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Quick Screening

April 23rd, 2010
2 comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
You: asl or ac
Stranger: ac?
You: actual conversation
Stranger: o sry
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by John Smith from Canada

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (56 votes, score: 3.79)
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Mystic Delivery Gone Awry

April 23rd, 2010
2 comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hello
Stranger: hey honeybuns
You: enough with the idle fuckin chatter, do you have the stuff?
Stranger: a course
You: good
You: I have the money
You: hand over the stuff
Stranger: first bark like a dog
You: *Pulls out Gun* What the fuck did you just ask me?
Stranger: the eagle has landed big bird
Stranger: whats the code word?
You: Fuquan
You: is the code word
Stranger: *Pulls out rocket launcher* That’s right.
Stranger: /hands briefcase. There’s the stuff
You: good, *hands money
You: wait a fuckin jiffy
You: wheres the rest
Stranger: gahahaha
You: ?
Stranger: /fires rocket
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by TAB from USA

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (63 votes, score: 4.25)
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Screening

April 19th, 2010
13 comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: are you a horny girl?
You: yes
Stranger: no you are a guy pretending to be a girl
You: that too
You: i am also
You: a chair
You: pretending to be a guy
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Nick from USA

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (133 votes, score: 4.69)
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Freudian Slip

April 19th, 2010
2 comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi.
Stranger: Hello.
You: asl?
Stranger: 17/M/USA
You: 9 M USA
Stranger: 9?!
You: Yes…
Stranger: You’re awfully young to be on a site like this.
You: You’re awfully gay to have internet.
Stranger: Boy, when I was 9 there were no sites like this.
You: Boy, when you were nine no one loved you.
Stranger: Hmm… Just the sort of attitude I expect of someone porn in the 2000s.
Stranger: Born*
You: wow
You: lmfao
Stranger: Bad typo.
Stranger: I don’t know if you know what a Freudian slip is…
Stranger: But that is a classic example.
You: I don’t know if you know how to split an infinitive.
You: That was a classic example.
Stranger: True.
You: lol
Stranger: So, being “9″, what sort of music do you like?
You: I’m really into symphonic metal.
You: Like the Trans Siberian Orchestra.
Stranger: Ah, I’ve heard a bit of that kind of thing, but generally not what I enjoy.
Stranger: But nice style, kid.
You: Well what would you prefer then?
Stranger: I listen to jazz, lounge, and operetta mainly.
You: Ahh…
Stranger: Like Gilbert and Sullivan operas.
You: I see.
You: So, I have a question for you.
Stranger: I do like orchestras who do intrumentals, though.
Stranger: Okay, shoot.
You: Which mental illness do you have?
Stranger: Mental illness? I don’t have any mental illness.
You: Come on I corrected you on splitting an infinitive.
You: Do you really think I’m nine?
You: You’re lame.
You have disconnected.

Submitted by John Doe from USA

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (63 votes, score: 3.49)
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Afternoon Tea

