Omegle Conversations

Stranger: hey

Stranger: i thought you looked familiar

Stranger: i only came back to get my belongings

Stranger: damn

Stranger: what’s that smell?

Stranger: come here……

Stranger: closer…

Stranger: you smell like cinnamon!

Stranger: you bought a new fragrance

Stranger: you forget about me!

Stranger: i meant ‘to forget about me’

Stranger: i knew he was a bad influence

Stranger: it’s not my fault that i happen to work at a nursing home where many of the people don’t enjoy taco tuesdays

Stranger: I know. but i want the dog

Stranger: or did you sell that too?

Stranger: WHAT?!

Stranger: This is not cool dude

Stranger: i adopted her when her last boyfriend left her for a border collie

Stranger: you know greyhounds don’t fair well with a broken heart

Stranger: does that mean you’re paying for the vet bills?

Stranger: how the hell did that happen?!

Stranger: and marrying MY dog is something you’re not not proud of?

Stranger: family!?!!

Stranger: how many kids?

Stranger: i guess she really is man’s best friend…..with benefits

Stranger: what position?

Stranger: i knew it! she would always lie on her back as she slept

Stranger: should have seen this coming

Stranger: yeah, i am. although we used to be roommates, until you ate all my damn nachos

Stranger: i’m still proud of my decision to move back home based only on the fact that you ate my food

Stranger: and you blamed it on me

Stranger: i can’t believe i fed your addiction

Stranger: this is why everytime the show “intervention” was on, you’d throw the remote at the television

Stranger: it all makes sense now

Stranger: i can tell

Stranger: if the walls could talk

Stranger: …

Stranger: they’d choose not to because you’re always so angry and negative

Stranger: now you’re a drug addict too!?

Stranger: man, you’ve changed since last week

Stranger: THAT WAS YOU!?

Stranger: i saw that! i didn’t know what was going on

Stranger: i just thought it was a really intense game of cops and robbers

Stranger: you could practically just live my life since you’ve stolen my credit card info and everything

Stranger: but….?

Stranger: MAN! you know i live in my mom’s basement! she’s going to freak out

Stranger: is she at least pretty? this might be a chance for me to start a new life

Stranger: please Dear God, don’t let her have wet farts….

Stranger: at this point, i’ll take anything

Stranger: i’m not into that necessarily.

Stranger: but getting some is better than getting none i guess

Stranger: but i always wanted a jack russell terrier

Stranger: of course. i mean, especially since the whole Wishbone show

Stranger: all terriers think they’re badasses

Stranger: how about a Russian dog?

Stranger: we should turn that into a business

Stranger: it’s pretty lucrative

Stranger: can i join in? i mean, that’s the least you can do after stealing my credit cards, my dog and selling my stuff

Stranger: damn

Stranger: i’m trying here man

Stranger: *unzips outer skin*

Stranger: I DON’T NEED TO TRY YOU LOWLY HUMAN!!!!

Stranger: IT IS YOU WHO HAS NOT BEEN TRYING HARD ENOUGH!

Stranger: YOU SHOULD HAVE REALIZED THAT I WAS NOT OF THIS PLANET

Stranger: TO YOU I SMELL LIKE WET FARTS AND OLD PEOPLE BUT THAT IT THE NATURAL AROMA OF MY HOME GALAXY

Stranger: IT IS THE MOST SOUGHT AFTER FRAGRANCE ON THE PLANET OF WETFARTSLANDIA

Stranger: BROTHER!?!?!? I haven’t seen you in milennia!

Stranger: i’m doing just fine, Grogatron!

Stranger: she is doing very well. we just had our 15th child.

Stranger: yes, he is named Child 15

Stranger: it makes it easier on us

Stranger: Anyway, I must be going now. Gloopgerackaggack sent me to buy some flubber but i just got side-tracked here on this lousy yet interesting planet

Stranger: family reunion in 5 eons! be there!

Stranger: Take care my good brother!

