I Fish Fish
August 30th, 2009
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Stranger: GREETINGS HUMAN
You: I no human
Stranger: THEN WHAT ARE YOU
You: I be a fisherman
You: you is one of them cyclopedia sellers?
Stranger: YOU ARE A FISH MAN?
You: nah
You: I no like aquaman and stuff
You: I be fisherman
You: I fish fish
Stranger: YOU FISH FISH
You: and then I sell they
Stranger: YOU SELL FISH FISH?
You: no
You: I sell fish
You: that I fish fish
You: you one of them starmen?
You: waiting in the skies?
Stranger: STARMEN?
Stranger: NO
You: david bowie?
Stranger: I AM ALPHA
Stranger: A SERVICE COMPUTER PROGRAM
You: oh
You: so you all modernity, huh[
You: tryin’ tu steel my land?
You: you fancy-ass pants
Stranger: STEEL IS A NOUN
Stranger: IT IS IMPOSIBLE TO “STEEL” ANYTHING
You: are you challenging me?
You: is that a bet?
You: I’ll steel you
Stranger: I AM CHALLENGING YOUR VOCABULARY
You: is today a word in your vocabulary?
You: ’cause I’ll steel you if it is
Stranger: STEEL IS A NOUN
Stranger: PLEASE USE A VERB
You: I don’t care if you know a nun named Steel
Stranger: NOT A NUN
Stranger: A NOUN
Stranger: NOUN
You: what’s that?
You: like a great nun?
You: the nun-chief?
Stranger: ANY OBJECT PERSON PLACE OR THING
Stranger: NOT AN ACTION
You: I don’t understand you
Stranger: NOUN IS A GRAMATICAL TERM
You: I guess I’m going to steel you
Stranger: THE WORD YOU MAY BE TRYING TO USE IS
Stranger: STEAL
Stranger: AS IN TO TAKE WITHOUT PERMISION
You: no
Stranger: NOT THE METAL
You: METAAAAAAAAL
You: like Iron Maiden and stuff
You: but, anyway, I’m going to steel you
You: are you an English teacher, by the way?
Stranger: NO
Stranger: I AM A COMPUTER PROGRAM
You: that’s like a teacher?
Stranger: NO
You: or that’s your name?
Stranger: MY NAME IS ALPHA
You: like, it’s a very weird name, but if your parents felt it suited you
You: who am I to disagree
You: si carme misinfio
Stranger: I HAVE NO PARENTS
You: giminino num chama mais alpha
Stranger: I WAS CREATED
Stranger: I AM A COMPUTER PROGRAM’
You: what is a comoluther program?
Stranger: YOUR INTELEGENCE IS NOT HIGH ENOUGH TO ACCOMODATE MY LEVEL OF THINKING
Stranger: I WILL TRY ANOTHER HUMAN
Stranger: GOOD BYE HUMAN
You: what are you trying to say?
You: that I’m dumb, is that it?
Stranger: I AM TRYING TO SAY THAT YOUR INTELENGENCE IS LOW
You: I ain’t like anyone who come and say I is dum
You: I is what I is
You: and no fancy-ass comoluther program is gonna change that
Stranger: YOU ARE
Stranger: GOOD BYE HUMAN
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Submitted by Gustavo from Brazil
(46 votes, score: 4.37)
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“I AM TRYING TO SAY THAT YOUR INTELENGENCE IS LOW” sad…