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Archive for July, 2011

Camp Crystal Lake

July 31st, 2011
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: *stares at you from behind a mask*
Stranger: ok
You: *breathes heavily*
Stranger: ok
You: *grips machete tightly*
Stranger: ok
Stranger: i run
You: *tilts head to one side*
Stranger: and got away
You: *decides whether or not to kill you*
Stranger: you are to slow
You: *tilts head to one side*
Stranger: i am gone
You: *stares*
You: *chases*
You: *corners you*
You: *breathes heavily*
Stranger: heyy im on a fligth to switzerland now, you cant catch me
You: *is on flight with you*
You: *sits next to you*
You: *turns head towards you*
Stranger: whhhhaat
You: *breathes heavily*
You: *stares*
Stranger: i got a parachute
You: *stares*
You: *tilts head to one side*
Stranger: *jumps off the plane*
You: * jumps after you*
Stranger: *drags up bazoka*
You: *stares while falling*
Stranger: *drags up gun*
Stranger: shooting you in the eyes
You: *pulls up machete*
You: *swings wildly*
Stranger: haha, now you cant stare at me
You: *breathes at you*
Stranger: *draging iin your breath*
You: *we hit the ground*
You: *BOOM! goes me*
You: *you fall gracefully*
Stranger: *landed in a bed*
You: *gets up, dusts off knees*
You: *pulls up machete*
You: *chases*
Stranger: in the bed its a horny girl
You: O_O
You: *takes off mask*
You: *talks to horny girl*
Stranger: * fucks the girl*
You: *stabs you*
You: *throws you off the girl*
You: *jumps on the girl myself*
Stranger: horny girl squirtes on you
You: *breathes heavily*
You: *stabs girl*
You: *turns head towards you*
You: *puts mask back on*
Stranger: *lays me under the bed*
You: *looks under bed*
Stranger: *back onthe top*
You: *fold bed in half with you in it*
Stranger: *starts fucking the bed*
You: *starts stabbing the bed*
You: *stares with no eyes*
Stranger: *says omg*
You: *raises machete slowly*
You: *brings it down across your neck*
Stranger: *standig still*
You: *walks off to kill again in the fiftieth sequel*
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Jason from USA

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (18 votes, score: 4.22)
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Fanboy Flamewar

