How to Beat a Man Dressed In a Chicken Suit

March 2nd, 2010
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: A man dressed in a chicken costume is approaching in great haste, you have four items at your disposal; a rake, a large can of corn, a poster of chuck norris and an old russian coin
You: what will you do?
Stranger: show the poster
You: the chicken man stops in his tracks, mesmerized by the amazing chuck norris
Stranger: how about you?
You: you soon notice that the lure of the Chuck is loosing it’s grip on the chicken man
You: you must take action
Stranger: corn@
You: what will you do with the corn?
Stranger: show him
Stranger: and then throw it away from me
Stranger: so he chases it?
You: the chicken man looks at the corn, then looks at you, then starts picking at the corn, realising you forgot to open the can
Stranger: great
You: the man in the chicken suit is now enraged by the lack of corn
Stranger: then id throw the coin to him
You: you see white foam forming around his beak
You: the coin does nothing
Stranger: fuck
You: the chicken man is now very very close
Stranger: i point the rake forward
You: the chicken man takes the rake, and starts raking the leaves around him, because you are in the forest and it is falltime
Stranger: lawl
You: he does this until he dies
You: you have beat the chicken man
You: congratulations
Stranger: yay
Stranger: ty
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Chicken from Denmark

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (12 votes, score: 3.83)
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Kidnapping Jesus

March 2nd, 2010
1 comment
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Is Jesus in our life?
You: no
You: i dont htink so
You: i hope he is in yours
Stranger: My Life? He’s in my basement, chained to the radiator.
You: really?
You: where did u catch him?
Stranger: Yeah. I found him.
You: wait..is that your dog?
Stranger: He used to complain more but he just turns the other cheek now.
Stranger: Sorry, he’s the only son of God. He came back and lo and behold i was the first person he met.
Stranger: Mores the pity.
You: poor fella
You: bumped into you…cudnt control his own destiny eh?
Stranger: No. His powers are greatly exaggerated.
You: ah ha…cud he do any of the magic tricks?
Stranger: He tried to do th water into wine. Turns out it was Ribena.
You: lmao…..
You: so did he say why was he back?
Stranger: Apparently his Dad kicked him out. Told him to get a job.
Stranger: Now he works for me.
You: wht do u make him work on?
Stranger: He keeps up the morale of all my other basement captives.
You: oh…u have other captives?
Stranger: Stephen Hawking, Ben Affleck and Rhea Perlman from Cheers. Among others.
You: stephen hawking…oh why…he’s so ill
Stranger: But he’s not exactly going to escape is he?
You: how wud he escape…poor man can only use 2 fingers
You: btw…how does he wipe his ass?
Stranger: Infrequently judging by the smell and complaints. Jesus doesn’t mind helping.
Stranger: He’s always talking about turning the other cheek.
You: whats so special abt the other cheek anyways?
Stranger: If you don’t know i’m not telling you?
Stranger: Where can i buy Lime?
You: dunno…asking hawking maybe…he’s the bright guy arnd here
Stranger: Batteries ran out two months ago. He doesn’t say much.
You: ah…
You: are u by any means..related to Jigsaw?
Stranger: The wrestler?
Stranger: !!!!!
You: naah
Stranger: ?
You: Jigsaw from the SAW movies
Stranger: ;0
Stranger: :1
You: this conversation is gonna be uploaded on omegleconversations.com :)
Stranger: How does one do that?
You: once we disconnect i’ll save the log n upload
Stranger: Don’t mention that I live in Croydon then.
Stranger: Bakersfield Road.
Stranger: Don’t mention that.
You: yeah…sure…now that u have mentioned it
You: peace out bro
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Ankur from India

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (14 votes, score: 3.64)
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Free Shit?

March 2nd, 2010
1 comment
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hello
You: hey
Stranger: You like free shit?
You: wtf?!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Stefan from Austria

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (9 votes, score: 2.33)
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Not That Kind of Fun

March 2nd, 2010
No comments
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Horny male looking for fun ;)
You: want to help me with my anthropology homework?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Anna from Canada

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (32 votes, score: 4.69)
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Naked Hands

March 2nd, 2010
1 comment
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Dear Stranger, be my friend.
Stranger: NO
Stranger: didnt like you
You: Then we will fight to the death!
Stranger: ok
You: Pick your weapon
Stranger: i dont use weapon[
Stranger: i will kill you with my naked hands
You: Naked hands!?! Well I just put a nuke in your pants.
You: Boom.
Stranger: OK
Stranger: you won
Stranger: bye
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Yvonne from USA

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (12 votes, score: 4.50)
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Everybody Loves Chuch Norris

March 2nd, 2010
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: chuck norris is gonna rape you in your sleep
Stranger: yes i want this …
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Brody from Canada

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (12 votes, score: 4.58)
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Figment of My Imagination

