Mutant Chairs and A Kenyan Krav Maga Specialist
December 25th, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: QUICK, A HUNGRY MUTANT CHAIR IS LUNGING FOR YOUR LEFT LEG, WHAT DO YOU DO?!?
Stranger: Hello there
Stranger: KICK IT IN THE FACE
Stranger: WITH MY
Stranger: ENERGY LEGS
You: your greeting is unaffective
You: but your kick shatters it’s entire infrastructure!
You: the splinters would have greatly harmed you, but you run as fst as KENYANS!
You: what next?
Stranger: BUT I GET DEPORTED BACK TO KENYA
You: in kenya, the mutant chair revolt is in full swing, they’ve even swayed EVERY POPCORN KERNAL IN KENYA to take part!
Stranger: I am also a member of the Russian Spetznaz.
Stranger: I use all my hatchets, while performing backflipping hatchet attacks!
Stranger: It rips the chairs appart
Stranger: But I have no weapons left
Stranger: BUT LUCKILY FOR ME
Stranger: I know Krav Maga
You: go on. the narrater is enraptured with your skillz
Stranger: -character backstory time-
Stranger: I was once a child
Stranger: Hard to believe I know
Stranger: But
Stranger: I had a bear, and I was depressed.
Stranger: So I moved to Russia where eveyone is nice. And happy. And will gladly shave your back for a dollar.
Stranger: I was then captured and forced to learn Krav Maga in the Spetznaz.
You: can you eat the soup right out of the ashtrays if you want to?
Stranger: It’s okay. They’re clean.
Stranger: But unknown to them, I am related to Dragonuv from Tekken
Stranger: I was amazing at Krav Maga
Stranger: But then, a rabbid chair killed my master
Stranger: So I swore to hunt them down all my life.
You: whereupon they all decided to become mutants to enhance the narrative, of course
Stranger: EXACTLY
Stranger: But now, my mother is being held hostage by seven of them.
You: and the plot thickens…
You: blub
You: blub
Stranger: HOW DO YOU BEAT THEM?!
You: -the secret to defeating the super- ultra mutant chair Queen is to…sit-
Stranger: NO.
Stranger: WAY.
Stranger: *sits down on the ground.*
Stranger: DIE CHAIR.
You: you have won THE GAME! you get 4 extra credits
Stranger: SCREW YOU. O.e
You: It’s ok, you’re free now
Stranger: I’m going to go use those credits on DDR. >.>
You: I don’t blame you
Stranger: Shit’s fun.
You: I usually play with a controller. whilst eating chocolate. Fat litterally DRIPS off in my sweat
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Submitted by Daniel from USA
(32 votes, score: 4.41)
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(26 votes, score: 3.77)