Stranger: *beamed up into spacecraft and flies away*

Stranger: Oh no

Stranger: not you again

Stranger: You have some nerve coming here again

Stranger: well

Stranger: too late, I already sold them

Stranger: it’s.. nothing *shifty eyes*

Stranger: ok

Stranger: Yes

Stranger: It’s called “Cinnamon Buns. from Jon Lugizioamo”

Stranger: Well, I had to forget your odour mainly

Stranger: You smelt like wet farts and old ladies

Stranger: Well, it’s too late to apologise I’m afraid

Stranger: No

Stranger: We married last april

Stranger: I truly love her, she’s the only one who understands me

Stranger: I know the feeling

Stranger: No

Stranger: You are. I tapped into your credit cards

Stranger: Don’t ask how. I have connections

Stranger: I had to do things I’m not proud of

Stranger: I am very proud of it

Stranger: So is my family

Stranger: And my wife

Stranger: Yes.

Stranger: I’ve had about 2 hybrid kids with my Dog-Wife now

Stranger: Two Twins, both aged 5 months, Cindy and JoJo

Stranger: Damn straight

Stranger: and the sex is fiine

Stranger: missionary

Stranger: So what are you doing with your life now

Stranger: Still living in your mum’s basement

Stranger: Not my fault I have a nacho fetish

Stranger: I hate that show

Stranger: I’m so angry because I forget to take my hit of ectasy in the morning

Stranger: Yeah

Stranger: I was really high yesterday and I think I ran over some guy

Stranger: So I buried him in the front yard

Stranger: of your house

Stranger: Shit, I should have ran you down too

Stranger: Witnesses are bad

Stranger: I sort of did

Stranger: Uhh. Not sure how to say this but…

Stranger: If a russian bride shows up at your doorstep in the next few days, it was just me using your credit card

Stranger: Oops

Stranger: I kinda forgot about that when I was ordering

Stranger: …maybe

Stranger: She’s 85

Stranger: So unless you’re into that

Stranger: No

Stranger: She is a hermaphrodite though

Stranger: so unless you’re into THAT

Stranger: oh, you will be

Stranger: Too right

Stranger: You should try going out with a dog though

Stranger: I hear pitbulls are pretty happening at the moment

Stranger: I hear most of them are shallow

Stranger: THey are

Stranger: I already run a business like that actually

Stranger: It’s doing pretty good

Stranger: nope

Stranger: Try harder

Stranger: Even though it will get you nowhere

Stranger: HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!

Stranger: HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THE ZIPPER ON YOUR FORHEAD THAT WHOLE TIME

Stranger: Hang on….

Stranger: *unzips outer skin*

Stranger: I come from wetfartslandia as well!

Stranger: …

Stranger: Glorback!?

Stranger: Wow!

Stranger: How you doing man!

Stranger: Hows your wife, Gloopgerackaggack going?

Stranger: Congratulations

Stranger: I see

Stranger: Will do!

Stranger: And you!

Stranger: Idiot

Stranger: *unzips outer skin again*

Stranger: *evil laugh*

Stranger: THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU!!! -sprinkles holy water-

Stranger: Hey :) Ask me 10 questions and i will answer honestly.

Stranger: Paperclip him in the eye :)

Stranger: Whilst boiling the egg

Stranger: Kick him where it hurts

Stranger: Oh….

Stranger: Using the now bloody paperclip, quickly dig a hole, make the bear run towards mee, using the cape (like a bull fighting thing) plant the trampoline, so he runs and jumps on it and disappears off into a far away land :)

Stranger: :L How comes?

Stranger: Im proud :)

Stranger: okies :)

Stranger: Well no, my house doesnt have a doorbell

Stranger: I get really creeped out

Stranger: And realise its my mums phone

Stranger: !

Stranger: her alarm tones a doorbell sound!

Stranger: Yeah, i do

Stranger: Oh shit.

Stranger: Damn hes good….

Stranger: *she

Stranger: Its a girl bear ;)

Stranger: Nub :P
I give her a hug, and bloody hope for the best!

Stranger: Yay :D

Stranger: Go away, im with the lesbian bear now :)

Stranger: I knew my ex was a prick

Stranger: thats a hard one….