April 19th, 2010
No comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: VAGINA
You: can I interest you in a cup of tea?
Stranger: YES PLEASE
You: milk and sugar?
Stranger: oh im so sorry i left my caps lock on
Stranger: HELL NO THAT KILLS THE TEA
You: LIES!!!!!
You: bisuit?
Stranger: YOU LIE
You: biscuit?^
Stranger: no CRIMPET!
You: jammie dodger or shortbread?
You: crumpets? I can do that
Stranger: jammie dodger
You: with golden syrup or just butter? Lurpak?
Stranger: what is this Lurpak>
You: the worlds greatest butter
Stranger: oh.
You: except for homemade butter, which is stupidly easy to make
Stranger: ill have some of that delicious golden syrup
You: very worthwhile
You: you’ll get sticky fingers
Stranger: thats what she said
You: rank.
Stranger: hahaha
You: chocolate biscuit?
You: digestive or hobnob?
Stranger: chocolate
Stranger: no digestive
Stranger: what kind of tea is this again?
You: english breakfast
Stranger: nice
Stranger: never had it
You: chocolate digestive?
Stranger: no digestive just chocolate biscuit
You: never had it? what tea do you drink?
Stranger: rooibos and mint
You: bourbon biscuit
You: or timtam?
Stranger: but not together
Stranger: timtam!
You: ahhh rooibos is good, in that case i agree on the no milk or sugar
Stranger: yeah
You: caramel, white or original timtam?
Stranger: caramel
You: we also have dark ones and the new dessert ones, tiramasu and such
You: caramel is my favourite
Stranger: niceee
You: lunch?
Stranger: lunch?
Stranger: !?!
You: cheese on toast or jacket potato with baked beans?
You: (we’re working through the day)
You: or a hotdog on a stick
You: ?
Stranger: jacket potato with baked beans
Stranger: ok
You: you can have cheese on that too if you like
You: coke, pepsi, orange juice, a pint or a glass of wine?
Stranger: bacon bits! not cheese
Stranger: pint
You: brb
You: toilet break
Stranger: ok
You: bacon bits….nice
You: pint of lager, dark ale, bitter or homebrew
You: ?
Stranger: dark
You: my you have excellent taste
You: afternoon tea……
Stranger: why thank you
You: scone or cake?
Stranger: earl grey with a scone
You: lovely….jam and cream?
Stranger: just jam
You: strawberry, raspberry or apricot?
Stranger: raspberry
You: the jam of champions
You: dinner….
Stranger: shepherds pie
Stranger: unless its not on the menu
You: cottage pie, vegetarian burger and chips, roast dinner, toad in the hole, pasta bake or goulash?
Stranger: roast dinner will work
You: heh first thing i typed, same thing, cottage is with beef, shepherds with mutton
You: or lamb
You: cheese on top of that shpherds pie?
Stranger: roast dinner with a fine glass of red
You: veg on the side…broccoli, carrots, peas or green beans?
Stranger: beans
You: merlot, cabernet sauvignon or pinot noir?
Stranger: cab
You: pudding?
Stranger: sure why not
You: chocolate fudge cake, cheesecake, sorbet or apple pie?
Stranger: good old apple pie
You: extra cinnamon?
Stranger: no
You: ice cream or cream?
Stranger: i was about to say can you make it a la mode
You: coffee and mints?
Stranger: just the mints thanks
You: pipe?
Stranger: no
Stranger: i dont smoke
You: welll…i give you 8.5/10 for good taste….good taste being cloase to my taste which probably isn’t that good at all….
Stranger: awwwee
Stranger: thanks
You: considering you started the conversation with “VAGINA” I’m pleasantly surprised
You: nice talking with you, eat and drink well, for life is too short…
Stranger: had to get you goin somehow
Stranger: oh definitely
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Cheryl from New Zealand

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (39 votes, score: 3.62)
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Freeing a Genie

April 19th, 2010
3 comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: youre an idiot!
Stranger: Am not.
You: im a genie!
Stranger: Wishes, please?
You: how many do you want?
You: if you
You: guess
You: me
You: my*
You: luck
You: y
You: number ill give you them.
You: 3 tries.
Stranger: How many digits in your lucky number?
Stranger: I feel like that’s only fair.
You: 1.
Stranger: 5
You: no.
Stranger: 7
You: no. the first guess was closer.
Stranger: 4
You: Congrats!
Stranger: Yessss.
You: You get 4 wishes.
Stranger: Wow, that’s a lot.
You: I know right>
You: ?
You: Im generous.
Stranger: Very.
You: but, hopefully, you’ll free me
You: as your fourth wish.
Stranger: I just may, if you’re nice!
You: I’m nice :D
You: wish away,
Stranger: Well, let’s see..
Stranger: Wish number 1: I wish for a billion dollars.
You: Tomorrow, you will win the lottery if you buy 4 quikpics.
Stranger: YES.
Stranger: okay.
Stranger: Second wish?
You: Go ahead.
Stranger: Wish number 2: I wish for a house in New Zealand and an amazing awesome family to live there with me.
You: Go to target and buy a bathrug, and you’ll meet the partner of your dreams.
You: make sure the rug is red.
You: shell want to go to NZ
You: ifor honeymoon.
Stranger: He, hopefully.
You: and you’ll stay there.
Stranger: Haha okay.
Stranger: Wish number 3; I wish for…. mint chocolate chip ice cream.
Stranger: With sprinkles.
You: That’s so difficult! I hope there’s some in your freezer. I’d suggest asking a younger sibling to go to DQ and get you some.
Stranger: Ahh. Too bad mine’s like 100 miles away. But maybe it will happen, because it is a wish afterall.
You: ‘Tis.
You: fourth wish? :D
Stranger: Hmmm.
Stranger: Well, you have been nice…
You: Free me!
You: plz!
Stranger: And I’m quite sure you wouldn’t rule the world.
Stranger: Menicingly.
You: No, I’m not mean. I’m quite generous, as I said,.
Stranger: May I ask you some questions first, just so I can interview you for freedom? I wouldn’t want to free you if I felt it was irresponsible.
You: Okay, ask away.
Stranger: Favorite color?
Stranger: /song/tv show?
You: Purple. Or yellow.
You: Song – Too many too choose, to be fair.
You: Show – Hmm.
You: Show- House MD.
You: Genie style.
You: Of course.
Stranger: Naturally. Hmmm. Do you put on your left or right shoe first?
You: Right.
You: If i wore shoes.
You: But I do not.
You: Sadly, I have no feey.
You: feet*
Stranger: Oh, I’m so sorry I must have forgotten.
Stranger: Hmm. What color are you?
You: Cerulean.
Stranger: Pretty. What will you do with your lamp when you are free?
You: Smelt the gold and donate it to the poor.
Stranger: Good choice. Now, what will you do first as a free genie?
You: Vacation for a while. I know: that’s a little selfish. But I have been trapped in a lamp for a few millenia before you came along.
Stranger: Oh, I see. Now, final question – why did you call me an idiot?
You: Looking for a rise. I’ve run into a few people today who are only asking for intercourse. This does not please me.
You: I was mad–I apologize.
Stranger: Totally understandable. Hmm. Alright. I’ve decided.
Stranger: Fourth wish: … you’re free!
You: Yay!!!
You: Best convo ever, by the way.
You: Continue on.
Stranger: I do my best.
You: and follow my instructions.
Stranger: Instructions? Ohh.
You: And your wishes will come true. :)
You: Bye, now. It’s Italy for me!
You: I’ll miss you, kid. You’ve been kind.
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Robyn from USA

