Omegle Conversations

You: Please stop putting your bloody tampons in the soup!

You: NO! Vagina water tasetes worse than it seems!

You: True, but I could just get a spray tan!

You: I don’t know! I am a ginger and I can’t tan well! It is not my fault, okay!!!

You: But my hair has too much dandruff in it! I don’t like having dandruff all over my face!

You: HEAD AND SHOULDERS NEVER WORKS!!!!

You: NEVER!!!!

You: I don’t know! Sometimes I don’t wash my hair at all.

You: That sounds painful!

You: Pain is not beauty! Some weird old guy told me that at his house one day…

You: Then he strapped me to his bed and I can’t remember anything after that.

You: No! I can’t take this religious pressure anymore, I just want to convert to satanism!

You: THE BIBLE HURTS ME AT NIGHT! IT KEEPS TELLING ME NOT TO MASTURBATE! BUT IT FEELS SO GOOD!

You: Jesus is all grown up now, he doesn’t give 2 craps about me!

You: I don’t know, they keep telling me the real jesus is bob saget or something! I don’t know anything anymore!

You: last guy was rude to me <.<

You: Biggest secret?

You: I’m not sure if I have one, let me think.

You: Hm.

You: Well..

You: I killed a man >.>

You: Male or female?

You: Ah. Well that’s fun.

You: Do you do that all the time, or just when you’re alone?

You: Are you afraid of what others may think?

You: In society now a days, most people don’t care. I’m sure they have clubs for that sort of thing.

You: What is your favorite article of female clothing?

You: Hello?

You: Do you match your lingerie? Or just free ball it?

You: Oh well that’s good, at least you’re matching. :] Is it fun?

You: Hm. Maybe I’ll have to try it some time. It sounds like it’d be a nice change of pace.

You: Do you have any suggestions for me, as far as what I should get?

You: cocktail type?

You: Well. If I can find one that fits, I’ll be sure to do that one of these days. I’m a little too busy to be playing dress up right now though. How do you find the time?

You: How old are you? If you don’t mind me asking?

You: Oh well that’s not too bad then. What do you think would happen should someone walk in on you in the dress?

You: Would you get yelled at? Shunned? Thrown out? Would they treat it as nothing? SOMETHING must happen, don’t you think?

You: I’m curious about what that may be. haha

You: Well we should hope they accept you. Do you try heels?

You: Ever considered going out in public? Throwing on a wig, some make up and hitting it off with some guy?

You: howdy stranger.

You: HOW DID YOU FIND OUT

You: you should be worried.

You: anyway, I don’t have a dog

You: o_o

You: maybe you should try that

You: tell me how it works out

You: bummer

You: go take it… now

You: most likely

You: kay, have fun

You: Hey

You: Yes I would like to. Why did you call me to your office?

You: Well I was using some scissors, and Jimmy was being obnoxious and was saying that I couldn’t run faster then him. I happened to forget to put down the scissors and as we were running I tripped and chopped his hand off. He died 3 minutes later. I decided not to file a report due to possible jail time.

You: It’s hidden with a passing Asain man called “Yang”, I needed a quick way to dispose of it and he offered to take it off my hands. I believe he used it to make the cantomese chow mein you’re eating…

You: Yes that would make sense, but besides that how’s your very fine wife Mandy?

You: Wow, was this black woman roughly 5’6 and hairy?

You: That was actually a very top heavy man with a retractable 1 inch penis.

You: Indeed it does, so I guess we’re even about the whole Jimmy thing then?

You: And I know the said hitman, in return for letting him sleep with your wife he’ll quit the job

You: Thank you

You: If anything else is required call me on the intercom, the secretary will be busy banging me. But since I’m on the top I’m closest to the intercom

You: Hey

You: hrm 70/m/Everywhere

You: I am Chuck Norris

You: Legend has it that you are approaching my coolness level

You: This is not ok

You: So I must punish you with a roundhouse kick to the balls so powerful generations from now will feel it

You: And if we both put on a cape the universe will explode

You: I’m doing pushdowns right now, when I push the world goes down

You: Used to, Now I can kill 3000 boulders with one flea

You: I’ve counted to infinity twice

You: I destroyed the periodic table of elements, the only element is of surprise

You: If you google watch Chuck Norris get his ass kicked, nothing will come up…It doesn’t happen

You: Baseball has no steroids

You: only men who have been breathed on by me

You: My tears cure cancer, too bad I never cry

You: Ya well when Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the hulk, who turns into me

You: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY

You: The saying “Break A Leg” was started in Walker Texas Ranger by letting people hope that would be the extent of there injuries.

It never happend

You: I have more balls then you, no matter what

You: If I have 5 cents and you have 5 cents, I have more money then you

You: I went to the Virgin Islands and they were renamed the Galapogas Islands

You: A snake once bit me in the Arabian desert, It died three days later of poisoning

You: If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not me

You: One day Mcdonalds denied me an egg mcmuffin at 10:35, I roundhoused it so hard it became a Wendys

You: Whenever I smile someone dies, If I smile while roundhousing someone, two people die

You: Most people fear the reaper, I call him an impressive rookie

You: I’m done Mr. T if we keep this up the world will explode in awesomeness, 6 times

You: Then the chunks left will get roundhoused by me

You: Indeed

You: Well goodbye for now, see you during the extinction of the human race