It Rubs The Milk on It’s Skin or Else It Get’s The Hose Again
February 28th, 2010
Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: 12-6 cloud
You: huh?
Stranger: 12-6 cloud?
Stranger: Yes or no?
You: Yes!
You: Absolutely!
Stranger: NO!
You: YES!
Stranger: You lost! :(
You: FUCK
You: What the shit do I do now?
Stranger: >:D
You: TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK TO DO MAN
You: IM FREAKING OUT
Stranger: GET IN THE FRIDGE IMMEDIATELY!
You: WHY
You: WHY MAN
Stranger: YOU KNOW WHY DAMMIT
You: COME ON
You: OKAY OKAY
You: FUCK
You: IM IN THE FRIDGE
You: WHAT NOW
Stranger: NOW
Stranger: CLOSE
Stranger: THE
Stranger: DOOR
You: I ALREADY FUCKING DID
Stranger: O RLY?
You: YA RLY
Stranger: GRAB THE NEARESET CARTON OF MILK AND RUB YOUR FACE WITH IT
You: OKAY OKAY
You: DO I POUR SOME OF IT IN MY FACE TOO
Stranger: NO
You: IT SEEMS LIKE A GOOD IDEA
You: OKAY
You: JUST RUBBING
You: NOW WHAT
Stranger: KEEP ON RUBBING
Stranger: RUB FASTER ASSHOLE!
You: IM RUBBING
You: JESUS CHRIST
You: WHAT DOES THIS DO
Stranger: DON’T PLAY THAT SHIT WITH ME
Stranger: YOU KNOW WHAT IT DOES!
You: JESUS CHRIST OKAY FUCK IM RUBBING
Stranger: STOP!
You: WHAT
Stranger: GET OUT OF THE FRIDGE AND ON THE FLOOR
You: OKAY OKAY
You: FUCK
You: ON THE FLOOR
You: *thump*
Stranger: DO YOU HAVE THE MILK STILL?
You: NO
You: I LEFT IT IN THE FRIDGE MAN
Stranger: GET IT DAMMIT!
You: FUCK FUCK OKAY IM GETTING IT
You: JESUS
You: OKAY I GOT THE MILK
Stranger: FASTER BITCH
Stranger: POUR IT ON THE FLOOR
You: WHAT
You: NEVERMIND
You: IM POURING
You: FUCK
You: WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST POUR MILK ON THE FLOOR FOR?!
Stranger: GO FIND A CAT
You: A CAT
Stranger: A
Stranger: CAT
You: A FUCKING CAT
You: OKAY
You: FUCK
You: I GOT MY CAT
Stranger: SMEAR IT IN THE MILK
You: WHAT
Stranger: I SAID SMEAR IT~!
You: IT WILL NOT LIKE THAT
You: FUCK OKAY
You: SMEARING MY CAT IN MILK
You: JESUS FUCK SHIT
Stranger: STOP SMEARING
You: STOPPED SMEARING
Stranger: TAKE YOUR CAT TO THE NEAREST MARKET
You: BUT I DONT HAVE MY CAR
Stranger: TAKE THE NEIGHBOR’S
You: FUCK
You: OKAY
Stranger: FUCK
You: WHAT
Stranger: YOU’RE RUNNING OUT F TIME
You: HOLY SHIT
You: OKAY
You: TAKING NEIGHBOURS CAR, GOT MY MILK SMEARED CAT
You: DRIVING TO THE MARKET
You: GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY GOD DAMN IT YOU FESTERING CUNT
You: IM HAULING ASS
Stranger: HURRY THE ASS UP!
You: ALMOST THERE
You: FUCK
You: FUCK FUCK FUCK
You: I JUST RAN OVER THAT FUCKING KID
You: JESUS FUCK
Stranger: YOU’RE LOSING TIME
You: NEARLY THERE
You: THERE!
You: NOW WHAT
You: COME ON
Stranger: CLIMB ON THE ROOF
You: WITH THE CAT?!