Stranger: Worrying as im a girl :P

Stranger: Save the girl/gut(Y)

Stranger: THE LIAR!! :o

Stranger: :O :(

Stranger: Poor bear….

Stranger: In my welly boot :)

Stranger: My welly or the hammer?

Stranger: ahh yes….

Stranger: oh dear!

Stranger: Urmmm

Stranger: I put the frying pay under the other pots where its usually kept

Stranger: And the bear…i sit him on the sofa :)

Stranger: Dressed in my mums clothes?

Stranger: Thanks :)

Stranger: ‘IM IN THE SHOWER’

Stranger: Whilst im in the shower

Stranger: Washing bear blood off me

Stranger: :)

Stranger: Good old police (i bet they forget)

Stranger: damn

Stranger: Put the bear in the field, and tell the farmer he has missed a spot, making him plow the bear again, causing it to be his fault!

Stranger: I borrowed the bears pan, andon my way to dropping it back off to him i saw him bear-bathing in the field. I then see the harvester running towards the bear! So i run towards them, just as the bears blood is splatting over everything, including his pan :(

Stranger: :)

Stranger: RESULT!

Stranger: I did, thankyou :)

Stranger: Verily, one bestows one’s greetings.

Stranger: Rather.

Stranger: Are you in a mental state of arousal, in or around which you may be sexually?

Stranger: And do you, in fact, have a mass of tissue on one’s chest?

Stranger: Of which may be bountiful?

Stranger: Ah, ’tis an unfortunate misunderstanding of the highest order.

Stranger: One suspects one will have to find another parter with which to play with one’s cane to.

Stranger: Cheeri-oh.

Stranger: Talk dirty to me bitch

Stranger: yeah keep going

Stranger: oh my good

Stranger: don’t stop

Stranger: yes yes YES

Stranger: KEEP GOING

Stranger: mmmmmm

Stranger: IMMA CUM IMMA CUM, keep goin!

Stranger: “and I jizz in my pants…”

Stranger: Classic, nice job.

Stranger: I applaud.

Stranger: Hello

Stranger: Yes

Stranger: assuming you’re the same stranger I;ve just spoken to

Stranger: which i very much doubt

Stranger: Then I would be amazed considering the probability

Stranger: let’s see if you are the same stranger

Stranger: Where are you from?

Stranger: nope, wrong stranger

Stranger: I was looking for someone fro, Rugby

Stranger: *from

Stranger: you could

Stranger: But i fail to see why you woud

Stranger: *would

Stranger: please pardon my typing

Stranger: thank you

Stranger: You’re most kind

Stranger: thank you

Stranger: So, where in the Untied States do you live

Stranger: it’s a rather large place

Stranger: yes

Stranger: well…

Stranger: where in the US do you live

Stranger: acctually, I don’t know why I’m asking; my American geography is abissmal

Stranger: why?

Stranger: why do laugh

Stranger: that was my question

Stranger: oh, fair enough

Stranger: well, that’s fine isn’t it

Stranger: Sorry, did I ever get how old you are?

Stranger: oh, well I appear to ahve forgotten

Stranger: oh well, never mind

Stranger: ’tis not a vital piece of information

Stranger: so, are you going to do much over the holidays?

Stranger: Atleast I assume you get some holiday for Easter

Stranger: oh, why not?

Stranger: No, but don’t you still get some holiday time?

Stranger: time off work or school

Stranger: And why don’t you celebrate Easter?

Stranger: oh, I see

Stranger: I’m so very soory

Stranger: What religion are you?

Stranger: don’t worry, I won’t think any less of you

Stranger: #

Stranger: C of E

Stranger: but only moderatley

Stranger: Pastafrian? Don’t be riduclous- why don’t you just say athesist

Stranger: I know, but it’s nonsence

Stranger: It’s that one founded by Richard Dawkins isn’t it?

Stranger: yes, let’s

Stranger: Did i ever tell you were I’m from?

Stranger: oh i am sorry

Stranger: I’m from the UK

Stranger: yes

Stranger: why are you repeating me?

