Outwitted by Stranger

July 15th, 2011
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Omegle is not a dating site. Please try to have interesting conversations here!
Stranger: we
You: i will answer any question you ask
You: go ahead
Stranger: okay
Stranger: alright
You: error: not a question
Stranger: is the critique of postmodernism itself tired and cliche?
You: ERROR ERROR
You have disconnected.

Submitted by MAtt from USA

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (6 votes, score: 3.33)
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Massive Balls

July 15th, 2011
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heyyyy
You: I have huge balls.
You: Like crazy big.
Stranger: yum.
Stranger: like idc.
You: Note that I say BALLS and not a huge penis.
You: My penis is tiny.
You: Like microscopic tiny.
You: It’s like a clit.
You: Smaller than a clit actually.
You: But my balls.
Stranger: uhm
You: Jesus Christ, my balls.
Stranger: jesus christ I DONT GIVE A FUCK
You: You’d need THREE chicks to lift each one.
You: THREE.
You: FUCKING.
You: CHICKS.
Stranger: prbly as in the bird.
You: So round up two of your friends and come meet me.
You: Touche.
You: But no, I meant humans with vaginas.
You: One and a half guys might be able to.
Stranger: what if i was a girl with a penis?
You: Then, my friend, you wouldn’t be a girl.
You: You would be a freak.
You: FREAK.
Stranger: btu i do have a vagina
You: Then you aren’t a freak.
You: UN-FREAK.
Stranger: i am a normal girl.
You: Did I say that I have huge balls?
Stranger: your right im not the freak you are going on about your balls. that no one on here cares about
You: You love my balls.
Stranger: ohhyeaaa.
Stranger: totally.
You: People say I might have elephantitis.
You: I say “Ha.”
You: If I do have a condition, it’s blue-whaleitis.
Stranger: …..
Stranger: what the hell>
You: Perhaps you’d like to see my balls?
Stranger: not reallly.
You: You won’t regret it.
Stranger: yea i probly will.
Stranger: so im not even gona seeee it.
You: You’re going to insult me by not seeing my balls?
You: Where I come from, that’s an insult.
Stranger: hmm
You: It’s punishable by death.
You: Would you like to die?
Stranger: well i guess your moms vagina is an insult.
You: Touche.
Stranger: naaahh i dont feel like dying
You: Well you will.
You: I’ll suffocate you with my balls.
You: Muahaha.
Stranger: stop talking about vballs
Stranger: i dont acare about how large your balls are.
You: My penis then.
You: My penis is HUGE.
You: I mean TINY.
You: Like a tic-tac.
Stranger: great.
You: It’s been given the nickname “The Mouth Freshener” by many of my peers.
Stranger: hwo do you fuck a girl with a dick that small>
You: Get it? Felattio? Tic-Tac? Haha.
You: Easily.
You: Drug her up.
You: And when she’s passed out, go crazy.
You: Then suffocate her with my balls.
You: Oh wait you don’t want to talk about my huge balls.
You: Sorry.
You: I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Bunty from USA

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (13 votes, score: 4.23)
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The Salmon Conspiracy

