Omegle Conversations

You: hey

You: ninja!

You: woyaaaaaaaaaa!

You: ninja kick!

You: hmmm… (ninja breath catching technique) … you’re quite strong…

You: there’s no point killing each other

You: let’s have a friendly talk

You: thank you…

You: i have been well taught

You: yes?

You: I couldn’t agree more…

You: i possess the ancient technique of the dragon slayer fist from the East…

You: which can only be achieved

You: after spending many moons meditating in a mystic cave… hmm yess…

You: i also like eating a good burger before assassination, but we’ll talk about this later

You: that’s right

You: i’m called unigawa, unrivaled under heaven, to whom do i owe the pleasure?

You: …. ?

You: WAYAAAAAAAA!!!!!

You: (death exclamation mark)

You: ninja block

You: tiger fury!!!

You: aaaaaaaah… (falls off a cliff)

You: (cause we were in the mountains, that’s ninja, right?)

You: cough cough…

You: you may have won this one… cough cough…

You: please, indeed

You: this would be very kind

You: WOAYAAAAAAA!

You: (80′s music)

You: (lots of synthesizer)

You: phew

You: i’m healed!

You: ninja thanks!!

You: ninja 5!

You: (yeah, i’m not that kind of ninja anyway…)

You: was fun talking to you

You: but i now have to continue my journey

You: a quest for the truth

You: *bows too*

You: may you find truth and inner balance as well

You: Ninja bye!

You: …………………………………………„„-^*””*^~^*”’*^-„„
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…………………………………| . . . . . . .„- ‘ . . . .*^„ . . . . . . . . . . ‘|*^*’ I’m Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC..
…………………………………*-„ . . . . . „-„„_„„-^^-* . . . . . . . . . . .’| ……..Why don’t you have a seat over there
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You: what are you doing here?

You: i have all of your internet conversations

You: it says here that you said you want to show her your private parts and that you’re “bigger than joe jonas”

You: you came here to have sex with a 12 year old girl, i wonder what they’ll think of that

You: help yourself to the plate of cookies

You: you can leave any time you want

You: *cops jump out of bushes and hit you with nightsticks*

You: *Chris Hansen rapes 12 year old girl*

You: Just had the best convo yet

You: I hope you’re up to the CHALLENGE!

You: hey

You: naked photo please

You: naked photo please

You: naked photo please

You: naked photo please

You: please

You: naked photo

You: naked photo please

You: naked

You: photo

You: please

You: naked photo please

You: NAKED PHOTO PLEASE

You: naked

You: the photo

You: DON”T YOU HAVE COPIES????

You: TAKE ANOTHER ONE

You: GET SOME MORE

You: GET SOME MORE

You: get

You: some more

You: NAKED PHOTO PLEASE

You: you’re not gonna strip are you?

You: :(

You: DUDE

You: THAT MAKES IT EVEN BETTER

You: …ugh, yeah, sure

You: sorry i gave my last one to the last guy who asked

You: sorry i gave my last one to the last guy who asked

You: sorry i gave my last one to the last guy who asked

You: sorry i gave my last one t

You: to the last guy who asked

You: sorry i gave my last one to the last guy who asked

You: in Amsterdam

You: thug!

You: I’m sensing: a republican

You: u no

You: let me get my scissors

You: Here let me take care of that

You: Oh, shit! That thing is way, way way too easy to snip off.

You: What the fuck am I going to do with this thing?

You: Should we just order a pizza?

You: *wagging thing around*

You: I just dropped it in the sink. Things here just ain’t sanitary.

You: Mind rinsing it off? I’ll get Pizza Hut.

You: looks like we got pepperoni in the making anyway. I’ll get plain cheese and we’ll cut this thing up.

You: Mind putting a towel on? You’re getting fucking blood all over my new carpet.

You: *getting cutting board*

You: *wagging thing around* *putting on cutting board*

You: Looks like this’ll be ready in a minute. Pizza’s almost here

You: I hope you don’t mind scars on your back.

You: Sounds like you’re getting lightheaded. We need to stop the bleeding.

You: Good thing, I’d say. You’d be howling otherwise.

