Chuck Norris vs. Mr. T

March 17th, 2010
No comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hey
Stranger: Asl
You: hrm 70/m/Everywhere
You: I am Chuck Norris
Stranger: I’m mr.t
You: Legend has it that you are approaching my coolness level
You: This is not ok
Stranger: So if we walk into a bar together it’ll blow up from so much awesome
You: So I must punish you with a roundhouse kick to the balls so powerful generations from now will feel it
Stranger: I pity u fool
You: And if we both put on a cape the universe will explode
Stranger: Burn…….
You: I’m doing pushdowns right now, when I push the world goes down
Stranger: I just killed 2 stones with one bird
Stranger: U use to be able to do that
You: Used to, Now I can kill 3000 boulders with one flea
You: I’ve counted to infinity twice
Stranger: I have a 2nd shotgun in my gotee u only have a fist
You: I destroyed the periodic table of elements, the only element is of surprise
Stranger: And pity which intisls are MRT
You: If you google watch Chuck Norris get his ass kicked, nothing will come up…It doesn’t happen
You: Baseball has no steroids
You: only men who have been breathed on by me
Stranger: If you spell mr.t in scrablle you win. Itstantly. Forever. At EVERYTHING
You: My tears cure cancer, too bad I never cry
Stranger: I don’t have tears u whiny bitch
Stranger: Walker Texas ranger was an EPIC FAIL
You: Ya well when Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the hulk, who turns into me
You: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY
Stranger: My penis is 1inch
Stranger: From the floor
You: The saying “Break A Leg” was started in Walker Texas Ranger by letting people hope that would be the extent of there injuries.

It never happend

You: I have more balls then you, no matter what
You: If I have 5 cents and you have 5 cents, I have more money then you
You: I went to the Virgin Islands and they were renamed the Galapogas Islands
Stranger: I’m black WHAT CRACKER
You: A snake once bit me in the Arabian desert, It died three days later of poisoning
You: If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not me
Stranger: Aliens tried to anal probe me once……,…. That’s what caused the movie indepence movie was based on
You: One day Mcdonalds denied me an egg mcmuffin at 10:35, I roundhoused it so hard it became a Wendys
Stranger: I get mcmuffins at burger king
You: Whenever I smile someone dies, If I smile while roundhousing someone, two people die
You: Most people fear the reaper, I call him an impressive rookie
You: I’m done Mr. T if we keep this up the world will explode in awesomeness, 6 times
You: Then the chunks left will get roundhoused by me
Stranger: I sleep with a pillow under my gun
Stranger: I think this makes us brothers
You: Indeed
You: Well goodbye for now, see you during the extinction of the human race
Stranger: Goodbye bro btw I’m better LOLOLOLOL
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by David from Canada

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (5 votes, score: 4.60)
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Party People

March 17th, 2010
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi!
Stranger: hello
You: What’s up?
Stranger: party time
Stranger: do you like to party?
You: I LOVE TO PARTY.
You: But it’s only 10:30 a.m.
You: I’m still tired from the last party.
Stranger: i party any place, any time
You: Well what inda party is it?
You: *kind of
Stranger: party time party
You: AWESOME.
You: You bring the keg.
Stranger: what kind of party do you like?
You: One with beer.
You: And … party balloons.
You: How about you?
Stranger: yes, balloons
Stranger: party hats
Stranger: cake
Stranger: ass clowns
You: ASS CLOWNS ROXOR
Stranger: i made a party in my pants
You: Oh.
You: That’s kinda awkward.
You: Well, party’s over!
You: G’night!
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Aimee from USA

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (3 votes, score: 2.33)
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Toxic Mother

March 17th, 2010
No comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Oh hey mom.
Stranger: hi
You: Are you trying to hook up with thirteen year old boys again?
Stranger: I was just baking them cookies!
You: Ugh gross.
Stranger: and showing off my sweet buns
You: This is why i ran away from home!
You: You make me sick!
Stranger: Lighten up. A little sex never killed anyone
You: WITH LITTLE BOYS?!
Stranger: Hmph, your just jealous cause you can’t get any
Stranger: fatty
You: ::cries::
You: I HATE YOU MOM.
Stranger: Come here and cry on Moma’s shoulder. . . If you can reach it past your belly
You: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Aimee from USA

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (7 votes, score: 4.14)
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Found Waldo

