Albert Einstein Meets Fat Albert
November 5th, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hey
You: heyhey!
Stranger: its fat albert
You: Oh hey albert, this is Einstein. How are you doing today?
Stranger: kind of obese but not to bad
You: Oh well that’s good I suppose. You know, I keep telling you that it would be healthy to lose a few pounds…. have you considered that relativity test I offered?
Stranger: yeah my wieght is relative to my diet of live cow and lots of chicken and watermelon
You: Yes yes, I know that. Last Friday was terrible as I recall, and believe me… I generally recall things rather well. What makes you more attracted to food than my tests? I’ve presented you with all the logic you could ever need…
Stranger: well as you third grade alone is hard on us so one of your test no thank you please pass me the kfc
Stranger: im soory i ment as you know
Stranger: see told you learnin was hard
You: Albert, I can shoot you into space at 299,792,458 MPS, but I’m not going to pass you the KFC. Relatively, you’d be dead faster than you would reach Sirius at the rate you swallow it….
You: Now, forget about the chicken and become my guinea pig. Please?
Stranger: was that some kind of racist joke
Stranger: and coming from a jew
You: Goodness no my dear boy. My hair may be white, but my soul lies within the deep blackness of space and time itself.
Stranger: damn you the blackest person on earth ok then
You: Damn straight homie.
Stranger: skeet skeet
You: Either way, I have a date with destiny. I’m schedueled to discover nuclear fusion this afternoon. Come by my lab if you’re interested in losing a few pounds, I could use the dark matter.
Stranger: when do i get my giant water bottle and big ass chrome wheel
Stranger: all black people love giant chrome wheels
Stranger: and menthols
You: We’ve been over this before Albert, I don’t have the cash on hand to purchase those items. I’d much rather be spending leisure time in my lab, and quite possibly re-examining my life.
You: There are things -I- want too, you know?
You: A new beaker set, that anti-material dramatic tranlation device from Sears…
Stranger: ok then how about a loosey
Stranger: maybe a chicken head?
You: Okay, MAYBE I can manage the chicken head. But honestly dear boy, I think you look fine without the plastic surgery. Don’t listen to those other bullies.
You: Oh no! The cat’s gotten into the chemical storage containers again….. I’m sorry Albert, I must run. Don’t go around telling people you’re me anymore, okay? It’s not cool man. Not cool.
You: Drop by any time! God bless!
You have disconnected.
Submitted by Dreaming Wolf from USA
(13 votes, score: 4.62)
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