Talk Dirty to Me

February 28th, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: i wanna talk dirty
Stranger: anybody there
You: mud
You: dirt
You: worms
You: lice
You: scabs
You: herpes
Stranger: i am 18 m from us
Stranger: and having an 18 inch dick
You: lies
Stranger: r u an m or f
You: f
Stranger: from???
Stranger: so wanna talk dirty
You: I thought we were…
You: grass stains
You: blood
Stranger: okies
You: mucus
Stranger: r u an virgin
You: are you a robot?
Stranger: yes
You: I knew it!
Stranger: want to et some boobs
Stranger: give me milk
You: I want YOU to take an English class.
You: Sorry, You can’t do that unless you’re lactating.
You: Only happens after you’ve had a baby.
You: Maybe you should take a Science class as well
Stranger: u have milk beech
You: I’m lactose intolerant.
Stranger: okok
Stranger: give me ur email id
You: Why in the universe would I do that?
Stranger: fuck off
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Teeee from USA

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (16 votes, score: 4.25)
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Taste The Rainbow

February 28th, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey
Stranger: I WANT A PNY
Stranger: PONY*
You: me tooooo
Stranger: a pink one.
You: id like a green one
Stranger: With sparkles
You: duh it makes the pony look even more fabulous than before!
Stranger: I know! I would only feed my pony rainbows, so it could poop skittles
You: thats the best idea ive ever heard
You: i would so buy some of those skittles
Stranger: I would sell you some. Taste the rainbow.
You: we should market this
Stranger: yes, we should.
Stranger: we start at .50 cents a pop, and work our way to the top in china, and then we can cover the middle east and soon enough we can make it in the state
Stranger: s
You: yes!!!!! sounds like we got it in the bag
You: now all we have to do is find some edible rainbows
You: would funfetti cake work?
Stranger: I know some leppys down the road that can lend me some. Hows dat sound?
You: wtf is a leppy?
Stranger: leprechaun, duh?
You: oh ahahha yeah that may work
Stranger: obvs you don’t know the lingo. Im dropping you as a partner in this deal.
You: no way jose! im half part of the deal
Stranger: to bad, we’re done. I gots 17 kids to feed, and i need a partner that can talk the talk.
You: well i can take the plan myself and sell it off right now and get a patent and you will be done!
Stranger: Well den im callen me some bounty huners
You: oh shit they found me already!
Stranger: RUN FOREST RUN!
You: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Meg from USA

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (6 votes, score: 3.17)
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Time Paradox

February 28th, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: GOOD EVENING.
Stranger: Good Morning..
You: Are you in the future?
You: Asia is in the future.
Stranger: No i’m the past
You: Ah, where in the past?
Stranger: I can’t aswer that, it may cause a paradox.
You: Oh dear.
You: We wouldn’t want that happening
You: …or would we?
Stranger: No. we woudn;t
Stranger: No.
Stranger: What’s your social security number?
You: 7
Stranger: Cool, mines 11
You: Nice.
Stranger: Do you touch yourself at night?
You: :[ I miss talking about time paradoxes.
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Libby from USA

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (8 votes, score: 3.75)
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Spreading The Love

February 28th, 2010
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: go fuck yourself
You: okay :D
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Richard from Canada

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations, lol what
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (17 votes, score: 4.35)
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The Peoples Republic vs. The Land of The Free

