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Archive for the ‘Spy Mode Conversations’ Category

Purple Ham Wallet

December 8th, 2011

You’re now watching two strangers discuss your question!

Question to discuss:
Have you ever had a reoccurring dream? What was it?

Stranger 2: i was fucking a blonde guy

Stranger 1: I was in a vast ocean of orange, under a purple sky

Stranger 1: As I swam across the stinging waves, I came to an island of tranparent crystal, glowing a soft white

Stranger 1: I stepped onto its smooth, cool shore and stared in awe at your mom as she beckoned me to her vast, stinking vagina

Stranger 1: As I rammed my swollen man meat into her purple ham wallet, I felt at peace

Stranger 1: This happened several nights in a row

Stranger 1: your mother is hard to make orgasm

Stranger 2: nice ;))

Stranger 2 has disconnected

Submitted by Devin from USA

Author: Categories: Spy Mode Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (39 votes, score: 2.87)
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Fountain of Youth

December 5th, 2011

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Question to discuss:
how old are you?

You: 19.

You: Years, that is.

Stranger: younger

Stranger: ??

You: 19 years younger, yes.

You: Than I was.

Stranger: no

You: Yes! I drank from the accursed chalice of the needle maiden, which restored my youth eternally at the cost of dulled sensation

You: leading me to pursue pleasure in more and more extreme practices, until not even the most perverse and violent acts can give me true satisfaction.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Jeff from Sweden

Author: Categories: Spy Mode Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (27 votes, score: 3.96)
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The Occasional Squirrel

December 5th, 2011

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Question to discuss:
Ever done anything sexual in public?

You: um.

You: no.

You: wait

Stranger: no

You: does having sex with an animal count?

Stranger: i think it does

Stranger: :P

You: oh

You: well in that case, yes

You: many a time

Stranger: with which animal did you have?

Stranger: your pet?

You: animals*

You: ducks

Stranger: ??

You: otters ;)

You: the occasional squirrel.

Stranger: you m/f??

Stranger: how can you have sex with a squirrel??

Stranger: :O

You: think about it.

You: try it.

You: you’ll like it ;)

Stranger: ??

Stranger: is it even possible?

You: don’t tell me you’ve never thought of that..

You: the wet dreams

You: ;)

You: all nutty.

Stranger: never thought of having it with a squirrel

Stranger: so you m or f?

You: oh

You: well that’s just fucking weird man.

You have disconnected.

Submitted by Diane from USA

Author: Categories: Spy Mode Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (23 votes, score: 3.61)
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Official Omegle Grammar Corrector

December 5th, 2011

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Question to discuss:
What’s the best football team in the world? (IT’S NOT CALLED SOCCER!)

Stranger: COLTS

You: IT’S CALLED…

You: OMEGLE POLICE FORCE *TAN HUT*

You: YOU ARE ALL UNDER ARREST!

Stranger: *Holds hands up*

You: *checks you to see if you are armed*

Stranger: I’m on probation though! I can’t afford to get arrested officer!

You: What are you doing here stranger?!

You: At the scene of the crime?!

Stranger: Looking around to correct people on their idiotic questions or statements or whatever the bloody hell its called these days on Omegle.

You: Hmm… do you have an ID to prove you are an Official Omegle Grammar Corrector?

Stranger: I don’t recall doing anything bad! *Shows ID* I’m just a simple Grammar Nazi is all. Nothing serious.

You: Hmmm… what to do… he’s a grammar nazi, not a corrector…

You: *phones boss*

Stranger: Grammar Nazi **

You: Hey boss, got a grammar nazi here. what do I do with him?

You: (is he armed?)

Stranger: Grammar Nazi **

You: No.

You: (let him go uncharged)

You: OK. Grammar Nazi you’re free to go.

Stranger: WOOOOO!

You: BUT FIRST!

You: TELL ME…

Stranger: I’m free mothuh-fucka!

You: who’s Tom!

Stranger: I have no idea who that idiot is!

Stranger: I’ve corrected him also

You: Ok, you may go.

Stranger: Yay!

You: WAIT!

Stranger: ?

You: Show me your ID again!

Stranger: *Shows ID again*

You: Ok all in order. You may go.

You: WAIT!

Stranger: Yay!

Stranger: *Sighs*

You: *troll face*

Stranger: *Troll face back*

Stranger: Trolololol

Stranger: :>

You: trololol bro

You have disconnected.

Submitted by Andre from Spain

Author: Categories: Spy Mode Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (34 votes, score: 3.88)
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Male Gallus Domesticus

December 5th, 2011

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Question to discuss:
I like sucking cock.

You: Fascinating.

Stranger: Quite.

You: My life has just improved exponentially having read this “question”.

Stranger: One must wonder if a particular type of cock is preferential to the Original Poster.

You: Perhaps we are in fact expressing an assumed perversion about the Original Poster.

Stranger: I would imagine one that is smaller than his or her own as to not intimidate. Unfortunately, that limits the choices to penis’ of a size less than 2.5 inches.

You: Perhaps the Original Poster is in fact a fan of male Gallus domesticus.

You: Then again, I quite approve of your theory.

Stranger: I see the validity in your argument, but with no way to prove it, we are merely suffering from conjecture on both sides. Sort of how like OP enjoys his sex life.

You: Touche, touche.

You: Then again, is there any means of proving an Original Poster’s motive?

Stranger: Now you bring up a fantastic point. We could attempt to solve the question at hand without actually trying to solve the question. I do enjoy a proper riddle old boy.

You: Or even our own? For we have, in fact, shown the maximum interest in the OP’s sex life that the poor chap has ever experienced.

Stranger: Oh! Here, here. I’ll have to go purchase some ointment for that poor chap if you keep those burns up.

You: The poor chap, indeed.

You: Well, I must depart. I have just wasted three minutes of my life discussing the mating rituals of a lonely eunuch, and there is science to be done.

Stranger: Well good sir. I must be off. Cavier does not eat itself.

Stranger: I hope to see you in the Apeture Labs later.

You: It was simply spiffing theorisizing with you. Perhaps we may discuss the GLaDOS software update over lunch?

Stranger: Sounds like a plan. I bid you adieu.

You: Farewell, old bean. Toodleoo.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by You from USA

Author: Categories: Spy Mode Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (33 votes, score: 4.27)
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