March 17th, 2010
No comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey my name’s waldo whats your name?
You: OMG RLY?
You: I FOUND WALDO!!!!
Stranger: Yes why?
Stranger: What
Stranger: Yes.. why
You: everyone! I found waldo!!! lol
Stranger: So?
Stranger: Shit cops are at my door gotta run
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by John from USA

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (5 votes, score: 2.20)
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Iron Man

March 16th, 2010
2 comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: will u say asl?
Stranger: i am iron man
You: wow
You: hi there iron man
You: can u iron my shirt
Stranger: no biatch im iron man
Stranger: not iron mom
You: then ur iron sucks
You: it cant iron no shirts
You: what can u do then?
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Ladyboy from Thailand

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (15 votes, score: 4.60)
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Awkward Turle

March 16th, 2010
1 comment
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: I have a confession to make.
You: ok
You: make it
Stranger: I love you….
You: right
You: so does my dog
Stranger: But babe.
Stranger: I REALLY love you.
You: and how do you know i’m a babe?
Stranger: Im a chick, I call guys babe.
Stranger: So, stfu
You: u stfu
You: lover chick
Stranger: :(
You: I’m also a girl
Stranger: Umm.
You: fail
Stranger: *awkward turtle*
Stranger: *RUN*
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Nyob from Canada

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (6 votes, score: 3.33)
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Helga And Brunswick

March 16th, 2010
1 comment
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: WHAT NOW HELGA? WHAT IS IT?
Stranger: I VANT TO COME OUT OF DAS KITCHEN
You: I TOLD YOU, MAKE ME MAH GODAMN SAMMICH!
Stranger: NO YOU FOOL! MY POOR LEGS! MAKE IT YOURSELF
You: YOU UNGRATEFUL BITCH! GET ON THE BED! IM GOING TO PUNISH YOU!
Stranger: NO
Stranger: I DONT VANT THAT
You: YES HELGA ITS TIME!
Stranger: NO YOU SNIFFILING PIG
Stranger: DONT TOUCH!
You: FINE HELGA! BUT WHERE WILL YOU GO? WHAT WILL YOU DO?
You: DEMETRI HAS LEFT US AND WERE BARELY SCRAPING BY!
Stranger: I VILL PACK MY BAGS AND GO TO MY HOME LAND…..VELL, I AM USED TO IT
Stranger: I NEVER VANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN
You: BUT HELGA I LOVE YOU!
Stranger: YOU TREAT ME LIKE CRAP! MY LEGS ALVAYS ACHE! YOU DONT LOVE ME!
You: I WORK A 19 HOUR SHIFT AT THE STEEL MILL EVERY DAY! IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR A SAMMICH AND SOME PUSSY HELGA? IS IT!!!
Stranger: I TAKE CARE OF OUR SECKS KIDS AND DINNER AND ALL HOUSEHOLD CHORES. I JUST VANT TO SLEEP. YOU DONT LOVE ME, YOU….YOU PIG.
You: AND YOUR GOING TO LEAVE ALL OF US? TO PURSUE YOUR OWN SELFISH DREAMS?!?!?!?! DO YOU THINK I WANTED IT TO TURN OUT THIS WAY HELGA??? DO YOU THINK THIS IS THE WORLD I HAD PLANNED FOR US?
Stranger: MAYBE IF I LEAVE YOU WILL SEE WHAT IT’S LIKE. WHAT IT’S LIKE TO WIPE ASS ALL DAY AND THEN COOK DINNER AND THEN HAVE TOP PUT OUT. I VILL PURSUE THE DREAMS YOU TOOK AWAY FROM ME.
You: YOU DRUNKEN WENCH! IVE SEEN YOU LURKING AROUND TOWN WITH THAT HANDSOME VLADIMIR! ITS HIM ISNT IT??? YOU WHORE!!!
Stranger: HE TREATS ME LIKE A LADY!!!!!!! THE VAY YOU DID VHEN VE FIRST MET. VLADIMIR MAKES ME FEEL ALIVE AGAIN!
You: ILL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A LADY! *SMACKS ACROSS THE FACE*
Stranger: *HOLDS FACE* YOU….YOU BASTARD! YOU’LL REGRET THAT!!!! VLADIMIR VILL MAKE YOU PAY!
You: ID LIKE TO SEE HIM TRY *GRABS AK-47* WHERE IS THAT SMUCK BASTARD?!?!?
Stranger: NOOOO…YOU VON’T HURT MY LAST CHANCE AT FREEDOM!!! *RUNS OUT THE DOOR*
You: *CHASES AFTER YOU SCREAMING* YOU GET BACK HERE YOU SLUT! I WON’T LET YOU LEAVE!
Stranger: *GETS IN CAR WITH VLADIMIR AND DRIVES OFF* GOODBYE YOU PIG!!!!
You: *SHOOTS OUT THE TIRES, CAR SPINS OUT OF CONTROL AND COLLIDES WITH THE STEEL MILL*
Stranger: *GETS BLOWN TO BITS*
You: HAHAHAHA! YOU SINFUL DEMONS SHALL TROUBLE ME NO MORE!
Stranger: *LIES IN A PILE OF RUBBLE*
You: *RIDES MY POLAR BEAR OFF INTO THE WILDS OF SIBERIA IN THE SUNSET*
Stranger: :]
You: :)
You: that was fun
Stranger: twas
You: this is so going on omegleconversations.com lol
Stranger: haha well good :] …the story of Helga and …Brunswick and their 6 kids is a good one
Stranger: haha
You: indeed farewell burning corpse of helga!
Stranger: farewell polar bear riding Brunswick!
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Chase Knight from USA