February 22nd, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: m chinese
Stranger: What?
You: im male
You: chiense
You: wat up
Stranger: You’re Chinese? As in, from China?
You: no
You: im chinese
You: but im from canada
You: haha
Stranger: Well that’s good then.
Stranger: You’re not a fucking commie, are you?
You: uh
You: no?
You: haha
You: canadian
You: for 11 years
Stranger: Good.
Stranger: Can’t trust people these days.
You: LOL
You: for being a commie?
Stranger: Yeah
Stranger: Especially the god damned Chinese.
You: isn’t that big to paranoid
Stranger: WELL USUALLY.
Stranger: I trust the average citizen.
You: hey ur talking to one rite here
You: wtf man
Stranger: But the Chinese? You can’t trust them.
You: LMAO
Stranger: Bunch of godless commies.
You: no
You: they’re not
You: we hate communism
You: no one likes it
You: it suks balls
Stranger: And how do I know you’re just not a communist spreading misinformation?
Stranger: One day, you’ll be getting in our good books.
Stranger: THEN BA<.
Stranger: NUKES OUT THE ASS.
Stranger: SHOULDN’T HAVE TRUST THE FUCKING CHINESE.
You: LMAO
You: wat u did?
Stranger: God no.
Stranger: Not on your life, soldier.
You: so u dun trust me huh
You: where u from
Stranger: I don’t trust nobody who can’t open their eyes all the way
You: LMAOO
Stranger: FROM THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, SON.
Stranger: GOD’S COUNTRY.
You: damm son that is racist
You: HOLY SHIT
You: THIS IS HILARIOUS
You: i’m saving this
You: u fuking american
You: wow
You: u just make ur hole race
You: look like shit
Stranger: American isn’t a race, you pinko bastard.
Stranger: It’s a god damn set of ideals.
Stranger: Freedom.
Stranger: Peace.
You: yea rite
You: bankers
Stranger: Democracy.
You: corruption
Stranger: Godless fucking commie like you wouldn’t know that.
You: lobbyists
You: exploitation
You: racism
You: thats wat u guys are
Stranger: Yoy’re probably trying to bring down the very fucking foundation of capitlism right now.
You: lmao
You: ur capitalism is fuked up
You: theres gonna be martial law soon in USA
Stranger: I bet you report to your contact in Bei fucking Jing, don’t you?
You: cause of ppl like you
Stranger: There already is martial law in China, son.
You: hehe nope
Stranger: That’s what happens when you give into Communism.
You: we’re communist
You: sure but americas just fuked up
You: we’re have better living
You: u guys got so much problems shoved up ur ass
You: u dun even no hwere to start
You: the economy?
You: the poverty?
Stranger: Those are all lies.
You: u guys ar egoing down under
You: chinas already the worlds producer
You: u guys got nothing on us
You: 1.2 billion and growing biatch
Stranger: China doesn’t produce shit expect propaganda and fear.
You: hehe
Stranger: The whole place is eating itself inside out.
You: thats wat USA is
You: we produce everything
You: its over u not aht
Stranger: You fool.
Stranger: You cannot defeat the US of A.
You: hehhehe
Stranger: Do you know why?
Stranger: We’re protected by God.
You: LMAOO
You: oh shit now that is funny
You: seriously
You: u just made my day
You: saying that
You: u think god will protect ur corrupt country
Stranger: I’d wipe that smile off your face you fucking rice ball.
You: LMAOO
You: typical american
You: thats nice
Stranger: And you’re damned right.
Stranger: Unlike fucking pansy ass fruity Canada we don’t deal with you fucking commies.
You: u dun stand a chance against china
You: we already hav bigger army
You: we wage war u guys are dead
Stranger: Oh please.
Stranger: Because you conscript 12 year-olds to make up numbers doesn’t mean shit.
You: lmaoo
Stranger: Has China ever won a war?
You: USA is the king of conscription boy
You: USA came in last in WW2
You: and got ur asses wiped by japan
