Home > Conversations > Captain Boner in Space

Captain Boner in Space

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: 3. 2. 1. LIFTOFF. Ground control this is Captain Boner, reaching altitude of 2400 Kilometers. Safe to reach atmosphere at 100 nautical miles.
Stranger: lol
You: Sir, please buckle your safety belt.
Stranger: okay
Stranger: buckled
You: Thrusters activate.
You: Press the red button, if you will, sir.
Stranger: okay
Stranger: pressed
You: Shield activated.
You: Now take the wheel, I have a major deuce I need to release.
You: I will be 5 minutes.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: got it
You: *5 minutes later*
You: Smooth flying, sir.
You: You are quite the aviator.
Stranger: great job to you too captain
You: Alright, press the green button followed by the orange button and we shall begin descent upon Saturn.
Stranger: will do
You: Wheels deployed.
You: Landing…..
You: A little bumpy, but safe nonetheless.
You: Now, let’s collect some dust.
You: Here is your jar.
Stranger: alright thanks
You: Don’t flirt with the Saturn women.
You: They are cunning.
Stranger: but they’re so beautiful
You: You are here for one thing, dust.
You: Collect it.
Stranger: yes sir
You: *1 hour later*
You: Do you see the McDonalds over on the other side?
Stranger: yes i do
You: Let us go eat.
Stranger: should we go
Stranger: yes
You: What would you like?
Stranger: big mac please
You: Alright.
You: *Two Big Mac’s please*
You: *Food arrives*
You: Sit down at this booth, ESPN is on.
Stranger: sweet
You: Oh dear, a Saturn woman has walked in. Do NOT talk to her.
You: Good, she walked past us.
You: *after meal*
You: Would you like to drive home?
Stranger: yeah that’d be awesome
Stranger: back to earth?
You: Yes.
You: I will set the flight path
You: All you have to do is steer
You: Can you handle it?
Stranger: sounds good
Stranger: yup
You: Alright.
You: Engine active, shield active, thrusters warming up.
You: Gas full.
Stranger: is it hard to get past the asteroid belt?
You: Alright, press the blue button and we’re ready to go.
You: No, it’s ok.
You: We have a shield.
Stranger: gotcha
Stranger: okay blue button pressed
You: Alright, steer us gently now.
You: Follow the flight path on the GPS
You: We will need to orbit around Earth a few times to approximate location.
Stranger: oh why’s that?
You: Because it’s fun.
You: Now then, entering Earth’s orbit
You: Press the Brown button if you would
Stranger: alright
Stranger: pressed
You: Alright entering the atmosphere
You: Approaching the location
You: SLOW DOWN SON!
Stranger: ah sorryy
You: Alright lift up on the wheel slightly
Stranger: okay
You: Now press the wheel activator up above you
Stranger: k
You: and the brakes below
Stranger: yup
You: Then, I’ll open the wheel dock.
You: Alright, slow us down some more and follow the landing strip.
Stranger: nie
Stranger: nice
Stranger: you’ve trained me well, captain boner
You: Congratulations son, You flew us home.
Stranger: thank you sir
You: A job well done, I look forward to our next mission together.
Stranger: as do i
You: Son, why did you bring a Saturn woman home?
Stranger: uhh
Stranger: im sorry…i couldnt resist
You: Fair enough.
You: Stand and wave to the media
Stranger: =)
Stranger: *wave
You: Great work. Now let’s take the dust to Proffesser Vag.
Stranger: sounds like a plan
You: *several hours of examining later*
You: Yes, Prof. Vag has concluded, Saturn is indeed a planet.
Stranger: hooray!
You: Goodbye son, try not to get into too much trouble.
Stranger: i see it didnt suffer the same fate as its buddy pluto
Stranger: alright
Stranger: you too boner
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Captain Boner from USA

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (52 votes, score: 4.06)
Loading ... Loading ...
  1. Jamin
    June 16th, 2010 at 18:37 | #1

    Wow, that was awesome, Captain Boner. Good job!

  2. Captain Boner
    June 28th, 2010 at 20:45 | #2

    Thank you!

  3. saturnwoman
    July 5th, 2011 at 15:33 | #3

    I am thoroughly offended. That sucked, and i was looking for ass that night.

*