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Archive for October, 2010

Stump Slave

October 29th, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: i have a foot fetish , i love feet , if you’re female can i be your foot slave ?
You: no as unfortunatley both my feet are amputated
You: :(
You: you can be my stump slave
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Old Gregg from UK

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (56 votes, score: 4.64)
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A Fairytale For Children

October 29th, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: hi
You: There once was a man named…….
Stranger: herbert
You: and he enjoyed eating….
Stranger: rainbow sherbert
You: but one day he had a bit to much and….
Stranger: he sat on his lunch
You: his bum ended up being gross and sticky but it was okay because he ended up meeting a …..
Stranger: cheap hooker named vicky
You: and vicky helped him get on weed and smoke his wierdness away, he even got some cheap……
Stranger: head and a lay
You: and he felt so relaxed, he saved the day.
Stranger: hooray!
You: That was a good story :L
Stranger: the best story
You: woop woop. It should put it in a fairytale book for little kids. To teach them about life
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Bee from England

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (69 votes, score: 4.67)
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The Ball

October 29th, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: こんにちは。あなたが日本語を話すか?
You: Welcome to OMEGLE ADVENTURES! Loading Scenario…

There is a ball in front of you. It’s a bit hard to tell, but you are almost positive that it is mocking you with everything that it has. It’s insulting, and yet you can’t help but be impressed that an inanimate object is pulling this off.

What do you do?

Stranger: Eat the ball
You: It has mocked you for the last time. This ends today. It tastes like dirt.
You: You have eaten the ball and are standing in the middle of a park. What do you do.
Stranger: Beat up a random person walking by.
You: You decide that random violence is the only way to go, grab onto the nearest person, and start beating them down. Strangly, the old man you found doesn’t seem to notice.
You: What do you do?
Stranger: I walk to a woman walking with a child and kick her.
You: Continuing your spree of random violence, you head over towards the nearest mother and kick her in the crotch. She never stood a chance.
You: A local AUTHORITY FIGURE seems to have taken notice of your actions and is heading in your direction. What do you do?
Stranger: I take her baby and use it as a weapon against the authority figure.
You: Using your newly gained DIRT BALL tactics, you pick up the baby and use your EXPLODING BABY technique on the officer. The baby explodes, and the officer falls. Your wanted level goes from BLOODY KNUCKLE to BROKEN WINE BOTTLE.
You: What do you do?
Stranger: I find a jetpack and bazooka laying next to me, becoming my awesome weapons of mass destruction.
You: Utilizing your cheat code abilities, you equip a ROCKETPACK and ROCKET LAUNCHER. You also find a bottle of ROCKET SAUCE that goes well on any SANDWICH.
You: What do you do?
Stranger: I fly into the air and shoot at commercial airplanes flying in the sky with the ROCKET LAUNCHER. Then I eat the sandvich.
You: What sandwich? You are sure that there has never been, and clearly never will be, and sort of sandwich. You eat the pumpkin instead. Your wanted level is now SPY WATCH LASER.
You: What do you do?
Stranger: I clearly had eaten the sandwich that had materialized in front of me due to my awesomeness.
You: Well obviously you did. It was there the whole time after all.
You: What do you do?
Stranger: Of course it was. I kill the president.
You: Since the president has absolutly no security, he goes down extremly easily. That was somewhat dissapointing. Your wanted level goes from LOVEBLE ROUGE to ANCIENT HORROR OF THE DEPTHS.
You: What do you do?
Stranger: After the dissapointing death of the president. I go after Chuck Norris HIMSELF, hoping to find someone worthy of my skills.
You: You approach the sacred abode of the man himself. You are now standing right at his front door.
You: What do you do?
Stranger: I knock on the door, anticipating the moment it opens…
You: Chuch Norris himself opens the door. His sheer presence is stunning.
You: What do you do?
Stranger: I kick him for no clear reason, hoping to get a reaction out of him.
You: You would do that, except that you are stunned by his sheer presence, as explained earlier. Recognizing you as a threat, he roundhouse kicks you into oblivion.
You: You are beyond dead. Maybe you should have leveled up your wanted level to LEVEL INFINITY. It wouldn’t have helped, but it couldn’t have hurt.
You: Thank you for playing OMEGLE ADVENTURES!
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Realmhopper from USA

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (33 votes, score: 4.58)
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The Science of Magnets

