The Fetus of Dick Cheney

July 24th, 2011
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Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: hi
Stranger: IDENTIFY YOURSELF
You: cia agent pierre thomas ss:433-72-1132 DOB: 11-14-67
You: charlie?
Stranger: yes
You: o ok
Stranger: I’ve procured the device
You: did you crack the SIcN or do need it?
Stranger: I dont do crack anymore, you know that.
You: i thought you brought ghost with you
Stranger: Ghost had to be taken care of.
You: thank you i thought i was the only one to feel that
You: so what did you find on the device
Stranger: Let me tell you something first.
Stranger: You tell ANYBODY.
Stranger: I’ll simply have you killed.
You: you have my word boss
Stranger: Good.
You: so?
Stranger: The device is this key to our world domination.
You: how boss?
Stranger: I’ve discovered the secrets to time travel.
Stranger: This device makes it all possible.
You: dont we have a team researching that back at HQ
Stranger: You fool!
Stranger: The HQ is a front for our operations!
Stranger: They have no idea!
You: thats why were manipulating their work force
Stranger: They have no idea their 401k plans are tanking. Muhahaha!
You: you know whats next, right boss?
Stranger: Spare me your tripe.
Stranger: I need you to do something for me.
You: sure anything
Stranger: I need you to research which stocks showed the greatest gains between the years 1956 and today.
You: ill get to it
Stranger: Are you finished yet? This is why you were recommended to me.
Stranger: I have very little patience for this behavior.
You: since 1956 not alot of stocks have existed but the greastest gains were achieved by gold, oil, and ford
Stranger: Hmm. Well done.
Stranger: The monetary gains are strictly secondary to our primary objective.
You: i dont recall?
Stranger: TO STOP DICK CHENEY FROM BEING BORN
Stranger: or living whatever
You: KILL THE FETUS!!!!
You: BODY
You: we should capture their leader
You: the nigger
Stranger: I make the decisions here.
You: just suggesting boss
Stranger: You can save your suggestions to yourself.
You: sure thing
Stranger: Now meet me at the club at 11:00 tonight.
Stranger: We have business to discuss.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by desmondS from USA

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (17 votes, score: 3.71)
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Poor Billy

July 24th, 2011
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: One day, billy was walking down the road
Stranger: and?
You: and he died
You: you happy now?
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Riku from Canada

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (23 votes, score: 4.09)
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Duck With a Monocle

July 24th, 2011
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Beware
You: A duck is watching you
Stranger: haha
You: It’s wearing a monocle
Stranger: where is he?
You: Hiding
You: I tried to find him yesterday
Stranger: tell me where!
You: but he vanished in a puff of pink smoke, yelling “WOOF!”
Stranger: maybe it was a dog?
You: Nope, definitly a duck
You: He had a tail
Stranger: how are you so sure?
Stranger: dogs have tails
You: Yes, but Ducks have fur
Stranger: a poodle?
You: It had a beak as well
You: And was biting me with its sharp teeth
Stranger: anyway, where are you from?
You: I can’t say, it might be listening to this conversation
You: NOWHERE IS SAFE
Stranger: are you high?
You: I’m always like this
You: WHEN THEY’RE WATCHING ME
You: SO THAT THEY WON’T KNOW WHO I AM
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Riku from Canada

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (18 votes, score: 3.94)
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Fat People Need Love Too

July 24th, 2011
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Im fat, is that okay?
You: aloha
You: yes is ok
Stranger: (hug)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by KoDen78 from Italy

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (21 votes, score: 4.14)
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Twisted Confession

July 15th, 2011
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: whats good
You: Hello, I’m Dr. Turnet.
You: A registered psychologist.
You: How may i assist you today?
Stranger: i think the memories of my past have caught up with me
You: Good or bad?
Stranger: very bad
You: Dear lord, can you tell me about these memories?
You: Have a seat on the futon first.
You: Make yourself relaxed.
You: Now explain to me, what are these memories? -grabs pencil and paper-
Stranger: well, i could only tell these memories to a female
Stranger: im very uncomfortable
You: I am a female. I’m Dr. Lillian Turnet.
Stranger: thats good
You: Are you ready to speak to me about such memories?
Stranger: sure
You: Okay. I’m listening.
Stranger: well in 1995, i killed a man
You: Oh god. For what?
Stranger: it was an accident
Stranger: it was a hit and run
You: Mhmm. I see. How does this make you feel?
Stranger: i cant dream without picturing the guy
You: interesting. -takes notes-
You: Tell me more.
Stranger: he was a homless man
Stranger: he was crossing the street
Stranger: i thought it was fun
You: Aha. So it wasn’t an accident.
Stranger: well i aimed for him
You: Sir, I have contacted the local authorities and they are on their way to arrest you.
You: That is homocide.
You: Why would you do such a cruel thing?
Stranger: because i felt like i needed to
Stranger: i needed to have sex with his dead body
Stranger: i used his blood as lubricant
Stranger: in his ass
You: Very grotesque.
Stranger: but so hot
You: You are a sick man, and you need help.
You: The police are on their way.
Stranger: most likely
You: They have tracked your IP Address.
Stranger: bummer
You: Yep. Any last words?
Stranger: well i have my gun here, im ready to either shot myself or go down in a blaze of glory
You: You know what, just shoot yourself.
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Dezmond from USA

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (17 votes, score: 2.94)
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