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Teaching Internet Manners

March 22nd, 2010
1 comment
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: are you girl with msn to chat?
You: You have much to learn my friend.
You: Do not rush these things.
Stranger: like?
Stranger: ok..
You: First off, with an opening line like that you will scare of many.
You: Start somewhat slow.
Stranger: k..
You: You need patience.
You: Start off with something like…
You: “Hey how are ya?”
Stranger: ok..
Stranger: are you boy or girl?
You: It’s generic, but in all good time.
You: Stay away from gender direct questions like that.
You: After the greeting small talk.
You: Ask for a name.
Stranger: ok..then
You: That way you can assess the sex and ethnicity.
You: Then talk about their interest in the internet.
You: MSN just ‘happens’ to come up.
You: Some small talk.
You: And then you just suggest MSN, like “Hey, you said you have MSN, right? Ya wanna go to that?”
Stranger: is this experience..
Stranger: or what is you expect ..
You: If yes, then Congrats! If no, then continue small talk until she finally agrees.
You: I took my in-person experience and just set the scenario up with your specifications.
Stranger: k
Stranger: thanks..for this..let me try with some one other
You: Good luck, friend.
You have disconnected.

Submitted by String from USA

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (74 votes, score: 4.55)
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Escape The Huge Baby

March 22nd, 2010
1 comment
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: you live in a baby. we found out years ago. you aren’t supposed to know until you are 18, but you need to move out. your presence is disturbing the baby’s bowel movements.
Stranger: oh
You: QUICKLY NOW! no time to spare! you are under the pressure of time’s thumb!
Stranger: who r u?
You: best way out is through the ear canals by way of the tendons
You: lets just say im an old friend :)
Stranger: :)
Stranger: ur funny.
You: no im dead serious. the baby is massive. its irregular poop has the capacity to kill us all
You: flee. for our lives
Stranger: who created the babe
You: god, a mother, who knows?
You: want to hear something insightful?
Stranger: yep
You: time…is but a word. destiny…is but an intangible thing. fate….is boundless.
Stranger: aww…
Stranger: ur dead?
You: i could be. we all could be.
You: save us
You: save yourself
Stranger: where r u?
You: curiosity killed the cat 0_o
You: im everywhere
You: in your hear
You: *heart
You: sould
You: *soul
You: mind
You: body
Stranger: :)
You: spirit
You: any number of grocery stores
Stranger: ok.
You: and the like
Stranger: interesting
You: quite.
Stranger: so
Stranger: what can I do now?
You: well, you must go through the bloodstream. there you will meet the frog of wisdom. don’t trust him, but listen.
You: from there, you must bind the magic and reach the tendons
You: follow the north one and you will reach the ear canal
You: heave yourself up, and crawl to freedom
Stranger: may I know my name?
You: and life.
You: may you?
You: yes.
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: so tell me
You: your name is thus:
You: theodore isaac landon-crumpet..
Stranger: i don’t like crumpet…
You: you will have it and like it.
You: its the will of fate
You: fate…a funny word.
You: …a lifetime of discovery
Stranger: :)
You: yes yes. very much so.
Stranger: :)
You: (see above)
Stranger: so
You: and so it shall be
Stranger: may I know ur name?
Stranger: Im soo hungry now…
Stranger: But I can’t go out
You: my name is but a footnote on the universal time of life. its a quick snap of a thing. not very important to know such small details when there are bigger knowledges to be possessed.
Stranger: kk
You: ok. ok. yes indeed.
Stranger: the sky is orangetoday
You: so it is.
You: as of now its the tint of midnight
You: with speckled dots for stars
You: in the moonlight
You: they shine
Stranger: no
You: we live in different lands, you and i
Stranger: the skys orange
Stranger: oh really
You: yes
You: very much so
Stranger: aren’t u in Mars?
You: close. yet so far. nary a mile would have done much, im afraid.
Stranger: lol
You: humor is the essence of days.
You: embrace it
You: feel it
You: wrap your soul in its entirety in its welcoming shroud
Stranger: esp when ur dying
You: most of all when you are dying.
Stranger: :)
You: the feeling is mutual.
You: and so it shall be known that a stranger and another became comrads.
Stranger: true
You: so very much so
Stranger: well
Stranger: do u think i live in a dream?
You: we can think anything. this whole life, if you will, could very well be a figment of your imagination.
You: however, “i think, therefore I am.”
You: so, who knows?
Stranger: decare
You: begging your pardon?
Stranger: decare
Stranger: the french
You: ah yes yes of course
You: what about it?
Stranger: puff….
You: the magic dragon?
Stranger: can we stop talking in this way
You: i talk the way i always talk.
You: …on omegle :)
Stranger: Descartes is stupid in something
You: everyone is stupid in some way shape or form.
Stranger: ok
You: ok
You: tell me, do you enjoy queen?
You: any kind.
You: what is your favorite?
Stranger: u mean the music?
You: that is one type
You: “is this the real life?”
You: *”or is it just fantasy”*
You: *=what you should say
Stranger: real life
You: bohemian rhapsody -____-
Stranger: well I don’t know much about Queen.
You: oh. well i know that song in its entirety through and through. and thats about all. haha. oh hilarity.
Stranger: Love of my life
You: tiredness is casting weights on my eyes
You: i must depart
You: and slumber….
You: godspeed, comrade theodore isaac landon-crumpet
Stranger: lol
You: and farewell :)
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Amanda from USA

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (29 votes, score: 3.66)
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Gray Wolf

March 22nd, 2010
No comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: have you by chance written a paper on the negative effects of removing the gray wolf from the endangered species list?
You: Yes, I have.
Stranger: really??
You: When I was assigned to do it, I thought it’ll be boring, but then when I read into it, I was touched with the story.
Stranger: …. can i use it…?
You: Yes, but first, you must answer 3 questions.
You: What is your name?
Stranger: alyssa
You: What is 1+1?
Stranger: 2
You: In what year did John Cage’s Sonatas and Interludes for Prepared Piano come out?
Stranger: 1974
You: false.
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Gray Wolf from UK

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (37 votes, score: 4.51)
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Straight Up

March 22nd, 2010
2 comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: 18 m USA looking for pictures of naked females.
You: 16 f Canada NOT GIVING A SHIT!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Laila from Canada

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (54 votes, score: 3.61)
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Spock

March 20th, 2010
2 comments
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Spock?
You: Yup
Stranger: Oh, wow.
You: I know, I get that all the time.
Stranger: Well, it’s understandable.
Stranger: That haircut, dude.
You: Yeah, I know… I’ve been thinking of getting a trim for a while…
You: But the allure of celebrity, it gets to your head!
Stranger: Fame, money, bitches. You can’t complain, surely.
You: This… this is true. I suppose I am rather well off, now that you mention it!
Stranger: Always look on the bright side.
You: Amen, my friend!
Stranger: Rock on.
You: And now we must part… for that is the nature of this form of communication…
You have disconnected.

Submitted by James from USA

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (32 votes, score: 2.84)
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