The Machine
September 16th, 2009
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here!
Stranger: Yo, there old chap. How’s it rolling?
You: Oh, fine, thank you, sir.
You: What can I do for you, sir?
Stranger: Well, what would you want to do? I mean surely we can have a nice conversation?
You: Certainly, sir. And by the way we are working on your last inquiry, sir.
You: Everything is under control.
Stranger: Eeexcellent
You: Yes, the robots are being installed with lasers right now, sir.
You: About 60% of the work is done, sir.
You: We expect the hovercrafts to be complete by the end of the moth, sir.
Stranger: End of month!!!?
Stranger: I said they hade to be ready in a week!
Stranger: You fools
You: I am sorry, sir. We had some incidents.
Stranger: And what was that?
You: The new engines were not throughly tested. Test team D died in flight due to malfunction.
Stranger: Nah, they were incompetent anway
Stranger: just send their families these lunch tickets
You: Certainly, sir! Will do right away, sir!
Stranger: Eeexcellent
You: The Agency will cover the expences, sir. So the price will not change.
You: We are willing to give you a 10% discount on next purchases, sir.
Stranger: Price doesn’t matter. Nothing will after device is activated.
Stranger: But I’m growing old od waiting
Stranger: How about we put it on for a test?
You: Let me check the calendar, sir.
You: Next monday, sir?
Stranger: I want it actiaveted riht now you buffoon! I’ll pay you ten times your month salary.
You: I undertsand your frustration, sir. I just received a message that we are willing to give you a 20% discount in future purchases
Stranger: I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE FUTURE. I JUST WANT THE DEVICE TO BE ACTIVATED.
Stranger: Where is that damn switch?
You: You, sir, are one of our dearest customers, but to the nature of our business we are unable to perform such requests so soon.
You: My management will contact you shortly with the new catalogues and doscount information, sir.
You: Let me remind you that the incident only affected the hovercrafts, not other purchases.
Stranger: Where do I activate the A.I. circuit?
Stranger: It’s this button right here, isn’t it?
You: The instructions will be inside the box, or they can be downloaded from our website, sir.
You: I am affraid, your contract didn’t cover support, sir.
Stranger: So..first I turn this keey….
Stranger: and then I press this button, right?
Stranger: You: Eeexcellent
Stranger: You; What is going on?
You: We are offering and extensive support via phone by our professionals at our regular price, sir.
Stranger: You: Do I need to press it again?
You: Would you like to extend your existing contract?
Stranger: You: You: What is this?
Stranger: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: OH MY LORD
You: Did the program go into the loop?
Stranger: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: It’s sucking me in
You: In that case, I suggest you run, sir!
Stranger: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: You: THIS CANCELS THE PROGRAM, RIGHT?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Submitted by George B. from USA
(76 votes, score: 4.57)
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JSP ftw
Applause for you, SIR.
not bad, indeed