Family Matters
September 22nd, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: honey, could you pass me some more of the blanket, im freezing!
You: *passes blanket*
Stranger: thats better
Stranger: its really cold in here, can i cuddle up to you?
You: oh, please do :)
Stranger: :)
Stranger: you’re so warm
You: mind if i turn on some music?
Stranger: yeah, i wont be able to sleep otherwise :(
You: alright, what do you wanna listen to?
You: although… we don’t NEED to sleep…
Stranger: I’m sorry honey, you know I’ve been doing longer shifts and don’t get time to relax
You: it’s alright
You: how about some pink floyd?
You: i know just the song to relieve some stress
Stranger: ok
You: *so you thought you might like to go to the show*
You: *to feel the warmth of confusion, that space cadet glow*
You: is that good?
Stranger: its not bad
You: *well i’ve got bad news for you sunshine, pink isn’t well, he stayed back at the hotel*
You: it gets better don’t worry
You: *and they sent us along as a surrogate band, we’re gonna find out where you fans really stand*
You: here it comes
You: *are there any queers in the theater tonight? put them up against the wall*
You: *AGAINST. THE. WALL*
You: *and that one in the spotlight, he don’t look right to me, put him up against the wall*
You: *AGAINST. THE. WALL*
You: *and that one looks jewish! and that one’s a coon! who let all this riff raff into the room?*
Stranger: I dont like this
You: *theres one smokin a joint! and another with spots! if i had my way, i’d have all of them shot*
Stranger: turn it off
You: ok, sorry babe
You: it’s satire though, the songs actually against fascism….
Stranger: but i’m trying to sleep
You: Ok, how about some mgmt?
You: oh good, you fell asleep. i knew it would work.
You: shit, you woke up
You: oh good.
You: now to take pictures….
You: *shutter*
You: *shutter*
You: ooh, these are good
Stranger: what are you doing?
You: oh shi-
You: uh, i was just looking at some pictures i took… uh… at the park earlier, why?
Stranger: i saw flashes
Stranger: and what were you doing at the park today?
You: uh, honey, i’m pretty sure those were headlights. and you need more sleep
Stranger: you said you finished late from work
You: i went for a walk for my lunch break, ok? what’s with all the questioning?
Stranger: ok
Stranger: fine
Stranger: whatever
You: look, i’m sorry. it’s just….
You: you’re being confrontational. you know you get like that when you’re tired.
You: i’ll shut the blinds, you won’t see any more headlights.
Stranger: the blinds are already shut, what is with you tonight?
You: well where did the f**king lights come from then? aliens? i’ll be honest i didnt even see lights, i think you’re overtired.
Stranger: well, you have a camera in your hand
Stranger: maybe you..
You: maybe it went off by accident or something…?
You: what would i be using it for? taking pictures of that tiny little thing?
Stranger: dont get me started
Stranger: i told you, ive had a busy day
You: alright, go to bed then.
You: you weren’t working late, you just were up late last night partying with your friends. i was working late.
You: dont get ME started
Stranger: please
Stranger: im really tired
Stranger: i told you, after work we went for a few drinks
Stranger: thats all
You: mhm. sure. and what about THIS *holds up ziploc bag full of kush* that i found in your pocket? i wasn’t gonna say anything, but…
Stranger: erm…
Stranger: erm..
Stranger: thats not…
Stranger: thats not mine, its paul’s
Stranger: he gave them to me to mind
You: :’( you told me you’d stopped.
Stranger: i had
Stranger: i’d never lie to you sweetie
You: ok, well your lazy ass sleeps… i’m going to cvs. and i’m gonna get a drug test
You: you better drink a LOT of water, mister.
Stranger: baby, you can test me, but im telling you the truth
Stranger: i didn’t have any
You: we’ll see about that, you fucking prick.
You: *leaves*
You: *slams door*
Stranger: baby, dont leave
Stranger: “runs after you*
Stranger: *grabs your arm*
You: OW
Stranger: baby, please, listen to me
You: you fucker!
You: that fucking hurt!
Stranger: im sorry
Stranger: please listen to me
You: i’m calling the police…
You: *dials*
You: hello?
You: yes, my ex-boyfriend is trying to kill me with a giant fucking knife.
Stranger: *disconnects for you*
Stranger: listen to me
You: 461 pl-
You: WHAT THE FUCK?
Stranger: listen
You: NO!
You: *runs*
Stranger: baby please
You: RAAPE!
You: *whistle*
You: *whistle*
Stranger: fuck this
You: *whistle*
Stranger: ive had it with yoyu
You: OW HE JUST HIT ME EVERYONE
Stranger: *goes back to bedroom*
You: SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE
Stranger: *opens draw*
You: =’(!
You: OH SHI-
Stranger: *pulls out gun*
Stranger: *points it to my head*
You: HEEEEEELLPPPPPPPPPPPPP
You: noooo
You: NO
You: DONT DO IT
Stranger: yes
You: DON’T FUCKING DO IT
You: I’LL STAY
Stranger: i cant take it anymore
You: PLEASE
You: DON’T
Stranger: you dont trust me
You: I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU
You: I DO, ALRIGHT? I DO!
Stranger: you dont
You: JUST… DON’T DO ANYTHING DRASTIC.
You: I BELIEVE THAT IT WAS PAUL’S WEED!
You: I BELIEVE THAT YOU ONLY HAD A FEW DRINKS!
You: AND YES, I WAS TAKING PICTURES OF YOUR PENIS WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING!
You: MY GAY SECRETARY PAYS ME FOR THEM!
You: oh shi-
You: *runs*
Stranger: fine, shes gone
Stranger: i miss her
Stranger: :(
You: *comes back*
You: baby?
You: you alright?
Stranger: …
You: i have a surprise for you ;)
Stranger: …
You: you’ll like it :) just let me back in :)
You: :)
You: seriously :)
You: it’ll make you feel sooo much better :)
You: :)
Stranger: what is it?
You: oh, you’ll see. can i come in? :)
You: :)
Stranger: ….
Stranger: ok
You: *steps in slowly, one hand behind my back*
You: :)
You: …..
You: >:O DIE FUCKER! *stab stab stab stab stab*
You have disconnected.
Submitted by Tom from USA
(91 votes, score: 4.66)
Loading ...
haha this reminds me of me and my ex girlfriend sadly…. except she never got the knife…
and we always ended up doing things instead