Stranger: YES
You: WTF I ONLY HAVE TWO HANDS
You: FUCK
You: OKAYU
You: CLIMBING
You: JESUS
You: SHIT
Stranger: HOLY FUCK CLIMP
Stranger: *CLIMB
You: NOW WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO
Stranger: HOLD YOUR CAT UP IN THE AIR AND WAIT FOR IT TO RAIN
You: WHAT
You: BUT
You: IT COULD TAKE HOURS
Stranger: I DON’T GIVE A FUCK
You: SHIT
You: OKAY
You: FUCK OKAY
You: HOLDING UP MY CAT
Stranger: IS IT RAINING YET
You: STOP SCRATCHING ME YOU FUCKING PIECE OF FUCK
You: NO
You: NOT YET
Stranger: FUCKBALLS
You: FUCK
You: WAIT
You: I FELT A DROP
Stranger: WAIT TILL IT RAINS
You: ANOTHER ONE
You: WHAT
You: IT FUCKING RAINS
You: BUT I DIN’T EVEN-
Stranger: GET OFF THE ROOF
You: OKAY
You: GETTING OFF THE ROOF
You: DOWN
You: NOW WHAT
You: FUCKING HELL MAN HURRY THE SHITBALLS UP
Stranger: STOP WAISTING TIME
Stranger: SHIT
You: IM WAITING FOR YOU
You: WHAT THE SHIT DO I DO NOW
Stranger: GO IN THE STORE AND LAY DOWN
Stranger: GET IN THERE QUICK
You: OKAY
You: FUCK
You: GETTING IN THERE
You: LAYING DOWN
You: NOW WHAT
You: FUCK
Stranger: WHAT THE HELL
Stranger: GET OFF THE FUCKING FLOOR
You: WHAT
Stranger: GET UP
You: BUT YOU SAID-
You: OKAY FUCK
You: NOW WHAT
Stranger: RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN OUTSIDE
You: WHY DID I EVEN GO INSIDE MAN
Stranger: RUN SHITFUCK
You: IM RUNNING
Stranger: JUMP
Stranger: IN
Stranger: THE
Stranger: MANHOLE
You: WHAT
Stranger: JUMP IN THE MANHOLE
You: FUCK
You: WHATS A MANHOLE
Stranger: THE HOLE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET
You: OKAY FUCK
You: *splash*
You: NOW WHAT
Stranger: RUN TROUGH THE LEFT TUNNEL
Stranger: *THROUGH
Stranger: DAMN IT
You: RUNNING
You: FUCK
Stranger: HURRY
You: INTERSECTION
You: WHERE DO I GO
Stranger: FORWARD
You: THERE IS NO FORWARD
Stranger: SHIT
You: WHAT
You: SHIT WHAT
Stranger: RUN BACKWARD
You: FUCK OKAY
Stranger: MOTHERBITCH YOUR GOING TOO SLOW
You: IM GOING AS FAST AS I CAN
You: FUCK
You: OW BITCH
You: I HIT MY HEAD
Stranger: I DON’T GIVE A WET FUCK
Stranger: HEAD RIGHT
You: RIGHT
You: OKAY
You: FUCK
You: HOLY SHIT
You: WHERE
You: DO
You: I
You: GO
Stranger: GET YOUR ASSBALLS UP THE LADDER ON THE WALL
You: GOING UP
You: FUCK
Stranger: DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR CAT
You: YES
Stranger: ARE YOU UP THE FUCKING LADDER
You: FUCK YES
Stranger: GET YOUR ASS IN THE CHINESE RESTURANT
You: BUT ITS CLOSED
You: ITS A FUCKING SUNDAY
Stranger: BREAK A WINDOW
You: IM GONNA HAVE TO BREAK A WINDOW
You: FUCK
You: OKAY
You: *smash*
You: IM IN
You: WHAT NOW FUCK HURRY UP MAN
Stranger: GO THROUGH THE RED DOOR
You: RED DOOR RIGHT
You: JESUS
Stranger: GO IN THE BASEMENT
You: FUCKING BASEMENT
You: OKAY
Stranger: DO YOU HAVE THE CHOPSTICKS
You: WHAT CHOPSTICKS
Stranger: SHITBALLS
You: FUCK
You: I SAW SOME ON THE DESK UPSTAIRS
You: ILL GO GET THEM
You: FUCK
Stranger: FASTER
You: IM GOING AS FAST AS I CAN
You: GOT THEM’
You: FUCKING CHOPSTICKS
You: IN THE BASEMENT
Stranger: BACK IN THE BASEMENT
You: TELL ME WHAT TO DO
Stranger: STICK THEM THROUGH THE FUCKING WALL
You: BUT ITS MADE OF CONCRETE
You: FUCK
Stranger: DAMN
You: STABBING THE WALL
You: NOW WHAT
Stranger: OPEN THE WALL
You: WITH THE CHOPSTICKS?
