Figment of My Imagination

March 2nd, 2010
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: asl?
Stranger: -50/asexual/your mind
You: -50? so are you your mom?
Stranger: No, i’ll be born in 50 years
You: so you some type of spaceman?
You: how’d you manage to do that
Stranger: I’m in your mind.
Stranger: You’re creating what I type.
You: what am i thinking about now?
Stranger: You’re thinking about cottage cheese.
You: OMG I’ve always wanted to talk to myself
You: do you think i should’ve slapped stacey for being a bitch today?
Stranger: Well i’m not really you.
Stranger: I’m just a thing you invented.
Stranger: probably out of boredom
You: well you’re in my mind, so by talking to you, i’m talking to myself right?
Stranger: i’m more or less another version of yourself
Stranger: but treated as separate
Stranger: like that movie A Beautiful Mind
You: which makes you… gay?
You: its cool though, i’m not homophobic or anything
Stranger: I don’t think figments of imaginations can have a sexual preference.
You: figments of my imaginations have sexual preferences
You: now dance for me
Stranger: I can’t dance, I have no legs.
You: then what can you do?
Stranger: I can talk back.
You: can you do math?
Stranger: 1+1=2
You: try dividing by 0
Stranger: Anything divided by 0 is 0
You: thats wrong, dividing by 0 creates a black hole
You: everybody knows that
You: watch i’ll show you
You have disconnected.

Submitted by A from Canada

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (20 votes, score: 4.70)
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Infinity Is a Bitch

March 2nd, 2010
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Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey, 18/m/usa lookin’ for a girl with a cam..
You: I was hoping to talk about the nature of the universe :(
Stranger: eh
Stranger: what about it?
Stranger: its infinite
Stranger: in all likelihood
Stranger: we are merely a simulation of life
You: nope, im alive
Stranger: or a simulation within a simulation
You: thats paranoid thinking
Stranger: no its reasonable
You: i suppose
Stranger: so space is infinite
Stranger: so there are an infinite number of planets
You: yet farfetched
Stranger: which means there is, in all likelihood, an infinite number of life forms
You: so why then assume that we are a simulation?
Stranger: which means that in all likelihood
You: yeah, of course
Stranger: an infinite number of them have created an infinite number of simulations of life
Stranger: because infinity is a bitch
You: but if you look at it that way, than i could say any random thing, and say its plausible
You: why assume?
Stranger: i dunno. but that shits pretty funny
Stranger: its not like it makes a difference in any way
You: not at all
Stranger: whether we’re actually alive or a simulation
Stranger: yah
You: well good luck with that cam girl thing
Stranger: haha
Stranger: i’ll need it
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Jeremy from Canada

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (8 votes, score: 4.50)
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The Epic Story of The Birth of The Mysterious Saltmen

March 2nd, 2010
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi :) looking for a girl for camsex fun. ( not being rude just cutting the bullshit)
You: I would like to have some camsex, but it has to be traumatic.. not fun
Stranger: really
You: like you telling me I will never amount to anything
Stranger: I promise you
You: and telling me that my sister is so much better then me
Stranger: this will ne different
You: while I cry
You: cry rivers of blood
You: and then I cut myself
You: and the blood and tears mix
You: and then I drink it
Stranger: then what
Stranger: ok let me drink it too
You: yes
You: NOW WE BECAME SUPERHEROES OF THE NIGHT
You: FIGHTING CRIME AND LIVING IN PLACES OF SECRECY
You: THEY SHALL CALL US, THE SALTMEN
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Dr X from France

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (16 votes, score: 4.25)
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Medical Supplies