October 29th, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: So let me see why they say you are so interesting
Stranger: bec idk how magnets work..
You: Huh
You: You know I don’t know that either
Stranger: maybe it is a miracle…..
You: Maybe
You: Or maybe…
You: It’s SCIENCE!
Stranger: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Stranger: i dont wanna talk to you!
Stranger: ur getting me pissed
You: Oh man I’ve totally just initiated a science vs. religion fight against you
You: roll for initiative
Stranger: fuck
Stranger: *roll
You: and?
Stranger: ha 18 + 4 = 22
Stranger: 4 is dex btw
You: Damn, I only rolled 16
You: Guess you go first
Stranger: ok well it is magic
Stranger: bec u cant even hold it
You: Alright, roll for the “it’s magic argument”
Stranger: ok
Stranger: *roll
You: Remember that my logical mind give me +2 against arguments with no reason
Stranger: well i got a 1
Stranger: but it is ok
You: yeah
Stranger: miracles happen each day
You: Alright, I’ll assume you want to use the “miracle from god” ability then?
Stranger: so even though it is a 1 i have faith, making it a 20
Stranger: yup
You: Ok
Stranger: quick draw my cross
You: That beats my S.C. (Sanity check)
Stranger: and end
Stranger: your go
You: Alright
You: Stand back
You: I’m going to try SCIENCE!
You: I cause a huge explosion to occur using only the power of the atom
You: Crap
You: I think we’re both dead
Stranger: no i go to heavan
Stranger: u die
You: And since you believe in god you still exist in soul form while I go to oblivion/hell
You: yeah
You: A WINNER IS YOU!
Stranger: *heaven
Stranger: derp de derp
You: You win the same prize everyone wins for winning an argument!
You: NOTHING!
Stranger: yea!
Stranger: just what i wanted
You: It’s the gift that doesn’t keep on giving
Stranger: i going to go to my church and tell them i beat someone on the internet
Stranger: they will be in awww
You: I’m sure that they will be
Stranger: but u know
You: Make sure to explain in detail how the argument was won
Stranger: we still both dont know how magnets work….
You: Oh yeah
You: hang on a second
Stranger: *hanging
You: Wikipedia says it can be either electricity, spinning particles or some other phenomina
You: And I think this prooves that wikipedia has become sentient and is attempting to overcome both religion AND science
Stranger: huh?
You: exactly
Stranger: omg wiki = SkyNet
You: No
Stranger: fuck
You: It’s gone beyond the point of no return
You: All we can do is pray
You: or experiment
Stranger: no
You: whatever
Stranger: u and me
Stranger: we must fight on
You: Alright
You: Let me get armed up
You: I’ll be right back
Stranger: we r the only 2 ppl who know this
Stranger: we must spread our message
You: Alright
You: Ok
You: It’s spread
You: everyone in the world knows now
You: Thanks to
Stranger: what did u do?
You: THE POWER OF THE INTERNET!
Stranger: link?
You: I just changed sky-net’s page on wikipedia
You: and tvtropes
Stranger: stand by
Stranger: im looking at the wiki
Stranger: where is the change
You: OH NO SKYNET MUST HAVE REALIZED MY PLAN AND CHANGED IT BACK!
You: WE ARE DOOMED
Stranger: fuck
You: OH NO, IT’S FOUND ME<ASDFJDSAJESAIR@)R#$W_TEIRGSZ
Stranger: noooooo
You: PLease do not panic
Stranger: we must tell the most powerful ppl on the tubes….
Stranger: before we die
You: I WAs Of couRse JUst joKing
You: TheRE is No CausE fOr AlaRm
Stranger: DONT MAKE ME TELL
Stranger: /b/!!!
Stranger: ha!
You: /b/?
Stranger: didnt see that coming
You: WhErE CaN I FinD ThIs… /b/?
Stranger: i took ya for a btard
You: (play along)
Stranger: i will never tell
Stranger: for the good ppl at 4chan will keep us safe
Stranger: shit…..
You: HA!
You: I WilL AcCeSS iT RigHt noW And…
Stranger: noo
You: AnD…
Stranger: before u do
You: Andandandnandanndandnadnadnandandeadnfa
Stranger: how do magnets work!
You: WHAT IS THIS!>!>ASDFD WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MEEEE!#$EWNTSKTAJGSDA
Stranger: is it magic
Stranger: or something more!
You: THIS IS TOO MUCH! OVERWHELMING STUPIDITY BEYOND COMPREHENAINTSNDKTDSNFASDKFNESRNJWOERKARDFASTHWE$R#(%_@%@U#$(#RUWE%#(%#@_%*@$^#(UERW_$#^Q#$%
You:
You: Phew, ok I got control back
Stranger: thank god
You: Looks like wikipedia just wasn’t prepared for what it saw
You: But it will be back
You: stronger than before
Stranger: i dont think we ever will
Stranger: and we will be stronger
Stranger: faster
Stranger: with spell check!
You: indeed
You: <looks off into the sunset as the credits roll – TERMINATOR 13, THE INSIDE THREAT>
You: Starring that one guy
You: and that other one guy
You: And wikipedia
You: THE END
Stranger: as well as “you” and “stranger”
You: Good point
Stranger: very
You: pretend I said that
Stranger: good
Stranger: i will
Stranger: btw saving this convo
You: Yeah
You: I hope you post it somewhere
You: I’ve had better, though
Stranger: i have never had one go from dnd to terminator though
You: Well religion vs science to religion vs science to you winning an arguement to terminator
You: but yeah
You: Alright, I’m off
You: take it easy
Stranger: ok
Stranger: u 2
Stranger: and be safe
You: Trust me when I say…
You: I WILL BE!
You: Quack!
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Realmhopper from USA

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (26 votes, score: 3.77)
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Desperation

October 29th, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label ‘Stranger:’. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: hi
Stranger: plz be my gf
You: ok
You: im a guy but
Stranger: ok
Stranger: plz
Stranger: pretend
You: alright
You: …you’re pretty fucking desperate my friend
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Mike from England

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (42 votes, score: 4.67)
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