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (12 votes, score: 4.50)
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Going Backwards Into The Future

March 16th, 2010
No comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Bye.
Stranger: Tits?
Stranger: Hey
Stranger: Bye!?
You: Yes, bye.
You: I want to try and have a conversation backwards.
You: We pretend to know each other very well..
You: Then, as the conversation progresses, we don’t know each other at all.
Stranger: Ok start over
You: Then, we say hi and disconnect.
You: Alright, let’s do this.
You: Bye.
Stranger: Bye:)
You: I have to go now, since I have some stuff to do in the kitchen.
Stranger: Oh ok
You: Yeah, it was awesome, but the thing is.. It was horrible. I didn’t like it. I felt like I was going to fall on the ground and cry. Meh, I guess that’s life.
You: (Try to think of a sentence that would come before the one I said)
You: (It’s like thinking backwards, hard.. I know, but try)
Stranger: So how was meeting will smith
You: Dude, I saw this new movie and there was this man.. and his name was Will Smith. And guess what?! Today, I saw him on the street.
Stranger: What did u do today?
You: Yeah… The food is cool to eat, but not to play with. :/
Stranger: Remember that restaurant I told you about with wieirs food?
You: I love food, it’s great.. I wish I could go to a place that was nice enough.
You: that is*
Stranger: I masturbated with a bannana! Gotta love food!
You: Hahaha.. That’s a funny joke. What else you got?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Polly Wally from Canada

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (8 votes, score: 4.63)
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Dead Rat