Stranger: ok

Stranger: Normally at this point Yanks like to praise our accent and culture and how they so dearly want to go to London

Stranger: Thank you for not doing so

Stranger: Is there a thing about accents over there?

Stranger: well, when ever I talk to an American, usally at least, they profess to love the British accent and sy how sexy it is (if they’re fewmale any way) and boast about their impression

Stranger: I’ve never understood why

Stranger: Becuase over here many of us loath the American accent

Stranger: With good reason

Stranger: anyway, I msut go

Stranger: bye

Stranger: ok

Stranger: with what

Stranger: ok stay calm

Stranger: heres what you do

Stranger: go to your local liquour store

Stranger: buy some jack daniels

Stranger: oh god!

Stranger: its worse than i thought

Stranger: ok the only solution is to blackout

Stranger: drink until you black out

Stranger: also good news you will suffer memory loss

Stranger: so it will never have happened

Stranger: i can help the blonde chick gets voted off

Stranger: yah

Stranger: sry dude

Stranger: no but really

Stranger: she sucks

Stranger: yeah shes cute but also you have been drinking

Stranger: actually i have some bad news

Stranger: im ryan seacrest

Stranger: yes

Stranger: picture my hair in your mind

Stranger: my shiteating plastic smirk

Stranger: im everywhere

Stranger: i am legion

Stranger: You wake up in a grimy hotel room. The room is completely dark. What do you do?

Stranger: You pull back the covers and pull open the door. It’s night time, the parking lot is full of abandoned and smashed cars. You mysteriously find a shotgun in your grip.

Stranger: You double take at the weapon in your hand as it’s actually a sniper rifle. You whirl around to find anything to shoot. Unfortunately you don’t see any signs of anyone at all.

Stranger: You creep around the motel. It comes back to you now. You are wearing a suit for a stealth assassinator. You pull down your night vision goggles. The world is portreyed green to you through the goggles. There doesn’t seem to be anyone outside the motel.

Stranger: You start heading down the hallway as quietly as you can. As you progress you hear a steady banging against something. Bang. Bang. Bang. Follow the sound?

Stranger: You follow the sound to a door that looks mysteriously jammed shut. The banging seems to be coming from the other side of this door. There’s a couch stood upright in front of the door that props it shut. The door is halfway breaking in half from some soft of force that was pressing from the other side. What do you do?

Stranger: You grab the couch and start to swivel it out of the way. The banging gets louder as you move the couch away. It starts to get frantic and stops as you throw the couch away from the door. You hear heavy breathing on the other side of the door. Do you open it?

Stranger: You open the door. A deranged looking man slumps on the floor. His jaw is askew, his skin ripping as it tries to follow the line of his broken face. He wheezes at you, his eye sockets are empty. Your heart falls into your stomach as you see the figures in the darkness behind him, a rotting stench rises to fill your nostrils. He lunges at you with a rotting arm, his neck lashing to take a bite at you.

Stranger: They all moan behind him. All surging towards you.

Stranger: You shoot a round of your sniper rifle right through the man’s stomach. He slumps to the side but you have to fumble with the gun to reload as it’s a sniper rifle and only shoots one round at a time.

Stranger: “If only I had a gattling gun. Or a tommy gun 1930s style” You mutter as you clench a round of empty sniper rifle ammo between your teeth. The mob snarls at you and lunges forward at you. One grabs your leg and attempts to gnaw at it.

Stranger: You throw a kick at the rotting face of the little girl. She gags and more of the swarm jumps upon you and attemps to pin you down.

Stranger: You flail your limbs violently and manage to slide out of the grips of rotting hands. Your feet hit the ground running, you don’t dare to look behind you but you can hear the deranged screaming that chases you.

Stranger: You weave through the parking lot of broken cars, you can go left or right down the road. You seem to be in the middle of a big city. You can see skyscrapers off in the distance to your left. To your right you can see the ocean miles away.

Stranger: You race into the city, the monsters are still in pursuit behind you. They are so fast, you feel the slimy arms of one as they try to grapple you as you run. You see a car that looks in ok shape and an open man hole.