March 2nd, 2010
1 comment
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hey
Stranger: hi
You: where are you from
Stranger: syria
Stranger: u
You: do you have stoning of criminals?
Stranger: no
You: why not
Stranger: why
You: I guess im prejudiced
Stranger: u from
You: what about goats? Are they in abundance?
Stranger: no haaaa
You: strange, when I hear Syria I think goats, sand and stoning
You: I am from Sweden
You: what do you think about that?
Stranger: not arab country the same
Stranger: look at google earth
You: I am aware of the position
You: hence my prejudice
Stranger: no u have learn more
You: teach me something strange about syrian culture
Stranger: s
Stranger: we r good in clothes
You: aha, thats not so strange though
You: do you enjoy goat stew?
Stranger: inhaa
Stranger: i study medicine 3 rd year
Stranger: u what u study
You: I am a dropout
You: mostly sit on my computer
Stranger: what abouf ur country
You: what about it?
Stranger: y
You: cold as fuck, good looking women
You: shitty food
You: (no proper goat recipes)
Stranger: ialsi here
You: ialsi indeed
Stranger: also
You: did you know that ialsi is a city in northeastern Romania?
Stranger: ya
You: no you didnt
You: that is one of those things most people just do not know
Stranger: age
You: 25
Stranger: 21
Stranger: can u work wiith me
You: sure, what do you want me to work on?
Stranger: my father build hoapiital i want to biy some wquipmeny
Stranger: equipment
You: tell me more
Stranger: sory i use mobile
Stranger: i want u to give me price and company there
You: you want me to refer you to a medical supplier in Sweden?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: msn
You: that is so funny it’s not even funny
Stranger: i have to go
You: it’s one of those things that are so odd it cancels out any entertainment value it may contain
You: ok man, nice talking to you
Stranger: email
You: good luck with the hospital
Stranger: to complete talking
You: yes, umm..
You: let’s not
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Jonas from Sweden

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (8 votes, score: 3.38)
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Tiny Tazmanian Devils

March 2nd, 2010
No comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hiya
Stranger: ohai
You: wassup
Stranger: ntm
Stranger: pree bored
Stranger: and youh?
You: well, im chatting right naos
You: nao*
Stranger: sweeet
Stranger: so where you fraum?
You: holland, and you?
Stranger: australia
You: you like the boomerang?
Stranger: never used one
You: look outside your window
You: ok?
You: how many kangaroos do you see?
Stranger: 7
Stranger: but it is night so there could be more
You: why dont you go for a ride
You: hump in the bag infront of a kangaroo
Stranger: its called a pouch
Stranger: and they are sleeping
You: yeh
You: if they attack you can defeat them with a boomerang
You: lol
Stranger: are you stupid
You: lol look out, they kick
Stranger: if they attack theyll be too close for a boomberang
You: well jump in the pouch if they attack
You: look out tho
You: you might destroy their wallet
Stranger: …their wallet
Stranger: right
You: lol
You: so
You: how are you doing
Stranger: im good
You: watching “crocodile hunter”?
Stranger: nope, you?
You: well
You: nop
You: so do you like death metal music?
Stranger: nope, indie
Stranger: you?
You: i do like it
You: do you like opera?
Stranger: pfft no
You: good
You: lol
You: do you live in the outskirts australia?
Stranger: what are the outskirts
You: desert…
You: outside the city
You: where kangaroos live freely
You: tazmania
Stranger: thats more central australia
Stranger: outskirts would mean the edge of australa
Stranger: wich is the coast\
Stranger: so there arent really outskirts
You: …..
You: ok
Stranger: and no, i live in suburbia
You: i hope you dont run into a tasmanian devil
You: ok
Stranger: why? theyre tiny
You: they bite
You: and you can defeat them again with the boomerang
You: and throw a pokemon ball
You: “with that little irritating music” congratsulations you caught a tasmaNIAN devil
Stranger: bunnys bite, are you scared of them
You: you can now name the tasmanian devil
You: bunnys dont bite
You: bunnys get bited
You: they are tasty
You: ok gtg cya
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Undead from Greece

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (6 votes, score: 1.50)
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So You’re a Dude?

March 1st, 2010
1 comment
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: i am a 15 year old boy looking for a girl willing to give me pictures of her boobs
You: I bet you are. Why don’t you just look at porn? It will save you a lot of time and won’t cost money.
Stranger: im useing a school laptop so its kinda hard
You: Holy shit. 15 and using a school laptop? You must be either really rich, or really not American.
Stranger: nope im american and I am in omaha going to district 66
You: Well if you can afford the tuition for a school that gives you your own laptop, you can afford an iPodTouch/iPhone/any fucking smart phone that lets you view porn privately, anywhere…
Stranger: no my dad is a fucking cheapscate
You: Get a job, and then you won’t need the money for porn. You’ll get lots of pussy no matter how ugly you are if you have cash-flow.
Stranger: my grades suck so I cant get a job
You: Then become a criminal.
Stranger: as tempting as that is I dont really think that I what to steal from people
You: Look at Al Capone. Did he steal? yes. Did he cheat? yes. But he was a national hero, aside from being a criminal.
You: Steal from those who don’t need it. Be a modern day Robin Hood.
Stranger: umm no I just wont steal it’s not in my nature
You: So you’re too good to steal, but looking for girls who must be so fat, ugly, mentally challenged and desperate to take advantage of them on Omegle and get them to show you their tits is not bad at all?
Stranger: ok thats not entirely what I intend mostly cause I’m looking for decent or very preety girls to show me boobs
You: You’d have better luck finding them on chat rooms. Trust me. I’m a veteran speaking from experience. There is no pretty boobs on display, here.
Stranger: soo your a dude?
You: No shit, Sherlock.
You: Brilliant observation.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Reign from USA

