Stranger: DIRECT HIT!
Stranger: SHAMWOW FAINTED!
Stranger: TRAINER sends out SLAPCHOP!
You: DINOSAUR RUNS IN FEAR
You: TRAINOR SENDS OUT
You: KOOL AID MAK
You: MAN*
Stranger: OOOOHHHHH YEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
You: KOOL AID MAN DRENCHES SLAPCHOP IN GRAPE FLAVOURED KOOL AID
Stranger: SLAPCHOP uses SLICE N’ DICE ACTION!
You: CRITICAL HIT!
You: KOOL AID MAN FAINTED
You: TRAINER SENDS OUT BILLY MAYS’ GHOST
You: WAHA
Stranger: SLAPCHOP FAINTED from SHOCK!
You: BILLY MAYS DOES VICTORY DANCE
You: AND THROWS A JUPITER JACK AT THE SLAPCHOP
Stranger: TRAINER: “I knew this day would come, BILLY MAYS…”
Stranger: TRAINER: “For you see, I’ve known you for a long time…”
Stranger: TRAINER: “I am your sworn enemy, VINCE!”
You: TRAINER: “This battle is not yet over! For I have a secret weapon!”
You: TRAINER: “A VULNERABLE PROSTITUTE!”
You: TRAINER: “TEMPTING ISN’T IT?”
Stranger: TRAINER: “AGH! Damn you, BILLY MAYS!”
Stranger: TRAINER: “Can’t…resist…”
Stranger: VULTERNABLE PROSTITUTE turns out to be OXI CLEAN!
You: BILLY MAYS is SHOCKED!
Stranger: VINCE is out of useable PRODUCTS!
Stranger: VINCE whited out!
You: TRAINER: “Haha, I knew this day would come”
Stranger: TRAINER (on floor, gasping for air): “I…will have…my REVENGE…someday…”
Stranger: TRAINER: “When you least expect it…BILLY MAYS’ GHOST!”
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Submitted by Josh from Canada
(50 votes, score: 4.64)
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So….Full….of….Win….
*dies of win-overload*