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Archive for April, 2010

Tarzan and Jane

April 29th, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: HEY
You: me jane
You: you tarzan?
Stranger: lol
You: plz be tarzan
Stranger: yea
You: ok tarzan, may I sample the bananas
Stranger: ok
You: *grabs large yellow phallus*
Stranger: fuck you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Jane from Ecuador

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (45 votes, score: 3.96)
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Monkey Succubus

April 29th, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I love you human
Stranger: HAI
Stranger: SAM TO U ?
You: SAM TO ME
Stranger: HEY U R FROM ?
You: SAM SAM EVERYWHERE TO EVERYOHNE
Stranger: iam from india
You: SAMASMASMAMSAMSMASMASMASMAMSA ASMASASASAMSAMSMASMAMAMSMAMSAMSMASMAMSMA
You: I come also from india
You: from bangalor
Stranger: iam from andhra
You: I am also from andhra
You: did you see what happened in the centre today with the monkies
Stranger: waht ?
You: some kind of monkey succubus transported young demonspawn in monkey style shirt?!
Stranger: ok bye !
You: :(
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Feline from India

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (29 votes, score: 3.03)
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Dentures

April 28th, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hello!
Stranger: asl?
You: 19 F USA
Stranger: 18 m florida
You: Cool.
Stranger: ur horny
Stranger: ?
You: Hehehe… Want to trade pics?
Stranger: dont have one
Stranger: u have any you want to show me
You: Yeah. ;)
Stranger: send them to me
You: tinyurl.com/ylg5r6r
Stranger: describe urself
You: ? Can’t you just look at the pic?
Stranger: cant on my iphone
You: Oh. :(
You: Well I’m about 5’5″ with short blonde hair
Stranger: u a virgen
You: Nope. I’ve been around the block.
Stranger: dam wanna suck me up
You: Sure. Just let me take out my dentures.
Stranger: what the fuck
You: K ready. Hope you don’t mind the smell of Bengay.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Lissa from USA

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (84 votes, score: 4.57)
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I Am Fond of Rodents

April 28th, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: OHAI
You: stroke my chinchilla! o.0
Stranger: Shells?
Stranger: YES
Stranger: *stroke*
You: bolly! we’ve got a live one!
You: good show
Stranger: I am fond of rodents
You: rodents?! by josephines beard, chinchilla like you!
Stranger: YES
Stranger: YES THEY DO
You: wunderbar! lamentations for the armadillo…
Stranger: Oh quite
Stranger: indood
Stranger: Tea?
You: by, jug-of-a-naught! yes please!
Stranger: Lady grey?
You: any little boy blue, perchance?
Stranger: Nay….
Stranger: Only green ones
Stranger: And oolong ones
Stranger: Twinings
Stranger: Deadlynightshade in yours?
You: by the goblins of christ…what to choose !
Stranger: I know…
Stranger: It’s terrible
You: and, thus, did i even want tea? the drink of a thousand uses…
Stranger: Perhaps
Stranger: We should remanis over a fire
Stranger: * reminisce
You: reminisce of the days of Yore?
Stranger: Perhaps…
Stranger: In a feild of GLASS
Stranger: So much glass…
Stranger: They ate it all….
Stranger: OH SUCH WOE
You: ate it all? but what of the gollywog??
Stranger: The sharply dressed african gentlemen?
Stranger: Ah them….
Stranger: The became trees
Stranger: And some of god’s tears
Stranger: And form these tears, one bean was formed
You: ahh, a worthy fate for those letitious folk, to be sure…
Stranger: Indood
Stranger: Ah, the beatles cometh
Stranger: They come swooning in their attaire
You: did the lofty fellows partake, or insinuate that they would be at ease with the mobgnome?
Stranger: nay nay, twas the peakock who did labour
You: cock-of-the-pea..i might have known! The craftily delcious blaggard..
Stranger: I know, twas so arduous to watch him feast after his labourious career overcame his need to sleep
You: YES! the effervescent personality enabled him to bear down on those who would slay the dream of my chinchillas’ nostril hair.
Stranger: Oh but the intercourse…….
You: To what end does the intercourse lead? the descent into frivolous activity would lead too many astray
Stranger: Ah but of course, we did develop such a nefarious scheme in order to counteract this most perplexing catastrophe, though we appear to have misplaced it
Stranger: It may be located in the lavatory
You: Or, perchance, did we neglect it’s nature for the far more notorious ability of listening but not reading the signpost in the field of glass?
Stranger: That may be the very evidence we have overlooked!
Stranger: Anywhoo
You: Indeed good sir/madam/ethereal being
Stranger: I suggest we terminate this incriminatingly complex verbal intercourse before my prefronteral cortex doth implode up on the poop deck
You: BOLLYTOKEN! I will have to concede to your wish, as you are one with the chinchilla, and he doth bid you a good life.
Stranger: That he did, gooday to you wonderbus
Stranger: ( I fear for our sanity)
You: Our day is yet to show it’s facial extremities
You: (as do I, fear and miss it dearly)
Stranger: (don’t we all?)
Stranger: Goodbye, acquaintance of mine, and that of the chinchilla’s
You: (May it one day return to my grasping fingers, and we shall hunt the armadillo, in the field of glass, among the Gollywog and his lucrative kin.) : )
You: If we meet again, may it be under a more succinct and less arduous scene
You: By the by, Lady grey will be perfection : )
Stranger: I shall pray for this momentous foretelling
Stranger: Good day
You: And pray shall I, with my ears betwixt my kneecaps
You: Good day/night/eternal bliss
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Brad from England