You: Here’s a potato. I’ve cut it in half. If you duct tape it in front it should soak up the worst of things.

You: Pizza’s here! BRB

You: Sit in this chair

You: Pizza deliverer has boils, but she’ll do. Here’s Pam.

You: Hold her while I grab a chair and some string.

You: Pam, stop fucking freaking out about the blood.

You: Who the fuck is that?

You: That’s going to cost him.

You: I’ve locked the door. Does he lose a toe or an ear?

You: Shut the fuck up allen

You: THE FLOOR IS COVERED IN BLOOD wtf

You: I’m tying Allen to a chair

You: Some real satisfaction comin

You: No, these clothes are fucking new

You: So was it ear or toe for Allen?

You: SHUT THE FUCK UP ALLEN

You: Pam, you want the honors?

You: Look, friend, Pam is still freaking out about the potato. I’ve got to find something else.

You: *rummaging*

You: I’ve got a drawer full of butt plugs. That should do it. The loartab is still on, right? This is gonna sting.

You: I never should have cut that thing up.

You: What the fuck! You let Pam cut off Allen’s toe when I was in the other room? PAM YOU BITCH

You: SHUT THE FUCK UP ALLEN

You: I’m gonna shove a butt plug in Allen’s mouth. What was the other guy’s name?

You: Holy shit we got a trannie!

You: Maria still had a shlong! Why wasn’t she on hormones?

You: I suppose I finished that off, huh? She should have brought antibiotics.

You: *kicking maria* you awake or just playin?

You: What, who’s talking? Pam’s busy washing up after getting Allen’s toe.

You: And how the fuck did Allen get out of that chari?

You: This is a royal mess

You: Does Allen mind scars on his back?

You: You’re not walking so good, Allen. It’s amazing how important little toes are for balance.

You: Only one of us can dominate, Allen, I’m sorry. And Maria looks like she was too weak to whack off the wank, so I’m still boss.

You: *pushes Allen over*

You: PAM! GET THE FUCK IN HERE YOU POCKED CUNT

You: I need your damn heel Pam

You: Wait, sorry, Allen, she’s still screaming about Maria over there. I’m gonna teach her some sense.

You: Want some pizza?

You: Here you go. Made the pepperoni myself. Maria helped.

You: PAM SHUT THE FUCK UP I need your heeled shoes.

You: Thanks

You: Allen, this is gonna sting.

You: *shoving heel up Allen’s nostril*

You: Good idea!

You: She’s screaming again

You: You gonna help or what?

You: Get that thing out of your nose

You: Have some respect

You: Oh fuck you dont want that. *Grabs shotgun*

You: Hope you don’t mind walking on one stump.

You: BOOM

You: Aw shit. Now I feel bad.

You: You’re not going to last more than 30 seconds if we don’t get a tournequet on that thing and Pam WONT YOU FUCKING STOP SCREAMING

You: Gotta find someting

You: OH SHIT I SHOT A DEMOCRAT

You: I’ll grab some panties

You: DON’T BRING OBAMA INTO THIS here’s some panties to tighten the tournequit

You: Don’t worry, not mine, bought ‘em in a Japanese vending machine in Tokyo

You: ‘pleasant used smell’

You: LETS GET THEM NEXT

You: I HAVE A SHOTGUN

You: I guess you knew that

You: PAM DID YOU CALL THE POLICE YOU BITCH

You: ALRIGHT COP FUCKERS! ONE STEP ONTO THE LAWN AND PAMELA GETS A HEEL IN HER LEFT EARDRUM!

You: Appears they’re taking me up on it. Sorry Pam.

You: Allen, can you shove the panties in Pam’s mouth if you’re not using them?

You: WONT…..SHUT…..UP

You: I’m taking out oinker #1

You: BOOM

You: LEt’s skullfuck this asshole

You: Wait! Something better, I just grabbed the cop’s taser

You: Partner’s down too. Yay!

You: I’d say we have a half hour to carve these guys up.

You: Hinners? I WANT COCAINE

You: Here’s the taser. Shut Pam up.

You: Alright, I’ll fucking do it.

You: Pam was pretty useless. SHE GETS NO TIP FOR THE PIZZA DELIVERY