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (23 votes, score: 4.70)
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Mother And Daughter Bonding

March 1st, 2010
No comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey mom.
Stranger: hello son
You: but i’m your daughter… do i really look that much like a man? WHY AM I CURSED WITH THIS BUSHY BEARD ON MY FACE!?!?! WHY!?!?
Stranger: years and years of inbreeding
You: why did you have to have me with your brother mommy?
Stranger: well you see
You: uh oh…
Stranger: im too large to leave to house
Stranger: so johnny is the only man i can love
You: obesity has caused you too much pain, mother. father is your brother. that is disgusting. mommy.
Stranger: im sorry honey
Stranger: but we cant do anything about it now
Stranger: were just gonna have to deal with it
You: but what about my future?
Stranger: your going to have to shave that beard if you want to attract a young man
You: many men friend request me on facebook and leave me nice comments on my photos, mother! they say they really like my beard and then they put “lol!” or “rofl!” which must mean they like me! :)
Stranger: aww honey….. that means…..
Stranger: that…. they like you… yes…
Stranger: your a beautiful young woman
You: oh yay! maybe i’ll have a husband one day and it wont be my brother or one of the 55 cats we have! :D
Stranger: dont you dare speak about the cats like that
Stranger: they are as much a part of this family as you or me
You: i’m sorry mother… i will go hug each and every one of them to apologize to them…
Stranger: good idea
Stranger: make sure you let them lick your face
You: hey mom, one of the cats scratched my eye out and ripped off my arm and now he’s foaming at the mouth…
You: what should we do?
You: wow he sure is hissing a lot…
Stranger: okay okay
Stranger: were going to play a game
Stranger: to fix your problem
You: oh i like games! :D
Stranger: lets see how many of these pills you can swallow in 30 seconds
Stranger: if you finish the whole bottle, you win!
You: oh man i love when you give me pills! they make me feel funny! :)
You: YAY GAME TIME!
You: one…
You: two…
You: three..
You: fourty seven…
You: fourty eight…
Stranger: yes…yes..
Stranger: your almost there!
You: fifty?
You: haha momayyy i feels sorta funny ins these head and tum tum! i like ponays…
Stranger: shhhhhhhhh
Stranger: now were gonna wrestle
Stranger: and your going to like it
You: oh i like wrestlingsss momay…
You: daddy wrestles with me a lot…
Stranger: oh he does?
Stranger: what kind of wrestling
You: yesh mommy and he calls it woozie wrestling…
You: i dont know what that means but now i’ve gained a lot of extra wait and puke every morning and feel weird things in my stomach…
Stranger: oh dear
Stranger: well now your truley a woman
You: oh yes! no husband required?
You: when i went to church yesterday, the priest told me i was carrying a blessing but i dont know what he meant… and then people kept saying congratulations to me. i think its because my beard grew another inch.
Stranger: i gotta go now, hilarious conversation
Stranger: ttyl
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Bearded lady from USA

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (17 votes, score: 4.71)
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Systematic Pervert

March 1st, 2010
No comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey
Stranger: Are you a A)Girl B) Horny Girl C)Guy D) Horny Guy
You: uh, C
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Yuri from Russia

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (15 votes, score: 4.07)
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Civilized Exchange

March 1st, 2010
No comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hello
You: hey
You: got anything interesting to say at all?
Stranger: Honestly?
You: I prefer an honest respons to a legitimate question
Stranger: Then, I honestly think I do. But maybe not to you
You: we can honestly say that under the right circumstances, your could definitely utter words of greatness?
Stranger: I should hope so
Stranger: If that wasn’t true what would I have to live for?
You: you are saying that mute people should be killed?
You: that is interesting
You: you where right
Stranger: Well now you’re putting words in my mouth
Stranger: What would I live for, I said
Stranger: I’m sure other people have different goals
You: dont get me started on putting things in mouths
Stranger: I won’t, promise
You: thank you
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Anna from Sweden

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (5 votes, score: 4.00)
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Dirty Girl

March 1st, 2010
No comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey if your a girl do you want to talk dirty?
You: YES, YES I DO.
You: I didn’t wash today.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Nikki from England

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (22 votes, score: 4.36)
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