June 16th, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Ask me anything
You: You awake to find yourself lying on the ground. You canâ€™t seem to remember how you got there. As you struggle to pull yourself to your feet, vague memories of a falling rock come to mind. Gingerly, you touch the back of your head. The congealed blood on your hand confirms the memory.
You: Looking around, you notice that you are on the edge of a steep cliff. To the south, the road is blocked by a pile of boulders. To the west, an unclimbable cliff rises up above you. To the east, the ground drops sharply away to reveal a tree-lined valley, miles below. The road to the north is clear. What will you do?
Stranger: Head North
You: You stagger northward. After some time, the road widens out. Examining the cliff wall to the west, you notice what appears to be a cave.
Stranger: Head West and Enter cave
You: You approach the cave and cautiously step inside. It is too dark to see. You can hear an odd noise.
Stranger: Follow the noise
You: Blindly, you stumble through the darkness in the direction of the strange sound. Your feet bump into something warm and soft. It seems to be moving slightly.
Stranger: Step on it
You: You foolishly plant a foot on the soft, warm thing. The odd, gurlgling noise suddenly turns into a loud, horrible growl. Too late, you realise you have woken a hibernating bear. It is now a very awake, very hungry, very angry bear.
You: The growling is getting louder. It is becoming a snarl.
Stranger: Deliver a roundhouse kick to the bears testicles
You: You valiantly attempt to disable the bear with a sharp kick to the private parts. Inconveniently, however, as it is still too dark to see, you succeed only in kicking it’s stomach. It is now even more angry, but in no way disabled.
Stranger: Kick the bear In the Shin and Run towards the entrance of the cave
You: You quickly fling another foot at what you can only hope is the bear’s shin, and then run like hell for the exit. From the howl that eminates behind you, it sounds like you might have got it right this time.
You: You make it back to the cliff path, but there are some disturbing noises coming from the direction of the cave. It might not be wise to hang around here.
Stranger: Exit the cave and walk south while screaming “Come on bear, come and get me!”
You: You head south, back to where you came from.
You: You are on the edge of a steep cliff. To the south, the road is blocked by a pile of boulders. To the west, an unclimbable cliff rises up above you. To the east, the ground drops sharply away to reveal a tree-lined valley, miles below. The road to the north is blocked by the looming sillouhette of a very, very angry bear.
Stranger: Head ease to the edge of the cliff and stop. Taunt the bear while yelling “HAHAHA your a stupid bear”
You: You are standing on tiptoe at the edge of the cliff. You can feel the warm up-draft from the valley below on the back of your legs. A very, very angry bear is here. It is glaring at you. It seems to be foaming at the mouth.
You: Slowly, the bear approaches.
Stranger: Wait until the bear is about to attack and leap out of its path of attack
You: The bear is furious, but it has not forgotten it’s experiences in the cave. It does it’s best to knock you down while simultaneously maintaining it’s distance. The result is a feeble swipe which you easily side-step.
You: ou are on the edge of a steep cliff. To the south, the road is blocked by a pile of boulders. To the west, an unclimbable cliff rises up above you. To the east, there is a furious bear. The road to the north is clear.
Stranger: Step around the bear and deliver a swift kick to the groin in broad daylight, then attempt to push of the cliff
You: Caught by surprise, the bear watches in horror as you foot lands in a very sensitive area of it’s anatomy. You feel a tremendous sensation of relief as it slips backwards over the cliff. That is, you feel relieved until you realise the bear has managed to get a firm grip on your leg.
You: You are falling though the air, A furious, terrified bear is clinging to your leg.
Stranger: check inventory
You: You are carrying a large blanket, a can of deodorant, a small penguin and some peanuts.
Stranger: Spray the deoderant into the bears face
You: You whip out the can of deodorant and blast the bear in the face. It achieves little other than to further irritate the already irate bear.
You: You are falling though the air, A furious, terrified, musk-scented bear is clinging to your leg.
Stranger: attempt to use the blanket as a makeshift parachute while attempting to remove the bear by kicking its paw
You: The blanket catches the breeze and slows your descent. You struggle, in vain, to dislodge the furious, terrified, musk-scented bear from your leg. Suddenly, a gust of wind catches your makeshift parachute and blows you towards a branch that is jutting out conveniently from the nearby cliff. You find yourself hanging by the leg from the branch. It occurs to you that if the bear lets go of itâ€™s grip on your leg, you will fall. From the expression on the bear’s face, you suspect it has reached the same conclusion.
Stranger: fashion a lasoo from the blanket and attempt to lasoo the bear
You: You twist the blanket into a thick rope, and then twist the rope into a neat lassoo. You spin the lassoo and, as luck would have it, manage to snare the bear around the neck. This is fortunate because the bear suddenly loses it’s grip on your foot. It manages to grab the branch in its other paw, though. You are now swinging from a lassoo which is attached to a bear which is haning from a small bracnch that juts out from the cliff. With a sinking feeling, you hear the wood in the branch start to creak under the weight of the bear and you.
Stranger: estimate the distance from the ground
You: You decide to ignore all conventional wisdom – you look down. You discover that conventional wisdom is not all it’s cracked to be, because ignoring it has enabled you to discover that the ground is, in fact, only about two metres down. The bear, meanwhile, is yet to realise this.
Stranger: Let Go of the lasso and drop to the ground
You: You take a deep breath, and then release your grip on the lassoo. With a thump, you land on the ground below. You do not appear to have broken anything. To the east, you notice a phone booth.
Stranger: Run east towards the phone booth
You: You dash towards the phone booth. Hearing the groans of the tired, musk-scented bear in the distance behind you, you decide to enter the phone booth, Looking around, you see a grimy telephone with a change return slot.
Stranger: Check the return change slot for change
You: With trepidation, knowing that there could be just about ANYTHING inside, you slide your fingers into the change return slot. You are relieved to discover that it contains one dollar. You are less relieved to see the tired, musk-scented bear approaching from the direction of the cliff.
Stranger: Throw the small penguin out of the phone booth as a distraction, insert the dollar into the coin slot and attempt to call the police
You: You toss the penguin out of the booth, towards the bear. It is a special, trained penguin. It starts dancing. While the bear gazes in astonishment at this absurd distraction, you swiftly dial the emergency services. They inform you that a helicopter is on its way.
You: Tired, the penguin stops dancing. The tired, musk-scented bear’s attention returns to you.
Stranger: Throw Peanuts at the penguin while running away from the bear
You: With great delight, the penguin nibbles on the peanuts. Refreshed, it begins dancing again. The tired, overwhelmed, musk-scented bear looks from the penguin, to your rapidly retreating figure, to it’s collection of assorted bruises and injuries, and back to the penguin. It has had a very long day. Resignedly, it lies down to enjoy the penguin’s entertainment.
You: It’s not long before you hear the whirring of the approaching helicopter. It whisks you away to safety. The bear and the penguin become quite good friends, and to this day enjoy reminiscing about the day they met.
You: Congratulations, you have finished the game. You scored 100 out of a possible 100.
Stranger: Celebrate by partying with friends and helicopter pilot
You: :) Thanks for playing
Stranger: Thanks alot
Stranger: that was awesome fun
You: Best convo ever! :D
Stranger: By far
Stranger: I gtg
Stranger: talk 2 u l8r
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Submitted by Bec from Australia