Stranger: You dive into the car, managing to throw the creature off of your back. You slam the door shut and they swarm around the car. Their fists dent the car from the outside. You feel for any sign of keys in the car but find none. You spot the exposed wires underneath the steering wheel.

Stranger: You fiddle with the wires and the car miraculously comes to life. You jump as a fist is thrust through the back window of the car.

Stranger: Your foot slams hard down on the petal, mowing through squishy corpses. You can hear the garbling of the zombie who is now stuck in your back window. You can hear a loud snap behind you. Whirling around, you can see that the arm has detached from the body and now lies motionless in your back seat.

Stranger: You drive down the road. You seem to be in the middle of a giant city. There are many buildings on either side of you. It becomes difficult to navigate through the streets as there are so many wrecked cars. You see an entrance to a skyskraper, a grocery store, and a mall a little bit down the road.

Stranger: You get out of the car and find you couldn’t have driven much further anyway. The road is completely blocked with debris. You move to the entrance of the store to find the overhead speaker outside is still playing pleasant music.

Stranger: You enter the store to find carts strewn across the store. A corpse lies face down in the corner of the store. The shelves are full of food but from the smell you can tell it’s rotting.

Stranger: You wonder how long the city is like this, why can’t you remember? You try to search through your leather suit to try and find clues. You take off your gloves and find a wedding ring on your left ring finger. But there are no documents on your person.

Stranger: You note that your spouse is most likely dead. But you wonder if anyone else is left alive. Looking again at the corpse you realize that he or she is wearing a police uniform.

Stranger: You wander the store and find that the section of the store labelled ‘canned food’ has empty shelves. You manage to find two candy bars that fell beneath the shelves. Do you want them?

Stranger: You check the candy bars. They are twix bars. You open one and take a whiff. It seems to be okay.

Stranger: Candy bar x 2 has entered your Inv

Stranger: As you put the candy bars in your coat pocket you hear one of the carts behind you crash.

Stranger: You whirl around, stepping towards where you heard the noise. You don’t see anything.

Stranger: You continue to search, cautiously moving towards the front of the store. You suddenly realize something is hiding behind the store counter. You spotted something move behind the counter

Stranger: You lean over the side of the counter and a woman lunges out at you with a yell.

Stranger: You are startled and jump back, throwing a fist at her as she lunges at you. You hit her in the shoulder but you notice she is wielding a pistol.

Stranger: You dive behind one of the metal isles used for frozen food. You gag as you smell the rotting meat behind you. The room is silent, however. You didn’t hear a shot.

Stranger: You peek your head out behind the isle. She stands with sturdy footing, pointing the pistol in your direction. She is absurdly dirty, wearing a brown leather trench coat. However she looks very much alive. “Who are you!” She yells.

Stranger: “Jasmine, who are you!” You shout back at her. Surprisingly, she lowers her gun. “My name is Meghann. Are you a bandit?”

Stranger: Meghann’s laugh was cynical. She thrust her gun in her belt. “Yea. Who isn’t. I thought this building might have some food left, it’s been a week or so since I’ve been able to find anything to eat.”

Stranger: Thanks for playing. I have to take off.

Stranger: I’m just experimenting. Everybody makes their own story

Stranger: My name is Corinne

Stranger: Aw, thank you. Have a good day ok?

Stranger: Welcome to Alcoholics Anonymous. My name is QuaShawndra. Pleased to meet you this evening.

Stranger: Excellent, my Internet friend. That’s the first step. Admitting you have a problem.

Stranger: I am so sorry to hear that. In what ways has your alcohol abuse destroyed your family?

Stranger: That’s horrible. I was in a similar situation at one point. My alcohol abuse got so bad my cat refused to shower with me.

Stranger: I know, right. It is practically impossible to have fun without a beer or two. You know what, fuck this meeting. Let’s go to the bar.

Stranger: Yeah that’s what wives are for, anyway. Takin’ care of the kids and such. YEEEEEAHH SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS EVERRRYYBODDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stranger: AHAHAH same here! This is the greatest conversation I have had with anybody on here.