You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: I have an anal infection that causes it to bleed when I fart.
You: how bout putting a car silencer in your ass
Stranger: How do you recommend I stop it? Also, it makes it a bit of a mess on the carpet.
You: that way the anal lining will be protected and there’ll be no sound
You: no one will know you’ve farted
Stranger: But that won’t stop the anal bleeding.
You: It bleeds cause of the hot air.
Stranger: No, I still fart, but with the silencer will only deaden the sound.
Stranger: Unless it causes my flabby asscheeks to ripple.
You: it’ll also give a channel for the air, the anal wall will not come in contact with the fart.
You: even if your cheeks ripple
You: unless you are a stripper
Stranger: How bout if I was tubgirl?
Stranger: That would allow me to squirt farther
You: in which case you would have to get a tiny silencer so it isn’t visible
You: you don’t squirt from you ass!
You: how would the silencer help in any way?
Stranger: It’s like coffee.
You: In that case, it’s not squirting, it’s diarrohea.
Stranger: Its tastes like mocha
You: oh. then i suggest you set up the next starbucks
Stranger: It’s almost as good coming out as it did going down
You: dude, your whole digestive track doesn’t work
You: it’s the same coffee, unprocessed
Stranger: It’s analamazing!
Stranger: nah. it got processed, like the coffee beans they get that a cat shits out
Stranger: it does smell a little funky though
You: If you examine cat shit, then it’s your brain not your anal wall that needs fixing.
Submitted by Mayank from India
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: You thought you escaped the dicks by coming on text chat didn’t you? No chance.
Submitted by Oliver from England
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: Hello. I am your Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. I am here to help you.
Stranger: How old are you?
where do you come from?
female or male?
You: I am a male. I have always been and I am from everywhere.
Stranger: please tell me, how old are you,and im a female by the way;)
You: I am the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. I have always existed. And I want to solve your problems.
Stranger: do you have problems or something? do you pray that much? wierdo!
Stranger: PLEASE TELL ME WHERE YOUR FROM ATLEAST
You: For starters, people pray to me. I am omni present. I am mother fucking everywhere.
You: Fine. I wont help you with your problems. Your loss.
You: I can’t get no respect.
Stranger: will you fuck me
You: You want to be fucked by the Lord. I would suggest a catholic church.
Stranger: FREAK, i dont wanna be fucked by you! i wanna get fucked by taylor lautner!
You: I would go to the nearest pet store and find a Husky type dog. A German Shepard might also work. I’m not much of a fan of bestiality though.
You: I am homeless. But I am also an omnipotent being in no need of material possessions.
Stranger: how old are you? please tell me, my mum died 3 hours ago and im really sad. just 1 thing to chear me up atleast?
You: Wait. You are trying to get over your mothers death by trying to pretend to fuck Taylor Lautner on Omegle. Whoa dude. Whoa.
Stranger: my mum didnt really die 3 hours ago babe
You: I know this. I am Jesus Christ an almighty being.
You: I love you my child.
Stranger: how old are you?
You: 13.7 billion yrs old. I have been around since the big bang. I willed myself into existence. And how old are you?
You: I already knew that on account of the omniscience. That was a test and you passed. I am not impressed about you lying about your mothers death though. I created you better than that.
You: Thats not very nice to tell off the creator of the universe like that.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Submitted by Jason from Canada
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: I’ve been looking for you
You: Pity about the dyslexia
You: You are a horse Adele
You: I should never have bought you off that farmer, twas a good trade for my magical beans though.
You: Silly illiterate horse.
Stranger: fuck you, you crazy, you think a hoers can talk? sure it was beans and not mushrooms?
You: You think you are a hoer.
You: That’s slightly crazier seeing as it doesn’t even exist.
You: Alas, bested by a beast.
Stranger: Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn
Submitted by Elsaurus from New Zealand
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: bbbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnsssssssssssssssss
You: *grabs shotgun, shoots*
Stranger: *eats yo brains
You: *dies, gets up again, becomes part of the horde*
Stranger: bbbbbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnsssssssssssssssss
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Submitted by Zach from USA
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