Omegle Conversations

You: why

You: whoa. how did you know i was a girl?

You: ha that was a bit weird….but i suppose you have a 50/50 chance

You: Rain

You: haha, would they now

You: i take it you always ask that question then?

You: i know what it is lol

You: 20

You: yessir

You: lol

You: christian

You: well i’m in college now….but i attended private school my whole life

You: ya

You: just high school though

You: ha what are you? some kind of psychiatrist?

You: okay. you either made that statement either because 1) you are really weird 2) you’re still weird and are trying to freak me out 3)

You: haha

You: 3). you are kind of awesome for trolling

You: how old are you?

You: i kind of doubt that a person named wolf is writing a book on purity and marital responsibility

You: are you native american?

You: okay…

You: well i’ve never been pregnant or been in jail

You: hmm never had that question phrased such like that

You: but no

You: what do you mean eaten

You: no why would anybody want this?

You: its like asking if somebody wants to give you all his posessions

You: probability seems vanishingly low

You: do you not agree

You: so

You: why are you even trying?

You: i dont see the relation

You: well maybe i am something similar

You: no i mean maybe i am a state official

You: maybe we got contracts with omegle and your ip is currently monitored

You: maybe you talked yourself into serious problems

You: just maybe

You: the really fun part is that this doesn’t make a difference to us

You: hi

You: male, yourself?

You: What are you doing out of the kitchen?

You: Yes they do, or on their hands an knees cleaning the floor

You: I mean food won’t cook itself nor will the house clean itself

You: The Only Degrees Women Need Are 30°C For Washing and 200°C For Cooking

You: Remember that

You: and I feel sorry for the guy who has to beat sense in to you

You: his arm will ache after awhile

You: America LOL.. Sorry I couldn’t hear your silly views over my free health care

You: I am a cigarette?

You: I may be a “fag” as you call it, but at least my country isn’t the un wanted child of the world

You: The country that gave you the language you try and speak, yet manage to fuck up……

You: Yeah I must be..

You: Yeah yeah, I agree with you woman.. Hope you feel happy now and stop menstruating long enough to get me some food

You: What you want to do and what you will do are two very different things

You: few black eyes and I am sure you will be singing a new tune

You: Yeah well tl;dr, and well punctuation is really usefull when trying to make a “bold” statement like you have tried to. Maybe you should ask your master if you can get some basic education. Nothing major as we don’t want tax payers money being wasted on a woman that isn’t learn about cooking or cleaning

You: Awww poor lickle woman getting mad because the man is correct? awwwwwwww

You: And it’s arrogant

You: I am not arrogant, I am just better than you

You: I am sorry to say I am

You: I mean you can’t have woman, without man in it.. So dependant on us

You: Adam being a MAN.. So you just prove my point thanks. I am 22, you?

You: Guess your father needs to beat you harder

You: if my child was as disrespectful as you are towards a man.. You would have black eyes to show for it

You: why does beyonce sing “to the left”?

You: hi

You: ok

You: hi, i’m steve and i’m fat

You: today i ate 153 pancakes

You: now i just finished eating a sandwich

You: i knooow

You: but we finished chocolate and i didn’t want to go buy it

You: fries

You: and popcorns

You: and a lot of sweeties

You: i’d like a pie

You: but i’m full for now

You: wait

You: ok now i have a bit more place for some cheese

You: my mum gave me a pear to eat and i put it in the trashbin

You: i want fucking chocolate

You: why doesn’t she go buying it

You: a teenager

You: i want chocolare

You: *chocolate

You: and marshmellows

You: CRAP

You: i finished eating my sandwich

You: nope i don’t want to leave my food here alone

You: first i finish eating it

You: wait a minute

You: gulped down

You: cheese

You: ice cream

You: but i finished it now

You: i’ll go make that sandwich

You: fuckin shoes

You: nope

You: i stumbled in them

You: i look up to the mirror

You: think i’m too fat

You: and go make my sandwich

You: i want pizza

You: and sandwicg

You: *h

You: i’ll make pizza with sandwiches on it

You: i eat

You: that’s good

You: tuna sandwich with lots of onion and no tomatoes

You: and mayonnaise

You: and ketchup

You: NOPE! are u joking?

You: i’m never finished

You: my clothes: i won’t need em anymore

You: they don’t fit me

You: i’m fat

You: i want to eat a penguin, do you have one?

You: oh ok

You: where do i get a polar bear to eat?

You: too far, i want one now

You: ok i don’t want it anymore

You: my fridge is empty

You: MY LIFE IS RUINED

You: MY FRIDGE IS EMPTY

You: WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW

You: AAAAAAAARGH

You: i have a spare croissant left

You: i eat it

You: SHE’S NOT BACK

You: IT’S LATE!

You: oh yes

You: here she is.

You: with a new teenager!

