You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: here, try this cocaine.
Stranger: Depends on what you have.
You: it’s good with the coke
Stranger: You mind if I try out this sofa of yours?
Stranger: Awesome. Where’d you get it from?
You: same leather they use in ferraris
Stranger: When you been to Italy? I haven’t heard of this.
You: i did my performance piece there
Stranger: So anything else new with you?
You: you know, the usual. I’ve been really into the new BK double-down
You: I’ve been getting like…2 a day for the past week
Stranger: I never have the slightest idea of what you’re talking about, Willis.
Stranger: Good coke, though.
You: it’s two chicken breasts instead of bread. with bacon, cheese, and a zesty sauce.
Stranger: I think I’m tripping on something else than cocaine here if this thing in my hand is actually a sandwich…
Stranger: What’d you put in my gin, Willis?!
You: fuck man….i don’t know, that feels like 3 hours ago now
You: it’s by the fireplace
Stranger: What’re you talking about??
You: fuck i don’t remember
Stranger: Don’t go over the river, Willis
Stranger: Please just don’t
Stranger: There’s no pot of gold at the other side…
Stranger: I don’t know, man.
Stranger: I think it’s growling at me.
You: for real. you need another drink
You: *chops more lines of cocaine*
Stranger: You’re not going to let me zone out and then take pictures of me again, are you??
You: look we were all out of our heads that night
You: when am i gonna ever live it down
Stranger: I don’t know when to trust you anymore, man
You: you always get like this when you drink
Stranger: I’m just sayin’!
You: *mocking voice* “I’m just sayin, I’m just saying”
Stranger: I’m JUST SAYIN’, WILLIS!!
Stranger: Fucking… parrot.
Stranger: Noooo, don’t leave me alone on this sofa now.
You: Every time, man. Every fucking time.
Stranger: It’s still GROWLING at me!
Stranger: See, this is what I mean, can’t trust you… Just sayin’, man…
You: here take a xanax, it’ll take the edge off
Stranger: *taking the xanax* Just sayin’…. Just sayin’
You: your lips are getting blue dude
You: we need to get outside
You: but i don’t wanna go anywhere
Stranger: My brains are falling outta my head because of you
Stranger: It’s still there
Stranger: You think I’m walking past that thing?
Stranger: Are you going to feed me to it, Willis??
You: you’re losing your shit
You: it’ll mellow you out
Stranger: So y’know… y’know… so… how’s Bridget these days
You: fine I guess. She’s vegan now.
Stranger: Why’d you have to call her bitch, man??
You: After the shit she was saying about me?
You: Going around telling everyone I have a drug problem?
You: That’s defamation of character.
Stranger: Shit, Willis… shit
You: And I’ll be damned if I
You: if I’m gonna get defamed by a vegan.
Stranger: Maybe she’s right y’know?
You: *snorting another line*
You: Big deal man. We have to eat.
Stranger: Your voice’s kinda garbled
Stranger: ‘s a nice change
You: *sniffing, rubbing gums*
Stranger: What’d you say?
You: *takes sip of gin, clears throat*
You: I was just saying, man, that like….if she won’t eat animals, then like…is it okay to eat a placenta? I mean, like, like, like, nothing died, right?
Stranger: … I’d do it in her butt.
You: It’s like, like a ceremony, like, ancient shit, like, like, like, like, like sacred and shit.
Stranger: (This is the single best Omegle conversation I’ve ever had, but I have to go now. :’D)
You: you know where to find me, Fabian
Stranger: … *passed out and drooling*
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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