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (49 votes, score: 4.06)
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Photography Project

April 28th, 2010
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: My name is Leila and I’m working on an photography art project for college, a large photo that uses a composition of multiple tiny images… and I’m making it out of random Omegle guy’s penises. Would you like to contribute yours? I have 90 and I need about 5 more. You don’t have to show your face, just a photo of your penis. Can you please help?
You: shuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure
Stranger: Is that a yes?
You: well… if it helps sience…
You: what kind of project is it?
Stranger: It’s a photography composition project.
You: for college?
Stranger: Yes
You: why???
Stranger: Why what?
You: the fuck why do you want to do it?
Stranger: Because I’m a photography major, and it’s for a grade?
You: Of fucking penises?
Stranger: It’s just an idea I had, a way to get random stranger pictures… and most guys on here want to show me their dicks anyhow
Stranger: May as well collect them for a grade!
You: hey, you get 2 pics if you tell me what for god fuckingfucks sake you want to do it of OTHER PEOPLES DICKS?
You: does it have a special meaning? is your prof gay? r u high?
Stranger: It’s part of the overall impression of the photo. I’m turning them into a theme of meeting strangers, it’ll be a photo of two people meeting in the park.
You: 2 pics!
Stranger: And you won’t be able to tell what the tiny photos are individually, they’ll be so small. It’s just coloration and lighing
You: dont you think it is a little profane and devoid of meaning?
Stranger: No?
You: why on earth not
Stranger: Because it isn’t.
Stranger: Look, if you don’t want to contribute, that’s fine… I thank you for your time :)
You: nono gimme your mail
Stranger: sugarleila@gmail.com
You: i want to definately talk to you sometime
Stranger: :)
You: ok, here it is, 3 pics if you tell me what justifies its profanity and emptines
You: you wanna criticise modern society pal?
Stranger: I don’t see the profanity and emptiness. It’s just an expression of sexuality that happens when you first meet a stranger, it’s all about first impression… do they look right, do they “do” it for you, etc.
You: its offending because its putting things in a light they are entierly not
Stranger: Photography is all about putting things in different light. :)
You: ah i dont mean that.
Stranger: Right, I know what you meant. :)
You: you offend people if you try to tell them things that are absolutely not the way you think, because you didnt spend enough time thinkering
You: ya know whatt i mean?
Stranger: Photography isn’t meant to offend, though.
Stranger: And neither is my photo.
You: IT WILL
Stranger: How
You: as i said. you try to over dramatize social phenomena which are of no real importance. it annois people.
Stranger: Well, everyone has different opinions of art and photography. Some see sadness, and others get offended. That’s jut the nature of art.
You: what??? its called …
You: let me look it up-…
Stranger: Hm?
Stranger: What is what called?
You: you know something that is kind of on the edge of “beauty” and the stuff that offends you. like doing paintings with your feces
You: you know what that guy did once
Stranger: Yes
You: you cant justify that stuff without having something realyreally important to say
You: if you ask me, this idea didnt come to your mind in more than a minute. not that its bad, but it floats into getting the viewer offended
Stranger: :(
You: and most of the people liking it are just art victims if you ask me
You: you know what i mean?
Stranger: Well I’m sorry my project isn’t up to your standards.
You: its not about that.
You: these are general standards not just those of me
Stranger: Look, are you able to contribute or not? If not, I need to go cause I have to find five more people who will.
You: ok but you couldnt defend your point
Stranger: My point is perfectly fine, you’re just subscribing higher standards onto it than it deserves
You: maybe because you didnt have one. or you did and i wasnt worth it
You: YOU GO TO COLLEGE!
Stranger: Yes, but I’m not making a gallery to showcase around Canada.
Stranger: It’s for a grade.
Stranger: Not to sell
You: i do as well. your project sounds fishi. my profs would look at me like some idiot if i would do
Stranger: Fine, whatever, send me one don’t send me one I don’t care. I’m just wasting my time with you.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Said from USA

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (45 votes, score: 3.33)
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