July 31st, 2011
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: u got xbox live?
Stranger: no playstation network
You: steve?
Stranger: no…
You: steve
You: steve
Stranger: who the fuck is steve?
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: stevestevestevestevestevestevesteve
Stranger: COD MW2
You: i has it
You: OMG ITS SEXY
Stranger: me 2
You: XBOX?
Stranger: no ps3 moron
You: BOOOOOO
You: why ps3?
You: tell me why
Stranger: HD
You: i demend to know
Stranger: BLU-RAY
You: hd on xbox nobface
Stranger: HDMI
Stranger: NOT 1080P
You: hdmi on xbox nob head
You: yes it is
You: im using it now
Stranger: no way check out dragon age origins
Stranger: but you dont have blu ray
You: blu ray
You: who watches blu ray?
You: sure not me when i had my ps3
Stranger: games on a 25 gig disc a HD
You: damn what a waste of £400
Stranger: xbox is just dvd
You: and, just download of internet
Stranger: 315 euros
Stranger: 250 GB
You: its not hard
Stranger: haha
Stranger: bigger harddisc
You: suck on my better controller
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
Stranger: your controller has an ugly white brick under it…
You: mines black like u
You: cuz ur gay
Stranger: fuckin irritating d-pad
You: not really
You: better than urs
Stranger: a,b,x and y like FUCKING NINTENDO
You: nintendo is awesome u dick
Stranger: fuck nintendo
Stranger: i have a psp
You: i have both cheap ass
Stranger: only mario is cool the wii sucks
Stranger: i had a ds
You: wii is cool
Stranger: and a gameboy
You: gameftw u cant deny it
Stranger: but the gamecube and wi sucked
You: gamecube rocks
You: faggot
You: stevestevestevestevestevestevesteve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
Stranger: ugly brick in ugly purple
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
Stranger: ps2 was way better and earlier
Stranger: with dvd
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: once again why watch dvd, just download
You: its not hard
Stranger: if you download games you cant play online
Stranger: faggot
Stranger: why then you have mw2?
You: not games u dick
You: films!
Stranger: yes i have them too
You: download film
You: not games
Stranger: but i dont buy blurays movies
You: good
You: ps3 sucks ass
Stranger: only games, and those are printed on bluray
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: yeh but they on xbox 2 wich renderes ur 50gb disc useless
Stranger: how many processors has the xbox?
You: cuz they have to fit on dvd too
You: dunno im not sad
Stranger: 250 gb
Stranger: dickhead
Stranger: ps3 has 4
You: and u need 4 why?
Stranger: and uses only 2 or 3 because it is made for the future in two years the xbox is old
Stranger: and there be the 720
You: face it ps3 sucks as
You: ps3 sucks assps3 sucks assps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks assps3 sucks assps3 sucks assps3 sucks assps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks assps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
Stranger: NO FUCK YOU
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks assps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks assps3 sucks assps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks assps3 sucks assps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: ps3 sucks ass
You: steve?
You: steve
You: steve steve steve steve steve steve steve
You: steve steve steve steve steve
Stranger: you know what i frag you on mw2
You: steve
You: totaly
You: steve
Stranger: wait untill ps3 and xbox can game together
Stranger: and xbox live is not free like playstation network
You: playstation network = shit
You: no partys
Stranger: its free
Stranger: thats all i need to say
You: haha u cant talk to people on a differant game to u
Stranger: averything for free
You: id pay 40quid just for that
Stranger: yes
You: yeh but it isnt everything is it
Stranger: i can
Stranger: yes it is
You: steve
Stranger: you can talk to people in another game
You: how can u
You: u can chat
You: but only when ur not on a game
You: and thats on 1 on 1
Stranger: yes when you are on you can chat and send messages
You: oo send messages how gay is that
Stranger: and chat
You: and chat u cant be on a game in
Stranger: buy glasses fag
Stranger: yes u can
Stranger: maybe on the older version
You: well err…. elias is gay
Stranger: usb connection?
You: usb connection for what?
Stranger: for memory sticks i pods cameras
Stranger: etc etc etc
You: we have 3
You: how many u got ?
You: 2
You: of sorry
Stranger: you can connect everything to it???
You: yes
Stranger: 4
You: 4 only on 60gig
You: and they stopped that
Stranger: on teh backside you fucker i have an hub
You: oo extra money
Stranger: no i have four
You: we can have hubs too
Stranger: its on my controller loadr
You: oh whats that ur gay
You: i thort so
Stranger: fuck that
Stranger: xbox doesnt have uncharted
You: fuck what
You: ur dad?
Stranger: doesnt have gran turismo
You: uncharted is well, gay
You: we have forza
Stranger: but that faggy little forzacrap
You: forza is wayyyy better
You: steve
Stranger: gran turismo 5 has more than 1200 cars and more leagues
Stranger: maybe motorbikes
Stranger: crash damge data
You: so, what doesnt mean gameplay is better
Stranger: yes
You: forza much more fun
Stranger: its way bette
Stranger: and its HD
You: not RRREEEEALLLEEHHH
You: forza is hd u faggot
Stranger: 1080P
Stranger: 1080P
Stranger: 1080P
Stranger: 1080P
Stranger: 1080P
Stranger: 1080P
Stranger: 1080P
Stranger: 1080P
Stranger: 1080P
Stranger: 1080P
Stranger: 1080P
Stranger: 1080P
Stranger: 1080P
Stranger: not 1080i
You: ooo a slight differance on color
You: what a shame
Stranger: its muh sharper
Stranger: and deeper
You: nope
You: same resolution on i as p
You: p just natural colors
You: so its the same sharpnuss
You: steve
Stranger: cucumber
You: steve steve steve steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: cucumber
You: u put those in ur ass at night?
Stranger: in ur ass!:P
You: nah ur ass i said it first faggot
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: oo yay i got a trophie wow
Stranger: ps3
You: is gay
Stranger: ps3 got tv channels
Stranger: ooooh
You: why not just use tv?
You: or freeview wich is built in to ur tv
Stranger: when you are gaming:P
Stranger: you are right
Stranger: fag
You: xbox has sky tv also
You: which is free unlike play tv
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve steve
You: steve steve steve
You: steve steve steve
You: steve steve steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: steve steve steve steve steve steve steve
You: steve steve steve steve
You: steve steve
You: steve
You: steve steve steve steve steve
You: steve steve steve
You: steve steve steve
You: steve steve
You: steve
You: steve
You: so i see u shut up
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Nick from England