March 2nd, 2010
No comments
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: asl?
Stranger: -50/asexual/your mind
You: -50? so are you your mom?
Stranger: No, i’ll be born in 50 years
You: so you some type of spaceman?
You: how’d you manage to do that
Stranger: I’m in your mind.
Stranger: You’re creating what I type.
You: what am i thinking about now?
Stranger: You’re thinking about cottage cheese.
You: OMG I’ve always wanted to talk to myself
You: do you think i should’ve slapped stacey for being a bitch today?
Stranger: Well i’m not really you.
Stranger: I’m just a thing you invented.
Stranger: probably out of boredom
You: well you’re in my mind, so by talking to you, i’m talking to myself right?
Stranger: i’m more or less another version of yourself
Stranger: but treated as separate
Stranger: like that movie A Beautiful Mind
You: which makes you… gay?
You: its cool though, i’m not homophobic or anything
Stranger: I don’t think figments of imaginations can have a sexual preference.
You: figments of my imaginations have sexual preferences
You: now dance for me
Stranger: I can’t dance, I have no legs.
You: then what can you do?
Stranger: I can talk back.
You: can you do math?
Stranger: 1+1=2
You: try dividing by 0
Stranger: Anything divided by 0 is 0
You: thats wrong, dividing by 0 creates a black hole
You: everybody knows that
You: watch i’ll show you
You have disconnected.

Submitted by A from Canada

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (21 votes, score: 4.71)
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Infinity Is a Bitch

March 2nd, 2010
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey, 18/m/usa lookin’ for a girl with a cam..
You: I was hoping to talk about the nature of the universe :(
Stranger: eh
Stranger: what about it?
Stranger: its infinite
Stranger: in all likelihood
Stranger: we are merely a simulation of life
You: nope, im alive
Stranger: or a simulation within a simulation
You: thats paranoid thinking
Stranger: no its reasonable
You: i suppose
Stranger: so space is infinite
Stranger: so there are an infinite number of planets
You: yet farfetched
Stranger: which means there is, in all likelihood, an infinite number of life forms
You: so why then assume that we are a simulation?
Stranger: which means that in all likelihood
You: yeah, of course
Stranger: an infinite number of them have created an infinite number of simulations of life
Stranger: because infinity is a bitch
You: but if you look at it that way, than i could say any random thing, and say its plausible
You: why assume?
Stranger: i dunno. but that shits pretty funny
Stranger: its not like it makes a difference in any way
You: not at all
Stranger: whether we’re actually alive or a simulation
Stranger: yah
You: well good luck with that cam girl thing
Stranger: haha
Stranger: i’ll need it
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Jeremy from Canada

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (8 votes, score: 4.50)
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The Epic Story of The Birth of The Mysterious Saltmen

March 2nd, 2010
No comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi :) looking for a girl for camsex fun. ( not being rude just cutting the bullshit)
You: I would like to have some camsex, but it has to be traumatic.. not fun
Stranger: really
You: like you telling me I will never amount to anything
Stranger: I promise you
You: and telling me that my sister is so much better then me
Stranger: this will ne different
You: while I cry
You: cry rivers of blood
You: and then I cut myself
You: and the blood and tears mix
You: and then I drink it
Stranger: then what
Stranger: ok let me drink it too
You: yes
You: NOW WE BECAME SUPERHEROES OF THE NIGHT
You: FIGHTING CRIME AND LIVING IN PLACES OF SECRECY
You: THEY SHALL CALL US, THE SALTMEN
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Dr X from France

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (16 votes, score: 4.25)
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Medical Supplies

March 2nd, 2010
1 comment
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hey
Stranger: hi
You: where are you from
Stranger: syria
Stranger: u
You: do you have stoning of criminals?
Stranger: no
You: why not
Stranger: why
You: I guess im prejudiced
Stranger: u from
You: what about goats? Are they in abundance?
Stranger: no haaaa
You: strange, when I hear Syria I think goats, sand and stoning
You: I am from Sweden
You: what do you think about that?
Stranger: not arab country the same
Stranger: look at google earth
You: I am aware of the position
You: hence my prejudice
Stranger: no u have learn more
You: teach me something strange about syrian culture
Stranger: s
Stranger: we r good in clothes
You: aha, thats not so strange though
You: do you enjoy goat stew?
Stranger: inhaa
Stranger: i study medicine 3 rd year
Stranger: u what u study
You: I am a dropout
You: mostly sit on my computer
Stranger: what abouf ur country
You: what about it?
Stranger: y
You: cold as fuck, good looking women
You: shitty food
You: (no proper goat recipes)
Stranger: ialsi here
You: ialsi indeed
Stranger: also
You: did you know that ialsi is a city in northeastern Romania?
Stranger: ya
You: no you didnt
You: that is one of those things most people just do not know
Stranger: age
You: 25
Stranger: 21
Stranger: can u work wiith me
You: sure, what do you want me to work on?
Stranger: my father build hoapiital i want to biy some wquipmeny
Stranger: equipment
You: tell me more
Stranger: sory i use mobile
Stranger: i want u to give me price and company there
You: you want me to refer you to a medical supplier in Sweden?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: msn
You: that is so funny it’s not even funny
Stranger: i have to go
You: it’s one of those things that are so odd it cancels out any entertainment value it may contain
You: ok man, nice talking to you
Stranger: email
You: good luck with the hospital
Stranger: to complete talking
You: yes, umm..
You: let’s not
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Jonas from Sweden

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (8 votes, score: 3.38)
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