Afternoon Tea
April 19th, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: VAGINA
You: can I interest you in a cup of tea?
Stranger: YES PLEASE
You: milk and sugar?
Stranger: oh im so sorry i left my caps lock on
Stranger: HELL NO THAT KILLS THE TEA
You: LIES!!!!!
You: bisuit?
Stranger: YOU LIE
You: biscuit?^
Stranger: no CRIMPET!
You: jammie dodger or shortbread?
You: crumpets? I can do that
Stranger: jammie dodger
You: with golden syrup or just butter? Lurpak?
Stranger: what is this Lurpak>
You: the worlds greatest butter
Stranger: oh.
You: except for homemade butter, which is stupidly easy to make
Stranger: ill have some of that delicious golden syrup
You: very worthwhile
You: you’ll get sticky fingers
Stranger: thats what she said
You: rank.
Stranger: hahaha
You: chocolate biscuit?
You: digestive or hobnob?
Stranger: chocolate
Stranger: no digestive
Stranger: what kind of tea is this again?
You: english breakfast
Stranger: nice
Stranger: never had it
You: chocolate digestive?
Stranger: no digestive just chocolate biscuit
You: never had it? what tea do you drink?
Stranger: rooibos and mint
You: bourbon biscuit
You: or timtam?
Stranger: but not together
Stranger: timtam!
You: ahhh rooibos is good, in that case i agree on the no milk or sugar
Stranger: yeah
You: caramel, white or original timtam?
Stranger: caramel
You: we also have dark ones and the new dessert ones, tiramasu and such
You: caramel is my favourite
Stranger: niceee
You: lunch?
Stranger: lunch?
Stranger: !?!
You: cheese on toast or jacket potato with baked beans?
You: (we’re working through the day)
You: or a hotdog on a stick
You: ?
Stranger: jacket potato with baked beans
Stranger: ok
You: you can have cheese on that too if you like
You: coke, pepsi, orange juice, a pint or a glass of wine?
Stranger: bacon bits! not cheese
Stranger: pint
You: brb
You: toilet break
Stranger: ok
You: bacon bits….nice
You: pint of lager, dark ale, bitter or homebrew
You: ?
Stranger: dark
You: my you have excellent taste
You: afternoon tea……
Stranger: why thank you
You: scone or cake?
Stranger: earl grey with a scone
You: lovely….jam and cream?
Stranger: just jam
You: strawberry, raspberry or apricot?
Stranger: raspberry
You: the jam of champions
You: dinner….
Stranger: shepherds pie
Stranger: unless its not on the menu
You: cottage pie, vegetarian burger and chips, roast dinner, toad in the hole, pasta bake or goulash?
Stranger: roast dinner will work
You: heh first thing i typed, same thing, cottage is with beef, shepherds with mutton
You: or lamb
You: cheese on top of that shpherds pie?
Stranger: roast dinner with a fine glass of red
You: veg on the side…broccoli, carrots, peas or green beans?
Stranger: beans
You: merlot, cabernet sauvignon or pinot noir?
Stranger: cab
You: pudding?
Stranger: sure why not
You: chocolate fudge cake, cheesecake, sorbet or apple pie?
Stranger: good old apple pie
You: extra cinnamon?
Stranger: no
You: ice cream or cream?
Stranger: i was about to say can you make it a la mode
You: coffee and mints?
Stranger: just the mints thanks
You: pipe?
Stranger: no
Stranger: i dont smoke
You: welll…i give you 8.5/10 for good taste….good taste being cloase to my taste which probably isn’t that good at all….
Stranger: awwwee
Stranger: thanks
You: considering you started the conversation with “VAGINA” I’m pleasantly surprised
You: nice talking with you, eat and drink well, for life is too short…
Stranger: had to get you goin somehow
Stranger: oh definitely
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Submitted by Cheryl from New Zealand
(42 votes, score: 3.67)
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