You: that’s good.

You: yeees

You: yummy

You: yeah

You: obvious question

You: a cherry

You: it was on a pie

You: the pie itself

You: a pig

You: BLEAH

You: nope

You: i hate it

You: nope

You: but i’m eating chocolate

You: now my life is better

You: YOU

You: hi

You: hmm.

You: ok.

You: what is the Bose–Einstein condensate? :P

You: Y HALO THAR

You: HAO IZ UR DAY ON TEH INTERWEB?

You: MY DAY IS FINE TOO SIR

You: WHAT CARRIES U TO THIZ REMOTE LOCALE?

You: WHAT DID UR EYEZ PARTAKE UPON?

You: OH MY YOU DONT SAY?

You: AND WHAT OF THE LADY?

You: OH MY!

You: WAS HER DEMISE OF MOST QUICKNESS?

You: WELL THAT MUCH WE SHALL BE THANKFUL FOR, THOUGH I BEG YOU NOT SAY MORE

You: HOU HORRIFY ME SIR!

You: HOW DARETH YOU?

You: HAVE YOU MAKETH ANY ATTEMPT TO SAVE THE DAMSEL

You: HOW DID YOU TAKE UPON THIS TASK SO SPECIAL?

You: MY GOD!

You: HOW DID YOU COMBAT DARINGLY THIS MOST CREATURE OF LEGENDS?

You: AND FLAMING FIRE HAD YOU ANY?

You: DEAR GOD? SURELY THAT IS HOW HE NATRUALLY IS, AS FLAME TO SKIN IS NOUGHT OF FAIR HEALTH

You: A HORSE OF FLAMING SKIN IS AUGHT A GOOD COMPANION INDEED

You: I DARE NOT TRAVEL TO YONDER HYPERLINK, AS I FEAR ILL ATTEMPTS UPON MY LIFE LIE OVER FAR HILL

You: ARE YOU ERR MORE! ALAS I AM A LAD YOU MISTAKE ME FOR.

You: MY GOD HATH YOU BEEN STRICKEN WITH FEVER OR BLINDLESS?

You: IT IS QUITE MY CLARITY I AM LA LAD.

You: LEST SUCH A WITCH HATH TRANSFORMED ME.

You: AND YOU HATH ONE WENCH OF KNAVERY TO ACCOMPANY THOU!

You: LET US RIDE TO BRING JUSTICE TO AFOREMENTIONED DRAGON AND FOUL WITCH OF SEXTRANSFORMATION

You: LET SEEK US HTE APOTHECARY!

You: BUT I HATH BEEN STRICKEN WITH HYSTERIA!

You: WHAT IN THE NAME OF?

You: THOU MUST BE THE DRAGON WE SEEKEST!

You: WHAT KNAVERY!

You: TARRY NOT SEARCHING FOR A CURE!

You: FOR I SHALL DEVOUR YOU MYSELF

You: I TAKETH UPON ME YOUR BLADE, SO I MIGHT BANISH YOU WITH SACRED-SWORD

You: ALAS FOR I AM QUICKET THAN THOU!

You: THOUGH THOU MIGHT BE MORE DEXTEROUS!

You: THEN THIS VORPAL SWORD I SHALL SEEK

You: FOR I KNOW THE LAIR OF THE BEAST IN WHICH VORPAL-SWORD DWELLS

You: I SHALL FIND THE SACRED BLADE, AND CUT DEEP YOUR HIDE NONETHELESS.

You: IF NOTHER SWORD I SHALL REQUIRE, NOTHER SWORD I SHALL SEEK, AND NOTHER SWORD I SHALL FIND.

You: THOU ART DAFT! MY COUSIN OF OLD COLLECTS CUTTING DRAGON BLADES OF SHARP!

You: A WENCHES SON YOU OUGHT ARE MY FOE OF EVIL!

You: AND TWINE MOTHER HATH BORNE MANY SUCH WOMEN!

You: WHEREST YOU OBTAIN SUCH POWER?

You: I SEEK THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE LARGE HARD-ON COLLIDER.

You: YOU ERR FURTHER! I AM A LAD, THOU KNAVERY HATH AFFLICTED ME!

You: NO!

You: YOU ERR!

You: ALL YOUR CASTLES ARE BELONG TO MY KINGDOM?!

You: INDEED IT IS!

You: I CURSE YOU!

You: THOU BEWILDERETH ME SIR!

You: THOU HAS BEEN AFFLICTED WITH BEWILDERMENT! DOTH THOU NOT REMEMBER THINE CRIMES?

You: YOU NOUGHT REMEMBER! THOU ART A DRAGON!

You: FEAR ME!

You: FOR I HAVE FOUND VORPAL-SWORD IN THINE ABSENCE!

You: YOU SHALL BE SECONDED!

