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Kidnapping Jesus

March 2nd, 2010
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Is Jesus in our life?
You: no
You: i dont htink so
You: i hope he is in yours
Stranger: My Life? He’s in my basement, chained to the radiator.
You: really?
You: where did u catch him?
Stranger: Yeah. I found him.
You: wait..is that your dog?
Stranger: He used to complain more but he just turns the other cheek now.
Stranger: Sorry, he’s the only son of God. He came back and lo and behold i was the first person he met.
Stranger: Mores the pity.
You: poor fella
You: bumped into you…cudnt control his own destiny eh?
Stranger: No. His powers are greatly exaggerated.
You: ah ha…cud he do any of the magic tricks?
Stranger: He tried to do th water into wine. Turns out it was Ribena.
You: lmao…..
You: so did he say why was he back?
Stranger: Apparently his Dad kicked him out. Told him to get a job.
Stranger: Now he works for me.
You: wht do u make him work on?
Stranger: He keeps up the morale of all my other basement captives.
You: oh…u have other captives?
Stranger: Stephen Hawking, Ben Affleck and Rhea Perlman from Cheers. Among others.
You: stephen hawking…oh why…he’s so ill
Stranger: But he’s not exactly going to escape is he?
You: how wud he escape…poor man can only use 2 fingers
You: btw…how does he wipe his ass?
Stranger: Infrequently judging by the smell and complaints. Jesus doesn’t mind helping.
Stranger: He’s always talking about turning the other cheek.
You: whats so special abt the other cheek anyways?
Stranger: If you don’t know i’m not telling you?
Stranger: Where can i buy Lime?
You: dunno…asking hawking maybe…he’s the bright guy arnd here
Stranger: Batteries ran out two months ago. He doesn’t say much.
You: ah…
You: are u by any means..related to Jigsaw?
Stranger: The wrestler?
Stranger: !!!!!
You: naah
Stranger: ?
You: Jigsaw from the SAW movies
Stranger: ;0
Stranger: :1
You: this conversation is gonna be uploaded on omegleconversations.com :)
Stranger: How does one do that?
You: once we disconnect i’ll save the log n upload
Stranger: Don’t mention that I live in Croydon then.
Stranger: Bakersfield Road.
Stranger: Don’t mention that.
You: yeah…sure…now that u have mentioned it
You: peace out bro
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Ankur from India

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (23 votes, score: 3.91)
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  1. bobthebuilder
    March 3rd, 2010 at 22:21 | #1

    ankur from india eh.. I coulda have sworn you were an interpol officer.