Murder Case
March 17th, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hey
Stranger: Hey how ya doin?
Stranger: Wanna come in, sit down?
You: Yes I would like to. Why did you call me to your office?
Stranger: Well, you see…
Stranger: I found a severed hand in your desk
Stranger: Can you explain yourself?
You: Well I was using some scissors, and Jimmy was being obnoxious and was saying that I couldn’t run faster then him. I happened to forget to put down the scissors and as we were running I tripped and chopped his hand off. He died 3 minutes later. I decided not to file a report due to possible jail time.
Stranger: Well at least you were honest
Stranger: Now…where is his body
Stranger: I need to give my son a proper burial
You: It’s hidden with a passing Asain man called “Yang”, I needed a quick way to dispose of it and he offered to take it off my hands. I believe he used it to make the cantomese chow mein you’re eating…
Stranger: I thought I recognized that ring I found in the mushu pork….
Stranger: that would also explain why my fortune cookie said “Your gonna have the screaming squirts, sucka!”
You: Yes that would make sense, but besides that how’s your very fine wife Mandy?
Stranger: I found her cheating on me with a black person
Stranger: but that’s not the worst part
Stranger: The black person was a woman
You: Wow, was this black woman roughly 5’6 and hairy?
Stranger: Sounds about right
You: That was actually a very top heavy man with a retractable 1 inch penis.
Stranger: well…that will complicate things
Stranger: See, this morning I hired a mafia hitman
Stranger: Who will hunt down and kill all 5’6 black women
Stranger: In the city
Stranger: Which presents a problem
You: Indeed it does, so I guess we’re even about the whole Jimmy thing then?
You: And I know the said hitman, in return for letting him sleep with your wife he’ll quit the job
Stranger: Well, I think that wraps things up in a nice little package
Stranger: That is all
Stranger: That is all
You: Thank you
You: If anything else is required call me on the intercom, the secretary will be busy banging me. But since I’m on the top I’m closest to the intercom
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Submitted by David from Canada
(26 votes, score: 4.54)
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really ingenious, nice one!