Archive

Archive for April, 2011

Demise of The Oracle

April 26th, 2011
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: Hellooo
Stranger: i am an all knowing oracle. you may ask one question.
You: Hmm…
You: Gimme a sec
You: Is the answer to this question no?
Stranger: *head explodes*
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by The Predator from Iceland

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (57 votes, score: 4.70)
Loading ... Loading ...

Massively Effective

April 26th, 2011
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hello
You: Holy shit i want fucked.
Stranger: eh?
Stranger: i think your verb tense is off
Stranger: or you are missing a couple words
You: Holy shit! You know! Like the fourth part of the inappropriatly named trinity!
Stranger: wait…
Stranger: what?
Stranger: speak sense damn you!
You: Sense! In the form of a DIRECT COMMAND!
Stranger: ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL
You: RIGHT OF DIRECT CONTROL CONTESTED!
Stranger: the reapers are the real threat
You: OUTCOME PENDING!
You: Damn reapers. They don’t understand what they’re doing to us!
Stranger: Yes they do
You: Damn. So close.
Stranger: they set up the mass relays so that every few millenia galactic civilization will reach a point where they are ready to harvest it
You: Genius! If evil had a benchmark before this plan, consider it blown out of the water. Can we win? Or at least fight the good fight?
Stranger: Some think not
Stranger: but we have Commander Shepard on our side
Stranger: he saved the Citidel when the Sovreign attacked
Stranger: *Citadel
You: Send them to the gallows! Traitorous swine! Shepard! You can’t go wrong with a Shepard on your side.
Stranger: Well we suspect he may be working with Cerberus now
You: No way?! Surely your intel is mistaken! I simply can’t believe this.
Stranger: Well we were wrong about him being dead
Stranger: but he has been seen in the company of one of Cerberus’ top agents recently
You: A glimmer of hope in this forsaken world we find ourselves trapped in. Followed immediately by a crushing blow to the pareital region of ones skull.
Stranger: indeed
Stranger: whatever you just said
Stranger: indeed
You: You sir. . You are the last hope aren’t you. . It’s you! I believe in you! I’ll push on for you and the hope you hold!
Stranger: Well we are screwed then
Stranger: because im leaving
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Trinity from New Zealand

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (14 votes, score: 4.00)
Loading ... Loading ...

Huge Knob

April 26th, 2011
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hey
You: asl
Stranger: I HAVE A HUGE KNOB.
You: door?
Stranger: does that answer your question?
Stranger: a huge dick
Stranger: no like
You: Dick? like robert?
Stranger: no
Stranger: twig and berries
Stranger: my wedding tackle
You: I like blueberries
You: i like fishing also
Stranger: no like
Stranger: my genitalia
Stranger: my tool
Stranger: my cock
You: Hammer?
You: Chicken?
Stranger: UGH so what do you like to do in your free time
You: Make people frustrated
Stranger: orly
Stranger: do you have a girlfriend
You: Working on it right now
Stranger: well give up
You: You first
Stranger: i have a girlfriend already i fuck atleast twice a day
You: That must hurt your penis
Stranger: i have a strong knob
You: door?
Stranger: no like
Stranger: a huge dick
You: Dick? like Robert?
Stranger: YOUR AN IDIOT IF YOU DONT KNOW WHAT DICKS ARE JUST DIE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Kevin from USA

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (93 votes, score: 4.58)
Loading ... Loading ...

Free Association

April 26th, 2011
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: kitten sauce.
You: panda bamboo
Stranger: shampoo burgers.
You: time pigs
Stranger: saucy old men.
You: witty drained old lady
Stranger: Snazzelled monkey snub.
You: smelly dead poets society
Stranger: Yumush crabby man tits
You: short midget’s female penis
Stranger: Tall midgets technology swazzle.
You: black stinky puppeteer
Stranger: Flame infested sword eater.
You: soul food grained bread
Stranger: White swagger milk fag.
You: pink wanker dreams
Stranger: Shiny bear suckers.
You: back in time bj’s
Stranger: Care bear infestation.
You: handicapped hobbits invasion
Stranger: smelly crank jews.
You: lousy sensitive arabs
You: ok, dude can’t keep this up anymore
You: it was fun :D
Stranger: lmfao.
Stranger: yes.
Stranger: This is going online and on facebook.
You: sure thing. make us famous, mate
Stranger: Sounds good!
You: :D take care of hobbits dude
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Katherina from Ukraine

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (35 votes, score: 4.17)
Loading ... Loading ...

Facing The Minotaur

April 26th, 2011
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: Hi
You: wanna play a game?
Stranger: hi
Stranger: yup
You: You are in a spacious, dimly lit cavern. Fading torches, little more than embers now, blaze dully in their fixtures. On the ground nearby you see an unlit lantern, a rusty sword, and a potted shrub. there is a cold, musty tunnel leading north, and there seems to be light trickling in from a crevice to the east.
Stranger: so ?
You: awaiting input…
Stranger: pick up sword, light the shrub and hence lantern and head towards east
You: you pick up the sword and shrub, using a torch to ignite it as well as the unlit lantern
You: You discover you are too big to fit through the crevice
Stranger: in that case head north
You: you begin to tread the northern passage.
You: Suddenly, a minotaur blocks your path
You: It glares warily at you
Stranger: okay i’ll SOS Theseus ;)
Stranger: jokes apart
You: A rift in time opens, sucking you into the cold vacum of space. you have died.
You: You are in a spacious, dimly lit cavern. Fading torches, little more than embers now, blaze dully in their fixtures. On the ground nearby you see an unlit lantern, a rusty sword, and a potted shrub. there is a cold, musty tunnel leading north, and there seems to be light trickling in from a crevice to the east.
Stranger: dodge him using lantern
Stranger: and killusing sword and head on
You: by applying directly to the forhead?
Stranger: head on means move on forward
You: directly to the forhead?
Stranger: depends what’s suitable at the moment
You: your own needs do not dictate reality!
You: which you’ve apparently failed to notice, as you died a while back
You: “A rift in time opens, sucking you into the cold vacum of space. you have died.”
Stranger: i ignored intentionally
You: what did intentionally do to deserve that?
Stranger: fighting bravely
You: wrong tense now…
Stranger: fought bravely
You: thank you, but I still find myself unable to comprehed your response
You: given the context
Stranger: tell me whats present, am I dead or Alive
You: You are in a spacious, dimly lit cavern. Fading torches, little more than embers now, blaze dully in their fixtures. On the ground nearby you see an unlit lantern, a rusty sword, and a potted shrub. there is a cold, musty tunnel leading north, and there seems to be light trickling in from a crevice to the east.
Stranger: ok i use the sword to widen crevice and get away
You: your inexpert excavation causes a portion of the ceiling to cave in. you have died.
You: You are in a spacious, dimly lit cavern. Fading torches, little more than embers now, blaze dully in their fixtures. On the ground nearby you see an unlit lantern, a rusty sword, and a potted shrub. there is a cold, musty tunnel leading north, and there seems to be light trickling in from a crevice to the east.
Stranger: i move on as in the first time and face the minotaur kill him and move forward
You: fool, I AM the minotaur!
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Spoon Horse from USA

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (12 votes, score: 4.50)
Loading ... Loading ...