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Archive for January, 2011

Daughter in a Box

January 31st, 2011
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hey hey
Stranger: mom?!
You: nah bitch
You: i’m yo daddy
Stranger: D: dad?! i thought u were stationed in afghanistan?!
You: well, there’s another muthafuckin lie from your damn whore mother
Stranger: well, on the bright side, i moved out. i got my own place now. :D
You: what, in a shitty box on the side of the fuckin road?
You: WITH RATS AS YO NEIGHBORS?
Stranger: ….its all i could afford!
Stranger: i thought youd be proud!
You: no words for you
You: i’m over here bustin my ass
Stranger: where are you?!
You: to get you andyo bitch ass muvva some beans
Stranger: …could you pick me up a blanket? its cold outside…
You: i’m in connecticut
Stranger: ….me too….
Stranger: O_O
You: exactly
You: I’M CLOSE TO HOME
Stranger: good. make me a sandwich.
You: ooh you didn’t just say that
You: make ME a sandwitch
Stranger: im sorry! what was i thinking!
Stranger: NEVER.
Stranger: MAKE YOUR OWN GODDAMN SANDWICH.
You: GET YO SLUTTY MUTHA TO MAKE BOTHA US SANDWITCHES
You: that bitch
Stranger: agreed.
Stranger: ill call her up.
You: good
You: tell her to send me one in the mail
Stranger: she said that you need to call her.
You: damn
You: tell her i just died
Stranger: okayy…
Stranger: shes crying… gimme a minute to get her to make some sandwiches.
You: get that bitch a tissue!
Stranger: IM IN MY BOX!
Stranger: IM 52 MILES AWAY!
You: don’t WANT ANY FUCKIN TEARY SAMMICHES
Stranger: true true. ill start jogging…
You: alright, don’t get shot
You: you got your magnum?
Stranger: yepp;\]
You: alright, good
Stranger: ill bring my laptop.
Stranger: to keep you updated;
You: fair enough
You: tell her to make mine with turky
Stranger: okay.
You: BUT NO FUCKIN MAYO
You: i hate that shit
Stranger: i put that shit in her toothpaste tube. (:
Stranger: but anyways… im now 40 miles away. just ran 12 miles.
You: i knew you were my offspring
You: loving your mother the way i always did
Stranger: :D that bitch
You: and you got legs like superman, running 12 miles in 2 minutes
Stranger: i get it from you daddyy (:
You: if only i could remember what your fuckin gender was
You: i’ve been gone for 14 years
Stranger: i–i think im a girl…
You: you think!?
You: what is this?
You: WHEEL OF FORTUNE?!
Stranger: … depends, do i win money?
Stranger: cause if i do, then yes, this is wheel of fortune.
You: if you give me 80%
Stranger: 10 miles away.
Stranger: okay. deal.
You: yesss
You: daddy’s getting some new pants
Stranger: yes he is :D
Stranger: IM HOME. brb. gotta get momma on those sandwiches.
You: alright, REMEMBER, no teary fucking bitchass shit on my bread
Stranger: back. they were all soggy so i threw them at the bitch and told her to make us some new ones. she asked about you (since she thinks your dead) and i told her im bringing it to your grave.
Stranger: cause i know you dont like mayo (:
You: that’s mah girl!
Stranger: k. i got the sandwiches. and im coming.
Stranger: where are you again/
You: i’m like… 20 miles away from your box
Stranger: alright. so that 72 miles of travel for me.
Stranger: here i come.
You: i’ll run half way, unless you want to meet at your box
You: i’d like a tour
Stranger: yeah sure. i got super man legs.
Stranger: alrighty.
Stranger: ill be there in 2.5 seconds.
Stranger: k im there.
You: hey you
Stranger: hi dad!
Stranger: can i have a hug? :D
You: give me my fuckin sandwich first
Stranger: .. alright. here.
You: come here! “hug”
Stranger: awwww. :’)
Stranger: i love you dad.
You: i love you too, and remember, i’m dead… so no talking about this with your mother slut
Stranger: okay. ill remember. is your sandwich good?
You: i don’t taste any tears or fuckin mayo
You: so it’s amazing
You: that bitch could do something right
Stranger: well, theres a first for everything.
Stranger: (:
You: yeah… it was 48 years ago that i’ve had one of her sandwiches
Stranger: well, nothings changed…. bbesides the fact that she uses rye bread now.
You: ah
You: i thought there was a fucking difference
Stranger: yes. yes there was.
You: OH GOD
Stranger: what?!
You: is that a speck of MAYONNAISE?
You: GODDAMN
Stranger: THAT FUCKING WHORE!\
Stranger: IM GOING TO HAVE TO BREAK HER COLLARBBONE ONCE I GET HOME.
You: THAT BITCH GONNA GET FUCKIN SMACKED WITH SOMETHING HEAVY
Stranger: Anvil?
Stranger: Piano?
Stranger: George Bush?
You: no…
You: heavier
You: …hmmm
Stranger: Cena?
You: the internet
Stranger: that might kill her!
Stranger: i want her to suffer!
You: …not if we use it properly…
Stranger: true true.
You: alright, this’ll be difficult
You: we have to put it in a box
You: LET’S USE YOUR BOXHOUSE
Stranger: NOT MY BOX! D:
You: sacrifices
You: mus
You: …t
You: be made
You: to take
You: that bitch
You: out
Stranger: b-but…. okay.
Stranger: goodbye boxie
Stranger: imma miss my rat buddies.
You: i’ll get you a new box
Stranger: with cardboard flaps?!
You: no…
Stranger: d:
Stranger: D:
You: WITH CARBOARD FLAPS AND A HOLE IN THE SIDE
Stranger: :DDDD
Stranger: YOU UST BE MY FATHER.
Stranger: MUST*
You: I AM
Stranger: I KNOW. I LOVE IT.
You: “another HUG to celebrate the moment”
Stranger: :’)
Stranger: i love you dad.
You: i love you too… offspring of mine
Stranger: :’DD
You: oh god… i think this… i think this mayo just…
You: i think it’s starting to clog my blood ‘flow…
Stranger: NO!
Stranger: please dont die!
You: I’M SORRY MY DAUGHTER
You: i think you’lll…ll..you’ll have to…
You: take the task of… of…
You: avenging me…
You: use the internet on.. your… your…
You: bitttchhassss slu…
Stranger: ANYTHING FOR YOU DAD!
You: slutty fuckin…
You: mothe- agh
You: “dies”
Stranger: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stranger: I WILL NOT FAL YOU.
Stranger: FAIL*
You: “still dead”
Stranger: I WILL MAKE THAT MOTHER FUCKING BITCH SUFFER AND MAKE HER REGRET PUTTING THAT OUNCE OF MAYO IN YOUR SANDWICH. I WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN!
You: “the wind blows my lips to make a pocket of air escape… creating a sound… that sounds like a phrase”
You: “i love you daughter, kill that bitch”
You: “explodes”
Stranger: I will daddy! I love you too! I will kill that slutty hoe!
Stranger: *we both die because of explosion*
You: *damn*
Stranger: *and the whore dies*
You: *yess*
Stranger: *so this is a happy ending*
Stranger: *(:*
You: *fuckin shitbagmom*
You: *:D*
Stranger: *im glad that bitch is dead*
Stranger: *see you in hell dadddy!*
You: *MAKE ROOM FOR ME IN YOUR HELL BOX*
Stranger: *dont you worry. theres plenty of rooom*
You: in memory of- a beautiful daughter and proud loving father
Stranger: “who tried so hard to kill their exwife/mother, but accidentally exploded her but were happy about it because she was a bitch & they wanted me to engrave in this stone that it was worth dying for”
You: Quotes on grave – “motherfuckin mayo bitch”
Stranger: Quotes under the quotes on the grave- “agreed”
You: ~END~
You: *audience applauds*
Stranger: some douche throws mayonnaise at the stage
You: he implodes
You: fucker
Stranger: :D this was BY FAR the best omegle convo ive EVER HAD.
You: hahaha
You: yeah, i’m proud of this one
Stranger: me too. hehehehe.
You: this could be turned into a movie
Stranger: it should.
You: it WILL.
You: maybe
Stranger: but it would get really bad reviews…. hahaha.
You: it really would, haha
You: i never cursed so much, wow
You: haha
Stranger: hahahhahaa. yes yes it would.
Stranger: i have. but ive never used it so wisely.
You: yeah, it was placed lovely in your sentences
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Logan from USA