You: I BANISH YOU TO THE INTH HELL WYRM OF EVIL FIRE!

You: AND TAKETH A WORD AWAY WITH YOU

You: FOR THOU HATH DOTH LOSE THE GAME FOR ALL ETERNITY!

You: CONTEMPLATE THIS IN THINE HOUR OF DEFEAT

You: WHAT IS 1/0?

You: I BELEIVE I HEAR THE CLASHES OF DISTANT THUNDER…

You: MY GODS.

You: WHAT IS THAT?!!!

You: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

You: well…

You: i dont know..outer space….

You: is that the countersign?

You: Ah, an idiom….

You: I thought we were pretending to be spooks.

You: Apologies stranger…

You: I meant not to offend…Verily i swear this…

You: My cat can vouch for my trustworthiness

You: Aww…you wound me

You: If it does not please your ear to hear my faux antiquated babble

You: why dont you suggest something else…

You: it is

You: I beg to differ on one point.

You: Faux antiquated text can easily be grammatically correct and properly punctuated.

You: I get away with writing faux antiquated poetry easily enough.

You: Touche! Yet does not such speech break the dull monotony of “hi! asl, lets cyber.?

You: True enough.

You: Though Inotice that you too have a predilection for antiquated wording.

You: “Quell” isnt exactly in common usage today.

You: You mean to make offense?

You: Or, do you perhaps jest?

You: -fingers hilt of rapier-

You: -fingers handle of cleverly concealed holdout blaster-

You: -fingers buttons on portable minesweeeper-

You: -fingers comlink for callin in airstrike-

You: -fingers slice of well cooked nerf-

You: -force chokes your closest relations-

You: -fingers industry-level laser-

You: -fingers the lord’s hotline-

You: -Calls upon hellish minions to resuscitate the corpse-

You: -leads hellish armies in a siege of heaven’s gates-

You: -fingers hold out blaster and vaporizes Jesus-

You: (Din’t see that coming did you?)

You: -fingers massacre- (global spells ignore immunity to targeting

You: (jesus gets -2, -2)

You: -summons the daleks-

You: (acting through a half-cybernetic third party helps circumvent immunity to direct actions)

You: -daleks say – Exterminate, Exterminate-

You: -dalek warships land on the earth and begin to spew out millions of units-

You: (if we die the earth goes with it0

You: (with us)

You: (apologies for the error)

You: -The earth is rosted in a spectacular inferno-

You: – a lone Dalek escapes by hijacking the TARDIS.

You: -blast-

You: -unsummons the Dalek and uses remaining mana to summon the Flying Spaghetti Monster-

You: -Flying Spaghetti Monster touches jesus with noodly appendage, converting him to Pastafarianism-

You: the enemy aircraft are approacing and will soon be on your 6 what do you do?

You: you bank hard left the enemy efferghously keeps pace and begins to draw lead

You: as you dive for the deck the g forces press you into the back of your seat, the enemy aircraft are detered because your p-47 thunderbolt is better at diving than nazi bf-109′s

You: you pull out in a crushing 6 g’s barely above tree top level you see an elderly german farmer flipping you the bird but he soon fades into the distance which is what happens when your flying ant 300 feet

You: *at

You: you check your six nothing is directly behind you excpt for a large cloud of startled birds from the trees however on your 3 o clock a german fighter is diving while fireing at you

You: you failed

You: Hello

You: Who might you be?

You: Ah, but I am Batman, Stranger

You: I will and I do. I say it all the time. I AM BATMAN

You: Stranger are you related to the Riddler of the Joker?

You: *or

You: What nefarious plan do you hold for Gotham City, Stranger?

You: Hmm. I guess we could form a league or something….

You: but I have defeated most of Gotham’s bad guys…

You: With the bag guys gone, what I’m saying is that the league might end up being more like a pool club

You: *bad

You: Yes me too don’t get me wrong. I was really hoping you were a new bad guy… Where do you think we can find some?

You: Hmmm, I have get a whole new crime-fighting licence

You: but I guess it can be done

You: Batman: Central City. It will be like CSI

You: Can I still “Kapow!” there do you think?

You: Ok Batman – well I think that’s the plan then. I’ll move to Central City and clear it up a bit. You sort out Coast City. We leave another Batman here

You: We’ll have a conference once a year.

You: For training and seminars and stuff

You: Batcon

You: Ding!

You: Great minds, Batman, great minds

You: Oh, and don’t bother getting a “Robin” that really didn’t work out here

You: Grrrrr. That name still makes me mad. Do you get Alfred or do I?

You: Ok thanks. Really, no one else can press my shirts like he can. Top butler.

You: Well Batman, we should part ways here. Take the fight to the enemy and all that

You: See you at Batcon though! Miami here we come! Woohoo!!

You: Remember I am Batman. And now so are you.

You: Peace out