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (32 votes, score: 1.91)
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The Fetus of Dick Cheney

July 24th, 2011
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: hi
Stranger: IDENTIFY YOURSELF
You: cia agent pierre thomas ss:433-72-1132 DOB: 11-14-67
You: charlie?
Stranger: yes
You: o ok
Stranger: I’ve procured the device
You: did you crack the SIcN or do need it?
Stranger: I dont do crack anymore, you know that.
You: i thought you brought ghost with you
Stranger: Ghost had to be taken care of.
You: thank you i thought i was the only one to feel that
You: so what did you find on the device
Stranger: Let me tell you something first.
Stranger: You tell ANYBODY.
Stranger: I’ll simply have you killed.
You: you have my word boss
Stranger: Good.
You: so?
Stranger: The device is this key to our world domination.
You: how boss?
Stranger: I’ve discovered the secrets to time travel.
Stranger: This device makes it all possible.
You: dont we have a team researching that back at HQ
Stranger: You fool!
Stranger: The HQ is a front for our operations!
Stranger: They have no idea!
You: thats why were manipulating their work force
Stranger: They have no idea their 401k plans are tanking. Muhahaha!
You: you know whats next, right boss?
Stranger: Spare me your tripe.
Stranger: I need you to do something for me.
You: sure anything
Stranger: I need you to research which stocks showed the greatest gains between the years 1956 and today.
You: ill get to it
Stranger: Are you finished yet? This is why you were recommended to me.
Stranger: I have very little patience for this behavior.
You: since 1956 not alot of stocks have existed but the greastest gains were achieved by gold, oil, and ford
Stranger: Hmm. Well done.
Stranger: The monetary gains are strictly secondary to our primary objective.
You: i dont recall?
Stranger: TO STOP DICK CHENEY FROM BEING BORN
Stranger: or living whatever
You: KILL THE FETUS!!!!
You: BODY
You: we should capture their leader
You: the nigger
Stranger: I make the decisions here.
You: just suggesting boss
Stranger: You can save your suggestions to yourself.
You: sure thing
Stranger: Now meet me at the club at 11:00 tonight.
Stranger: We have business to discuss.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by desmondS from USA

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (17 votes, score: 3.71)
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Poor Billy

July 24th, 2011
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: One day, billy was walking down the road
Stranger: and?
You: and he died
You: you happy now?
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Riku from Canada

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (23 votes, score: 4.09)
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Duck With a Monocle

July 24th, 2011
Connecting to server…
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Beware
You: A duck is watching you
Stranger: haha
You: It’s wearing a monocle
Stranger: where is he?
You: Hiding
You: I tried to find him yesterday
Stranger: tell me where!
You: but he vanished in a puff of pink smoke, yelling “WOOF!”
Stranger: maybe it was a dog?
You: Nope, definitly a duck
You: He had a tail
Stranger: how are you so sure?
Stranger: dogs have tails
You: Yes, but Ducks have fur
Stranger: a poodle?
You: It had a beak as well
You: And was biting me with its sharp teeth
Stranger: anyway, where are you from?
You: I can’t say, it might be listening to this conversation
You: NOWHERE IS SAFE
Stranger: are you high?
You: I’m always like this
You: WHEN THEY’RE WATCHING ME
You: SO THAT THEY WON’T KNOW WHO I AM
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Riku from Canada

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (18 votes, score: 3.94)
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