July 13th, 2011
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey there
You: welcome to Ferellie’s Fish Emporium
You: How many in your party?
Stranger: just me, i’m waiting for my date
Stranger: i reserved under the name Freely
Stranger: IP Freely
You: Ahh. The one by the big window
You: allow me to seat you
You: here is your menu
Stranger: why thank you
Stranger: could i order a glass of white wine?
You: our soup of the day is cream of shrimp. Surprisingly tasty
You: one glass of wine coming right up
Stranger: ace
You: Ah. The chef broke all the white wine bottles in a salmon accident
Stranger: damn those salmons
You: will champagne be alright, or red wine perhaps
Stranger: always ruining my night when they get chance
You: ahh. I see.
Stranger: champagne will ve fine, thanks
You: Okay. I will do a free upgrade to a bottle since this horrible accident has affected you
You: Here you go
You: Do you want to wait for your date, or order now?
Stranger: how curtious of you
Stranger: i think i’ll be forward
Stranger: and order the lobster
You: Ah. Do you want lemon sauce? Shrimp perhaps?
You: along with the lobster of course
Stranger: I’d love lemon sauce, but aside the lobster please
You: okay. I’ll be right back
You: Oh no!
You: a salmon burned the kitchen!
You: the place is on fire!
You: HEEELPP!
Stranger: I knew i should have packed my gun
Stranger: well your in luck i had that bladderbuster
Stranger: *whips it out and extinguishes fire*
Stranger: you’ll understand of course i’ll need a new lobster
Stranger: someone has urinated all over mine
You: Ah. Thank you for extinguishing the fire. Unfortunately the kitchen burned down. Will a live lobster be alright?
You: oh wait
You: A lobster cooked perfectly during that fire
You: I’ll get that for you
Stranger: ah, holly nice
You: Your date appears to be late
You: Maybe she dumped you
You: or he
You: jk
You: i think she did
Stranger: yes, i was wondering about that
You: Does she have long black hair and an elegant black dress?
Stranger: could you please send over an attractive waitress with whom i can shamelessly flirt until my date turns up?
Stranger: No, she’s quite short and has red hair
You: ah. Good, the black haired girl was killed by a salmon
You: I will send over a waitress
You: SHARON!!
You: GET OVER HERE
You: I lied. I am a salmon myself
Stranger: you bastards
You: I am going to kill her too
Stranger: i knew it all along
You: Mwahaha
Stranger: luckily i’ve come prepared
You: NO?!
Stranger: there is a team of snipers standing outside
You: I will take you as a hostage
Stranger: what you thought was a rather nifty lasershow are acutally guns be pointed at you
You: NO! I thought the owner upgraded the restaurant
Stranger: hey, i’m willing to sacrifice myself to rid the world of you scaly scum
You: I am a karate master. I will dispose of you
You: HEE YAH
Stranger: did i mention i was half bear?
You: No, why?
Stranger: *claws at salmon and eats lower body*
You: OWW! That hurts!
You: Stop!
Stranger: that’ll teach you for that stupid jumping out of the water
You: I… can’t… breathe…
You: ugh…. i see the light….
You: Don’t let me die like this….
Stranger: you’re a water creature and you’ve been out of water the past 15 minutes
Stranger: if anything you’re luvky to have come this far
You: ERK!
You: -dies-
Stranger: well that takes care of that
Stranger: now for some taco bell
You: *his fishyfriends put him in a coffin*
You: *he disappears forever*
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Austyn from Canada

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (16 votes, score: 4.50)
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Rough Chocolate Play

July 13th, 2011
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello
Stranger: hi im 19 female usa lets talk dirty!
Stranger: asl?
You: You sexy vixen, I wanna smother you in chocolate syrup!
Stranger: o yummy! when u gonna lick it off???
You: lick off? I said smother, as in choke
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by George from Iceland

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (30 votes, score: 4.47)
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Wizard VS Jedi

July 13th, 2011
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Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey
Stranger: i put on my wizard hat.
Stranger: i cast invisibility.
Stranger: what do u do?
You: i wield my lightsaber
You: and use force vision stuff
Stranger: FUCK jeti are so OP
Stranger: i cast fireball. i hit you for 43dmg.
You: i use force crush. you die from internal hemhorraging.
Stranger: fuck jedi* (however you spell it)
You: no no. that’s not jedi. that’s sith.
Stranger: lol NICE
Stranger: round two…. i cast teleport.. im 50yards behind u
Stranger: GO
You: i use force stasis. you’re frozen in place.
Stranger: fuck.. i cast time stop and hit my root break
Stranger: GO
You: i throw my lightsaber and impale you.
Stranger: THIS IS BULLSHIT
Stranger: youre good.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Riley from Canada

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (10 votes, score: 4.40)
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