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (34 votes, score: 3.41)
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Wrong Shop

April 19th, 2010
No comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello.
Stranger: Hello can I help you? *opening door to shop*
You: Yes, I’d like to browse your goods.
You: Is that a problem?
Stranger: No feel free! *stands back inviting you in* What exactly are you looking for?
You: I don’t know.
You: I’m looking for a friend, I think.
You: One with certain qualifications, of course.
Stranger: Oh and what are these qualifications? *straightening tie*
You: Well, for one, they must be able to form coherent senteces, using correct grammar.
You: Also, I’d like to speak to them without petty abbreviations such as “LOL” and “ASL”.
Stranger: Done and done.
You: Oh yeah, and they must be a ninja.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Emily from USA

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (54 votes, score: 4.54)
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Friend From The Past

April 13th, 2010
2 comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: good day dear old chap. how have you been after all these years?
Stranger: well old pal from the past, bit rusty in the bed bud good at most other things
You: Not much has changed then has it. Hows the wife? dead yet?
Stranger: long gone mate
Stranger: she was what, 40 years older then me?
You: ah your lucky. I wish mine would hurry up and pop her clogs. shes a pain in the arse.
Stranger: still got that same great sence of humour havnt we
You: As always- but seriously I do wish she would die already. although her extra ‘lady of the night’ income is helping to fund my new adult entertainment buisness.
You: you want in? Its going to be the reveloution in adult cinema- will make millions.
Stranger: u wish jellyfish. rember the corney sayings we used to use bak in the day *wink wink nudge nudge*
You: wink wink nudge nudge- that right crabs. I forget why crabs is your nicknam— oh wait just remembered.
Stranger: i used to nip my wife when she tried to tongue me. it was kid of a habit of mine
You: Oh- well that explains why she came to me for unpainful sexal release. The truth is- shes not dead.
Stranger: u have got to be f u c k i n g me?
You: No Im not fucking you. Im fucking your ‘dead’ wife. oh and your daughter.
Stranger: i dont think i want to speak to u anymore – - – is she that extra “lady of the night” u were talking about?
You: oh no thats my current wife. Your wifes the one starring in my new revolutionary sex film.
Stranger: ok thats it ive had it with u…..u…..u…u p0rn star derictor wife and daughter stealer!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Grace C from UK

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (26 votes, score: 3.31)
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Omegle Chat Template

April 11th, 2010
3 comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: <insert standard greeting>
You: <insert reply to greeting>
Stranger: <insert internet abbreviation>
You: <insert curse words at sight annoying abbreviation>
Stranger: <manifest text emoticon repeatedly>
You: <disconnect, download conversation, and submit to omegleconversations.com>
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Lissa from USA

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (112 votes, score: 4.56)
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The Crow Sings at Midnight

April 11th, 2010
5 comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Psst
Stranger: hi
You: The Crow Sings At Midnight
Stranger: ok..
Stranger: 15 m singapore
You: <.<
You: you got the package?
You: >.>
Stranger: package?
You: the STUFF man
You: wait
Stranger: asl>
Stranger: whats ur asl
You: is this “Dorito”?
Stranger: dorito?
Stranger: no??
You: SHIT. *Abort mission*
You have disconnected.

Submitted by PuaLani from USA

Author: Wik Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (81 votes, score: 4.57)
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