Stranger: NO WITH YOUR FACE YES THE CHOPSTICKS
You: OKAY JESUS FUCK
You: OPENING THE WALL
You: THERE’S A FUCKING AMUSEMENT PARK
You: WHAT THE SHIT
You: INSIDE THE WALL
You: BUT I DIDN’T EVEN-
You: FUCK
You: WHERE DO I GO MAN
Stranger: SHUT UP AND RUN
You: JESUS
You: RUNNING
You: FUCK
You: WHERE TO
Stranger: THE MERRY GO ROUND
You: WHERE TO GOD DAMN IT YOU INBRED FUCK
You: FUCKIN HELL
You: OKAY
Stranger: GET YOUR SHIT ON THAT CARACELL
You: IM ON IT
You: IM FUCKING ON IT JEWBALLS
You: FUCK
Stranger: DO YOU STILL HAVE THE CHOPSTICKS ASSHIT
You: YES
You: FUCK
Stranger: STICK THEM IN THE RED HORSE’S EYES
You: THERE IS NO RED HORSE
You: FUCK
You: YES THERE IS
You: I SEE IT
You: STABBING IT IN THE EYE
You: FUCK
Stranger: KEEP STABBING
You: JESUS CHRIST OKAY
You: WHY THE FUCK AM I STABBING A FAKE HORSE
You: IN THE EYES
Stranger: FUCK
You: WITH CHOPSTICKS
Stranger: YOU ONLY HAVE THREE MINUTES
You: JESUS SHIT HURRY THE FUCK UP
You: WHAT DO I DO
Stranger: GET ON THE HORSE
You: OKAY FUCK IM ON IT
Stranger: WAIT
Stranger: .
Stranger: .
You: WHAT
Stranger: .
Stranger: IS IT ALIVE YET
You: WHAT THE FUCK MAN
You: NO
You: ITS A FUCKING FAKE HOR-
You: WAIT A LITTLE
You: FUCK
You: IT’S TEARING FROM THE FUCKING CARUCELL
You: JESUS SHIT WHAT THE HELL
You: FUCK FUCK FUCK
You: ITS ALIVE
Stranger: RIDE THAT ASSFUCK INTO THE ROLLER COASTER
You: OKAY
You: FUCK
Stranger: THIRTY SECONDS JEWBALLS
You: SHIIIIITFUCK
You: IM ON THE ROLLER COASTER
You: I DONT WANNA DIE
Stranger: GOOD
Stranger: THEN
Stranger: JUMP OFF
You: WHAT
You: BUT ITS GOING AT LEAST 140 MPH
Stranger: JUMP OFF THE ROLLER COASTER YOU LITTLE SHIT YOU ONLY HAVE TEN SECONDS
You: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
You: FUCKING FUCK
You: I BROKE MY FUCKING LEG
You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH
Stranger: 5 SECONDS
Stranger: DIG A HOLE
You: WHAT
You: OKAY
You: DIGGING
You: FUCK
You: FUKC
You: FUCK
You: JESUS FUCK
Stranger: ARE YOU IN YOUR FRIDGE?
You: WHAT?
Stranger: ARE YOU IN YOUR FRIDGE ?
Stranger: SHIT
You: FUCK
You: YES
You: YES I AM
You: WHAT THE SHIT
You: AND MY LEG IS OKAY
You: IS IT OVER
You: IS IT FUCKING OVER GOD DAMN IT TELL ME
Stranger: YES
Stranger: FUCK…
You: … I really don’t know what just happened… but.. but.. I think.. I think I need to cry a little.
Stranger: Free at last…
Stranger: You did it… you won the game…
You: I WON THE FUCKING GAME?
Stranger: YOU
Stranger: WON
Stranger: THE
Stranger: GAME
You: *dies from overexcitement*
Stranger: Shit.
Stranger: It’s all over, finally.
Stranger: 12 – 6 cloud?
You: … no.
Stranger: WHAT THE FU-
Stranger: MY ROOF IS GONE
You: Man
You: calm down
You: breathe with me
Stranger: What do I do?!
You: inhaaaaale
You: exhaaaaaale
You: breathe
You: one more time
You: ready?
Stranger: *inhaaale*
You: inhaaaale
You: exhaaaaaale
Stranger: *inhaaaale*
Stranger: *exhaaaaaale*
You: that feels better doesn’t it?
Stranger: Yes….
Stranger: But you answered the question wrong again!!!!
You: Well sir, of that I’m sorry.
Stranger: Do you know what that means…
You: But I must thank you for being a part of the most random conversation I have ever been a part of.
You: It was truly an interesting, joyful, but slightly disturbing experience.
Stranger: I must thank you for saving the ca-… what did ever happen to your cat?
You: God fucking knows, man.
You: God fucking knows.
You: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAA *CSI Miami tune*
You have disconnected.
Submitted by Mathias from Norway
(116 votes, score: 4.63)
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bwahahah i love convo’s like that … it makes me proud that there really are other freaks like me in the world :)
christ its like reading a book
Hahahaha…. thats the most awesomiest convo ever !!!
hahahahahahah that was so good i wish i could have a conversation like that! that was so amusing!
Buaha, Epic.
ahaaaa me and sophie just read this together and could not stop laffin. you must have pissed yourself writting this funny stuff guys =D xx
Pahahahhaahhahaha!
That’s insane!
*slowly claps until it builds up into a roar of applause*
This is by far the best conversation I have read!
That was amazing. I havnt read so much cussing at once in my whole life but screw that it was amazing.
i have never laughed so hard in my life. literally crying. the cat, it gets me every time.
Wow. That was probably the best thing I have read.