Stranger: Yeah, but when USA conscripts, we conscript healthy young men.
You: u guy didn’t even join the war
You: until it was almost over
You: even canadians were earlier than u lazy asses
Stranger: Son, that’s because America doesn’t get involved in a conflict unless it’s necessary.
Stranger: And when we do? We mop the fucking floor.
You: bull shit
You: u guys are pussies
Stranger: How about I light your house up like Hiroshima, boy.
You: thast why
Stranger: You remember that, you fucking Gook?
You: yea nukes
You: sure solve everything liek that huh
Stranger: You probably don’t. You’re probably just a god damned kid.
You: typical american trash
Stranger: It won the fucking war is what.
You: yea u heartless bastards
You: anyone can win with a nuke
Stranger: Would you want to be living under Nazis?
You: thats easy
You: we killed the nazis already
Stranger: Oh, you probably would.
You: u bombed japan
You: doesn’t even matter
You: wat u think u helped save the hoel world?
You: it was just japan
Stranger: Kid.
Stranger: do you know ANYTHING.
Stranger: And I fucking mean ANYTHING
Stranger: About military history?
You: haha ur just tweaking it
You: so it makes it seem like
You: americans did anything
You: it was the british
You: the canadians
You: UK
You: americans came in last
You: just to get all the fame and glory
You: typical americans
Stranger: The only thing those limey bastards did was get shelled by the fucking krauts and cry for the Red White and Blue to save them.
Stranger: And we fucking did.
Stranger: Because that’s what Americans do.
Stranger: Save people.
You: hehehe
You: right save people
Stranger: The ones worth saving.
You: yea
You: tahts just sick
You: right there
You: u guy sthink ur so good
You: picking the ppl u save
Stranger: That’s because we are.
You: they’re all lives
You: u guys got nothin
You: ur economy is crumbling
You: china is still strong as fuck
You: we cut off our supply u guys are DONE
Stranger: you’d have to be retarded to believe that.
Stranger: I bet you fucking are.
Stranger: ARE YOU RETARDED?
You: yea sure
You: say that
You: just shows
You: u got nothing
Stranger: BEsides. What does China produce?
Stranger: Slave labour.
Stranger: Really now.
You: every fuking thing
Stranger: In ten years time, anything done in China can be replaced with robots.
You: we make everything
You: u just in denial
Stranger: Everything?
Stranger: Boy.
Stranger: To you rice might be ‘everything’
You: yea in ten years time USA will be down under xcause of the economical plans OBAMA has created
Stranger: But do Chinese make freedom?
Stranger: Do they manufacture hope?
You: we dun need to manufacture it
Stranger: Do they censor themselves up a fucking constitution?
You: unlike americans
Stranger: No they don’t.
You: with fake ideals
You: and false hope
You: false propoganda
Stranger: Because they’re fucking commies.
You: FOX news
You: CNN
You: all propaganda
Stranger: DON’T YOU TALK SHIT ABOUT CNN BOY.
You: hehhehe
Stranger: You wanna know what propaganda is?
Stranger: Its the shit spewing out of your mouth right now.
You: this is ironica
Stranger: Whatever Chairman fucking Mao told you.
You: cause ur the one hos so dedicated
You: to those false ideals
You: false hopes
Stranger: You think you’re smart with your liberal rhetoric bullshit.
You: false dreams
You: LOLL
You: wow really
Stranger: You keep repeating the same shit.
Stranger: Like a fucking robot
You: ur the one talkign big shit
You: talkign bout hope
You: communism
Stranger: Like a fucking Chinese.
You: just keep on repeatin
You: communism
Stranger: I need to go piss.
You: LOLL
You: yea
You: ull be crawling on ur knees begging for the chinese to save ur country
You: when the economy goes down
You have disconnected.

