The Principal
December 8th, 2009
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: i’ve been a very naughty young lady, how are you going to punish me principal
You: Principal?
You: No. I am your father.
Stranger: oh =[
You: Is this how I raised you?
Stranger: im sorry
Stranger: =[
You: You should be sorry.
You: I can't believe my daughter is going around like some Internet floozy.
You: This is going to give me another heart attack, do you realize that?
Stranger: im fucking sorry
You: Well maybe sorry's not enough. Go to your room, we'll talk about this after I calm your grandmother down.
Stranger: i won't go to my room
You: (It's OK Mom, she's just going through a phase) WHAT DID YOU SAY YOUNG LADY
Stranger: ok im going up
You: (I can't believe that girl, she gets it all from her mother you know)
Stranger: (cries)
You: (goes upstairs)
Stranger: (cries)
You: Look, I understand what you're doing here. Things haven't been the same since... but you need to find more productive ways to vent your feeling.
Stranger: ok im sorry so no punishment this time
Stranger: =]
You: Oh, you know I can’t stay mad at you.
Stranger: yay! no punishment
You: That’s what you think! But little do you know, I’m not really your father…
You: (takes off mask)
You: I WAS THE PRINCIPAL ALL ALONG!
You: Now let’s talk about your behavior in class today.
Stranger: =[
You: It was appalling.
Stranger: i know =[
You: You see, I try to set certain standards for the students at this institution.
Stranger: yes
You: And when a student fails to live up to those standards, it reflects poorly not just on that student, but on me as well.
Stranger: =[ (cries)
You: So I can’t let infractions like this go unnoticed.
Stranger: please just once
You: Or at least, I couldn’t, if I were your principal.
You: (takes off mask)
Stranger: =[
You: But I’m actually your doctor!
You: Please take a seat for this.
You: We have the results of your pregnancy test…
Stranger: yes
You: You’re carrying twins.
You: From two different fathers.
You: And one of them is me.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Submitted by Kevin from Canada
(190 votes, score: 4.62)
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LOLOL!! This is hilarious!
You, Kevin, are insane :)
I LOLED SO HARD!!! Great job man!
That was hilarious!
wowwww lol
omg that was so funny :’)
Bahahahahaha fucking-lmao!
This is hilarious [Takes off mask]
Whoever you are, you have a great imagination XD
Dude!!! That was amazing, hard lol on that
I love you.
god i lol’d
Kevin = awesome
I lol’d so hard at the 2 last lines XD. Kevin your awesome!
hahaha, you’re awesome!
the last sentence was awesome!
HAHAHA