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (47 votes, score: 4.17)
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The Old Bird Ninja Trap

January 31st, 2011
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: You wake up in a clearing in a forest. It’s night and the moon shines down upon you. To the east is a very tall tree, to the west you see a dim light. What do you do?
Stranger: i get up and walk down the path
You: A BIRD NINJA LUNGES AT YOU FROM THE SKY AND RIPS OUT YOUR ENTRAILS
You: THEN YOU DIE FROM BLOOD LOSS
You: THE END
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Jared from USA

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (25 votes, score: 3.12)
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Elephant MD

January 31st, 2011
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hi im an elephant
You: hi ima giraffe
Stranger: im so jealous of your patterns
Stranger: staring at you makes me think im on acid
You: im jealous of ur trunk. i wish something on me moved liek that..
Stranger: o ya
Stranger: penis looking things on ur face are totes attractive
You: well to other elephants.
You: the nice thing about us giraffes…
You: amazing deep throat
You: plenty of room
Stranger: giraffes have small penises tho
Stranger: so its not needed
You: it doesnt mean we only do it with other giraffes
Stranger: o
Stranger: who do you do it with/
You: just sucked off an elephant last week
You: personnal triumph
Stranger: interesting
Stranger: i congratulate you
You: yea it was.. a little confusing at first..
You: awe thanx
You: it was good in the ned though
You: end*
Stranger: did you use a condom?
You: …. well no, not rly..
Stranger: :o
Stranger: what if uget aids
Stranger: elephants dont rly shower
You: yea i know… but ya see we were in the moment..
You: and we wouldve had to leave themoment
You: and it was perfect.. yea we both decided we didnt care
Stranger: well u betta check yourself before u wreck yourself…
You: yea i know..
You: seriously now what is this? advice on elepahnt stds from soem random elephant
Stranger: wel
Stranger: l
Stranger: im a md
You: oh rly now. well isnt that piecen of advice conveniently placed
You: dammit meant info..
You: we get our nouns confused
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Bino from USA

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (14 votes, score: 3.50)
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The Number 17

January 31st, 2011
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: 1
Stranger: 2
You: 3
Stranger: 4
You: 5
Stranger: 6
You: 7
Stranger: 8
You: 9
Stranger: 10
You: 11
Stranger: 12
You: 13
Stranger: 14
You: 15
Stranger: 16
You: 17
Stranger: 17
You: FAIL
You have disconnected.

Submitted by JoCo from USA

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (36 votes, score: 4.36)
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Mike Litoris

January 31st, 2011
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: RING* RING*
Stranger: hello
You: Hello this is detective Mike Litoris
Stranger: hey Mike!
Stranger: what are you looking for?
You: we have just been given information that there is a dangerous prime ape
You: in your area
You: So please sir stay inside
You: this could get ugly
Stranger: thank you sir for this information
You: no need to thank me it just my job
You: *HIS JOB*
You: boom boom boom
You: Pow Pow
You: Boom
Stranger: boom
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by JoCo from USA

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (11 votes, score: 2.36)
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