Submitted by SS from Canada

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (67 votes, score: 3.54)
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Beef Tongue

February 22nd, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: what do u like better
You: cats or dogs
Stranger: hedgehogs, actually
You: hmm why
Stranger: but cats and dogs are both nice. dogs give more affection but cats are lower maintenance
Stranger: you?
Stranger: hedgehogs are cute
Stranger: and small
You: in my country we eat hedgehogs for breakfast
Stranger: australia? new zealand?
You: their meat is very tendue
You: tendure
Stranger: well, see that’s another use for a hedgehog
Stranger: i know other countries that eat dogs and cats
Stranger: i guess anything is game
You: have u tried human meat
Stranger: no, that would be a bit weird
Stranger: to be able to talk to your meal
You: i once bit my lip, thats the closest ive had to eating human meat
Stranger: lol
Stranger: tasty
You: a bit bloody
You: but thats how i like em
Stranger: i hate biting my tongue
Stranger: i’d rather bite my lip than my tongue
You: have u had pig tongue?
Stranger: mmm, no. beef tongue yeah. in soup or something
Stranger: you?
You: i had tongue before
You: it was in paris
Stranger: wow, how was it cooked?
You: i believe they call it french kiss, and its served alive
Stranger: alive? or raw?
You: alive
You: still attached
You: she was inexperienced though
Stranger: whaaaat
You: i thought we’re talking about tongues
Stranger: to eat a live tongue?
Stranger: just dine on an animal while it’s stretched in front of you?
You: who said eat, i said i had tongues
You: didnt east them
You: eat
Stranger: oh, we were talking about food
Stranger: thought we were still talking about food
Stranger: lol
You: arnt we?
Stranger: i’m confused.
You: beef tongues
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Phuey from Canada

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (19 votes, score: 3.79)
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ASL?

February 22nd, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hwy
You: Hello
Stranger: hey
Stranger: a/s/l
You: L A S
You: SAL
You: LSA
You: SLA
You: ASL
Stranger:
You: right
You: not so fun is it
Stranger: haha
Stranger: well let’s start over
Stranger: hi i’m Veronica
You: no, you burned that bridge..
You: bywe
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Jani from Hungary

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (28 votes, score: 4.32)
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Balls

February 19th, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hyi
Stranger: hi
You: whats your name?
Stranger: Chris you
You: Balls
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Uven from Sweden

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (43 votes, score: 2.70)
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Turkey

February 19th, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: turkish?
You: no
Stranger: what than?
You: I have been to Turkey though
Stranger: ok
You: Well im not Turkish
You: are you?
Stranger: yes
You: salam
Stranger: :P
Stranger: where you from?
You: Turkey
Stranger: you said no and now you are turkish?
You: yes
You: doesnt make any sense does it?
Stranger: no
You: I also suspect that you are not turkish
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Salam from Spain

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (22 votes, score: 4.50)
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In Soviet Russia…

February 19th, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello
Stranger: hello
You: where are you from?
Stranger: Russia
You: ah
Stranger: and you?
You: Sweden
You: In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, party can always find you!
Stranger: M&f?
You: In America, you listen to man on radio. In Soviet Russia, man on radio listen to you!
Stranger: Russia is not a Soviet many years
Stranger: Are you here?
You: In America, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you. In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still roundhouse kicks you.
You: I am
Stranger: Chuck Norris is very old
You: In Matrix, you bend spoon. In Soviet Russia, spoon bends you!
Stranger: You don’t love a Soviet Russia?
You: I love Soviet
You: Russia
You: What’s meant by an exchange opinions in the Communist party of the Soviet Union?

It’s when I come to a party meeting with my own opinion, and I leave with the party’s.

Stranger: well. But I don’t love.
You: why not?
You: What occupies the last 6 pages of the Lada User’s Manual?

The bus and train timetables.

Stranger: Soviet Russia has not a freedom.
You: A judge walks out of his chambers laughing his head off. A colleague approaches him and asks why he is laughing. “I just heard the funniest joke in the world!” “Well, go ahead, tell me!” says the other judge. “I can’t – I just gave a guy ten years for it!”
Stranger: That’s you said, as you lived in Soviet Russia
You: yes
You: An American boasts,
- Our president Hoover stopped people from drinking!
- That’s a cheap trick, – says a Russian, – Our leader Stalin stopped people from eating!
You: got any good inside Russian jokes on tap?
You: something not about vodka or fur hats
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Ola from Sweden

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (25 votes, score: 3.80)
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