March 16th, 2010
No comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hey
Stranger: My pet rat just died, what is a girl to do!
You: Buy a new one?
Stranger: oh my stranger, i must say i am diappointed
Stranger: come to omegle for moral support
Stranger: and this si what you get
You: I am sorry
You: But maybe your dead rat can counsel you?
Stranger: now that’s an ideal
Stranger: how will that work?
You: Well you talk to it
You: And then talk in a little voice pretending to be the rat
Stranger: well that may just work, but if i do that i feel like i will be replacing Mr Tinkles and no one
Stranger: NO ONE
Stranger: replaces mr Tinkles
You: Except Mrs. Tinkles
You: My gerbil replaced my hamster
Stranger: i was Mrs Tinkles!
Stranger: yes it’s legal
Stranger: if you were wondering
Stranger: put him in a little tuxedo and everything, he looked preety divine
Stranger: for a rat
You: Lmfao
You: Did you go to international waters?
You: And get the captain to marry you at the same time as he married a farmer to a cow?
Stranger: oh no we went through the whole “normal legal process” was preety boring, but Tinkles was a devil in bed!
You: Did he stick his little tail into your cheese container?
Stranger: he dont much more than that, the human species?? pfft
Stranger: can learn a few lessons
Stranger: done*
Stranger: if only he was alive
You: Lmfao
You: Well you could always be a narcissist
You: And have sex with his dead body?
Stranger: as much i love Mr Tinkles, dead sex
Stranger: just won’t cut it for me
You: That’s true
You: Buy a new more muscular pet rat
You: That’s what all the rat wives do
Stranger: oh and you would know?
You: No but I hear things
Stranger: ah i see, fair enough. Muscular pet rat, hmm as tempting as that sounds
Stranger: it’s Mr Tinkles
Stranger: or nothing
You: Well maybe change species
You: Get an owl that can change into different specises
You: species*
You: and then he can provide any service
Stranger: that is also very tempting but you are forgetting an important detail, he won’t have Mr Tinkles you know ;-)
You: He could turn into a perfect body copy
Stranger: oh my, well that may just work
Stranger: where can i find one?
You: The black market
You: Go to a pet store and say “the clock strikes midnight” to a parrot
You: He’ll give you directions
Stranger: stranger, you’re amazing. I have been weeping all day and knew that my fellow omeglers would help me
Stranger: you are living proof that omegle works!
You: Well what can I say besides i’m a hero :D
Stranger: *round of applause*
You: *bows*
Stranger: now that my Tinkles situation seems to be over
Stranger: How are you?
You: Pretty good, my gerbil and I get along pretty well
Stranger: nice, gerbil single by any chance?
You: Yup
You: He could be a booty call
Stranger: i like the sounds of that
Stranger: how hot is he, don’t be bias now
Stranger: scale of 1-10
Stranger: 10 beiong the most
You: 9.5
You: He’s a sexy beast
Stranger: oh my, he sounds delicious!
You: Indeed he does :D
Stranger: can i have him?
You: You can borrow him but not have
Stranger: are you gay?!?
You: Nope
You: I just like him :D
Stranger: here was me thinking you swing both way
Stranger: ways*
You: Nope I’m into human girls
Stranger: well that’s unusual
You: Indeed I’m a rebel
Stranger: i can sense that from the screen, i’m getting rebel vibes
You: Yeah i’m so rebelious I ate a mini crisp package today
Stranger: wow you are a rebel, you don’t hold back do you
You: Not at all, yesterday I drank 2 pepsi’s
Stranger: two! well i think you deserve a medal, hold on forget the medal
Stranger: bring on a trophy
You: Exactly
You: Except I would want a certificate to be rebellious
Stranger: you would need to first prove yourself by participating in the annual rebel’s compitition
You: I would purposely screw it up
You: being a rebel and all
Stranger: very smart, keep thinking like that and you are sure to win first prize
You: I would want last place so I could be rebellious
Stranger: hell just don’t take the medal at all
Stranger: just be a rebel
Stranger: and walk out
You: Well I can’t since you told me too
You: I’d have to fly out
Stranger: maybe take a train?
You: I can’t do anything you suggest :’(
You: That would take away from my rebelliousness
Stranger: that would indeed, i shall stop with my suggestions
You: Good >:)
Stranger: good
You: Well I’m going to go strangle a plant
Stranger: strangle one for me
Stranger: or don’t
You: ^^
You: Instead of saying peace, I’ll say Chaos to be a rebel
You: Chaos
Stranger: haha
Stranger: Bye!
You: Hello!
Stranger: Go!
You: Now I can’t
You: you have to leave
Stranger: well that won’t happen
You: I guess we’re stuck here
Stranger: i guess i’m the new rebel
You: Nope
You: I’m the only rebel
Stranger: well i would like to be part of the rebel group
Stranger: what’s needed?
Stranger: i hope the group is not sexist
Stranger: i have female friends
Stranger: with muscles
You: Lmao
Stranger: i must warn you
You: I am not warned
Stranger: fine
Stranger: i have female friends with muscles!
Stranger: with big arses
You: That’s not scary
You: Lmao
Stranger: no when i say big
Stranger: i mean BIG
You: Gross
Stranger: :)
Stranger: they just need to blow wind you your male rebels will go flying
You: I’m the only rebel
You: Like I said
Stranger: you will go flying then
You: Nope
You: I’ll have nailed my feet to the floor
Stranger: they also have big teeth, nails are nothing
You: I’m going to be a rebel and leave in the middle of you saying something :D
You have disconnected.

Submitted by David from Canada

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (6 votes, score: 4.17)
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Son of The Bitch

March 16th, 2010
No comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: HEY
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl
You: are you sure you really want to know?
Stranger: yes
You: what can be seen, cannot be unseen
Stranger: because I want to chat so I m here
You: o
You: ………..
You: 78/t/ca
Stranger: son of the bitch
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by B from Canada

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations, lol what
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (11 votes, score: 4.82)
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