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American Idol

April 8th, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Help
Stranger: ok
Stranger: with what
You: I’m stuck in a world where I’m watching American Idol and hate myself for it
Stranger: ok stay calm
You: I’m too old for this
Stranger: heres what you do
You: I’m too cool for this
Stranger: go to your local liquour store
Stranger: buy some jack daniels
You: I’m drinking already!!!!!!
Stranger: oh god!
You: That’s what’s so damn frightening!
Stranger: its worse than i thought
You: I know!
You: Help!
You: I can’t believe I’m hooked to Ryan Seacrest’s fauxhawk!
Stranger: ok the only solution is to blackout
You: Can we trigger one somehow?1
Stranger: drink until you black out
You: but wait
Stranger: also good news you will suffer memory loss
You: It’s only on for 15 more minutes…I don’t know if I can drink enough to black out that fast
Stranger: so it will never have happened
You: I have to break this cycle
You: It’s like crack, heroin and acid all together
You: It’s soo damn addicting
Stranger: i can help the blonde chick gets voted off
You: I’m a 26 year old man damn it!
You: OH Didi?!!??!!?
You: No!!!!
Stranger: yah
You: I liked her!!!
Stranger: sry dude
You: Damn it…no, I’m straight, I swear!
You: Why am I watching this?!
Stranger: no but really
Stranger: she sucks
You: She’s kind of cute though, she sucks a little
Stranger: yeah shes cute but also you have been drinking
You: I’m annoyed by the 16 yr old girl…
You: Damn it…you’ve sucked me into debating the worthiness of contestants now
You: You are just enabling my addiction!!!!!
Stranger: actually i have some bad news
Stranger: im ryan seacrest
You: nOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stranger: yes
Stranger: picture my hair in your mind
You: Damn you and your fauxhawk and goofy smile and 5’4 stature!!!!!!
Stranger: my shiteating plastic smirk
You: I don’t have to picture it…I’m looking at in on my tv
You: wait
You: how are you here and there at the same time?!!?
Stranger: im everywhere
Stranger: i am legion
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Pathetic Fan from USA

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (27 votes, score: 4.41)
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  1. Nick
    April 8th, 2010 at 22:02 | #1

    “You: It’s like crack, heroin and acid all together”

    If only ACID was addicting at all, that statement would’ve been less ignorant.

  2. You
    April 11th, 2010 at 01:48 | #2

    HAHA, the last lines cracked me up!