The Illusive Organisation
February 5th, 2011
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: I am a stranger, and I represent Omegle.
Stranger: What is the password?
You: There is no password, you have to dance around in your nearest store with a turkey on your head. That is step one. Step two is living in a pig-sty for a year and 35 days. Step three is to grow wings and fly to the moon. Only then will you have the power I have.
Stranger: That is very close, but you are missing one important thing.
Stranger: The password.
You: I’m afraid I cannot help you. You must pass the tests first, beginning tomorrow. I’d just like to say good luck, we’re all counting on you. Also, the password is in a ziploc bag on the dark side of the moon, heavily guarded. Just a heads up.
Stranger: Until you utter the password, you shall not pass this point.
Stranger: Now be gone.
You: I can pass this point! Just give me a chance! I am merely a helpful soul, wishing you the best on your Omegle password endeavour. The password is ●●●●●●●●●
You: I wrote it.
You: The elders have scorned me.
Stranger: You speak much nonsense, but I do not believe that you know the password. How did you make it the the entrance of our secret organization without knowing the password?
You: I am deeply ashamed to say that I flashed them. Your guards are very easily distracted. And I DO know the password!
Stranger: If you do in fact know the password, then why did you need to flash my guards?
You: Good question. I needed to prove that I can be trusted with the knowledge of the password; therefore I felt it would be a good way to prove my worth by simply flashing your guards, instead of telling them the password. You never know who to trust these days! People lie. Your guards could have been double agents.
Stranger: Good thinking. However, now you must utter the password, or you shall not pass.
You: I am a respectable young woman, that is true. Wait. I will tell you the password once I’ve adjusted my bra. OH NO, it’s broken. Help me fix it please. :’)
Stranger: No problem ma’am, here let me hold these for y- WAIT a second.. Your tricks won’t work on me. No one passes this point without uttering the password.
You: Dammit! I can’t keep living such a lie, I don’t know the password, only how to use my sexuality to my advantage! It has never failed me before. My life is a facsimile of a shambles.
You: Touche. :(
Stranger: Well why do you want to enter our organization, anyway? I’m sure you live a perfectly full life, using your womanly guiles to seduce your way into places of power. You shouldn’t give it up merely because it has failed you now . Just go back to what you know.
You: I’m finding life to be banal at the moment! And yes, flashing people to get what I want is a perfectly self-respecting and moralising way of getting what I want, but what about in 56 years time, when I’m an old lady.. How will it work then?! I heard your organization holds the key to immortality. I would like that.
Stranger: Whether or not these rumors of immortality are true are not for me to say. All I can tell you is that if I want to keep my job, I can’t let you in. It’s a shame too, you seem like a perfect fit for our organization. Also, I wouldn’t worry about a lack of manipulative leverage when you become old and saggy. All the elderly ladies that I know get whatever they want. Being old is easy, why would you want to be young forever?
You: I can only hope that someday I will successfully manipulate my way into your company. I would be! I really would; this is regrettable for all involved. They get free bus passes, I have to pay 45 pound a month for mine. Maybe there is a light, a silver lining. I appreciate your making me realise this.
Stranger: I’m glad I could be of personal assistance, even if I could not help you professionally. Now I’m afraid I must ask you to leave.
You: Thank you, and all the best. Good day to you sir.
You have disconnected.
Submitted by Anna from England
(21 votes, score: 4.71)
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