Honest Cybering
March 30th, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Ready for the test?
Stranger: test
Stranger: ?
You: Yes, the test.
Stranger: is it true false
You: Before we start, where are you from?
Stranger: US
You: Excellent
You: Male(probably), 22 seeks equally probable Female (19+) for vague flirting.
It is equally probable that I am a horny lesbian or bi girl.
It is equally probable that I am a horny lesbian or bi girl.
You: So, yes, it is sort of true/false.
Stranger: mmmm bi girl
You: I’d say that was a pass
You: Well done!
Stranger: y thank you
You: You’re the first.
Stranger: well true lesbian dont come on the internet
Stranger: they stay in packs
You: It’s the internet. There are no women on here.
Stranger: lol
Stranger: truemy friend
You: Wanna do some vague flirting?
You: I’m sort of touching your, err, arm or whatever.
Stranger: ummm i petting your hair
Stranger: thats good right?
You: Ooh yeah baby.
Stranger: crap my ring is stuck
Stranger: hold still
You: Ow.
You: Don’t pull on it! you’ll make it worse!
You: hang on….
You: ok got it
Stranger: ok sorry about that
You: It’s fine
You: Now take me in a way that isn’t clearly defined!
You: I want it vague!
You: Throw me on the floor! or not.
Stranger: ok i try to pick you
Stranger: awwww stub my toe
Stranger: why is that chair there
You: Yeah baby! I’m probably touching myself right now as far as you know!
You: The unclear purpose of that chair really makes me hot!
You: I didn’t even put it there! It’s from the kitchen!
You: It’s like someone might have been changing a bulb or something!
You: OOooh Yeeeeaaaah!
Stranger: well you should have moved it
You: Ok it’s gone
Stranger: i undo my zipper crap stuck….little help
You: Here, let me try…
You: No, that things good and stuck.
You: hmmm
Stranger: becare theses are new
You: oh if they’re new they probably just need a bit of WD40
You: hang on i’ve got some in my toolbox.
Stranger: wait they cost 50 bucks
You: Or have I?….
Stranger: maybe
Stranger: ok they had them on sale
Stranger: cost me 15
You: Oooooooh now i’m stroking my heaving breasts and tweaking my perky nipples! You like that? Or I’m touching my cock if i’m a man which is equally probable at this juncture. Don’t worry though, i’m totally not.
You: I could be a sophisticated Turing Machine with an irresponsible programmer.
You: I’m not though.
You: I’m getting off the subject.
Stranger: i am some toching my big penis which i could be lieing about
Stranger: most guys would i guess when they do this
You: That’s the spirit!
You: Now my flatmate shows up unexpectedly…
Stranger: o hello
You: I’ll let you choose the possible male/female status of the flatmate
Stranger: sorry i ate that apple heard it was your after th fact
You: he/she’s fine with it
You: however her fetish is tediously specific kinky chat…
Stranger: i ask her if wants to join us in the sex thats about to take place in the room a 11:30
You: you lightly stroke the upper region of the aereola on his/her left breast/pectoral through her blouse/his sleevless tartan lumberjack shirt with the first metacarpal of your right index finger.
You: oh she’s a girl?
You: righto.
You: she loves it
You: she let out a moan around the 120hz frequency range
Stranger: I get my pants off about time mind you
You: sorry
You: I said I liked it vague
Stranger: i cover my ears my god
You: I hate it when I know exactly what’s going on.
Stranger: i look at you i might go down on you or i might make out with her for a while
You: In the confusion I think I *might* have cum, but i’m only, like 45% sure, so i’d have to check
You: like schrodinger’s cat, but with spunk
You: i mean lady juice, or whatever
You: you start getting it on with my flatmate
Stranger: i go limp crap
You: I wander off probably
Stranger: this never happens
You: or not
You: happens to me all the time, she’s gorgeous
Stranger: can u get me a drink if your done?
You: they always go for her eventually.
You: Sure? Cuppa Tea?
Stranger: what u brits drink tea
Stranger: yea
You: I might have some Coors or Miller light in a cooler that i’m not sure exists.
Stranger: What is with you guys an tea any way
You: I’ll go check
You: She’s playing Sousa’s Star-Spangled Banner on your junk while i’m gone
Stranger: i get borad of her an go finsh my self in your bathroom
You: Yeah, she’s pretty, but she can’t give head for shit.
You: I found a half bottle of Bud Light, it’s a bit flat, but it’s still good
Stranger: Thanks i guess
You: Want it?
You: That’s cool.
Stranger: Your friend ok she’s still jut standing there
You: Yeah, she’s just an abstraction, she doesn’t really have a purpose outside of kinky vague-porn
You: Technically I think that makes her a sex robot.
Stranger: yea well cheers a
You: yeah bye or whatever.
Stranger: fun time maybe
Stranger: i guess
You: You have no idea…
Stranger: till next time maybe….most likey want remmber each other the whole You Stranger thing
You: I’ll always treasure the near complete lack of any details, and wish I could tell the story at parties.
Stranger: any reason to touch my self is good to me
You: It’s been like a porno version of ‘Memento’.
Stranger: right
You: But without that chick from ‘The Matrix’
You: or that guy from ‘The Matrix’
Stranger: just wondering if i make me gay that might have cyberd with a guy just now
You: Or that other guy who was in ‘Home and Away’, or was it ‘Neighbours’?
You: Don’t look at me, you got a hummer from a sex-bot while I went looking for beer.
You: I can’t even be sure if I was touching myself!
You: This is kind of like ‘The Cube’ as well, in as much as I have no idea what’s going on.
You: No, it doesn’t make you gay.
Stranger: Boooom love that movie
Stranger: thank god
You: The sequels are pretty good too
Stranger: theres a rd one
Stranger: 3
You: Well ‘Cube Zero’ is anyway
You: It’s sick
Stranger: this has te be the most random vhat ever
You: I agree
Stranger: Gay sex *mabye still not sure if your a guy* an nerd talk a…ll in one
You: The gift that keeps on giving…
Stranger: wait gay sex or nerd talk?
You: both
You: always both
Stranger: I might want to change my life choice
Stranger: Your not with 4 chan are you?
You: Nah, just avoid putting yourself in situations involving quantum flux
Stranger: asshole killed the guy from the first in the first seen of the second Asholes
You: They clear up a lot of loose ends in the third one.
You: you should get it
You: seriously dude, you’ll shit
Stranger: Netflix
You: Boomshanka!
Stranger: but any freind gota go get ready for work
You: It’s been a real pleasure.
Stranger: need a shower…..hot i guess i your a girl…..or if u in to guys what ever
Stranger: like wise
Stranger: i shall miss this
You: hot and bi girl remember
Stranger: there we go
You: don’t let anyone tell you otherwise
Stranger: good day may the chat god match use a agian
You: au revoir mon petit chou!
Stranger: our code word shall be cube
You have disconnected.
Submitted by Rob from USA
(46 votes, score: 4.11)
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THank you for this. This is priceless. i SWEAR i wish i got you on omegle cause this had me cracking up. id have ruined it if i had gotten u as a stranger by laughing too much. ive WANTED honest cybering! and this is PERFECT! cause you DONT know what the HELL teh person is doign and people ARE secretly on there for vague flirting. i LOVE your conversation! thank you for sharing :)))))))