You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: 3. 2. 1. LIFTOFF. Ground control this is Captain Boner, reaching altitude of 2400 Kilometers. Safe to reach atmosphere at 100 nautical miles.
You: Sir, please buckle your safety belt.
You: Press the red button, if you will, sir.
You: Now take the wheel, I have a major deuce I need to release.
You: I will be 5 minutes.
You: You are quite the aviator.
Stranger: great job to you too captain
You: Alright, press the green button followed by the orange button and we shall begin descent upon Saturn.
You: A little bumpy, but safe nonetheless.
You: Now, let’s collect some dust.
You: Don’t flirt with the Saturn women.
Stranger: but they’re so beautiful
You: You are here for one thing, dust.
You: Do you see the McDonalds over on the other side?
You: What would you like?
You: *Two Big Mac’s please*
You: Sit down at this booth, ESPN is on.
You: Oh dear, a Saturn woman has walked in. Do NOT talk to her.
You: Good, she walked past us.
You: Would you like to drive home?
Stranger: yeah that’d be awesome
You: I will set the flight path
You: All you have to do is steer
You: Engine active, shield active, thrusters warming up.
Stranger: is it hard to get past the asteroid belt?
You: Alright, press the blue button and we’re ready to go.
Stranger: okay blue button pressed
You: Alright, steer us gently now.
You: Follow the flight path on the GPS
You: We will need to orbit around Earth a few times to approximate location.
You: Now then, entering Earth’s orbit
You: Press the Brown button if you would
You: Alright entering the atmosphere
You: Approaching the location
You: Alright lift up on the wheel slightly
You: Now press the wheel activator up above you
You: and the brakes below
You: Then, I’ll open the wheel dock.
You: Alright, slow us down some more and follow the landing strip.
Stranger: you’ve trained me well, captain boner
You: Congratulations son, You flew us home.
You: A job well done, I look forward to our next mission together.
You: Son, why did you bring a Saturn woman home?
Stranger: im sorry…i couldnt resist
You: Stand and wave to the media
You: Great work. Now let’s take the dust to Proffesser Vagina.
Stranger: sounds like a plan
You: *several hours of examining later*
You: Yes, Prof. Vagina has concluded, Saturn is indeed a planet.
You: Goodbye son, try not to get into too much trouble.
Stranger: i see it didnt suffer the same fate as its buddy pluto
(89 votes, score: 4.63)
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(45 votes, score: 3.91)