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Archive for August, 2009

Might Have Been a Woman From The Future Douchebag

August 24th, 2009
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A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: Hi, are u a girl with webcam :)?
You: I am a time traveler
You: I came from the future
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by The Duck from Sweden

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (30 votes, score: 3.43)
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Random Furrie

August 24th, 2009
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: do you like hairy buttholes?
Stranger: Furries ftw. <3 :D Are you? :D
Stranger: Yes
Stranger: :D
You: I am wearing a rodent costume right now
Stranger: I’d tap that.
You: hell yeah
Stranger: So you’re gay too?
You: what kind of costume makes you hot
Stranger: Foxes/Wolves
Stranger: :D
You: cool :)
Stranger: Furvert.
Stranger: GTFO.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Hans from Germany

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (21 votes, score: 3.57)
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Lost

August 24th, 2009
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: my name is John Locke, and I am responsible for the well-being of this Island
You: but John
You: we need the medicine now
Stranger: I think Juliet can help you with that
You: I would not hold my breath, she has been missing for several days
Stranger: what about the Doctor?
Stranger: Jack?
You: Jack is keeping to himself mostly, I have not been able to establish a good enough connection for him to give me drugs for recreational use
You: I am considering cutting this wine here and eating it boiled
You: I think it resembles ayahuasca
You: but who knows, maybe it’s poisonous
Stranger: I bet if you asked Sawyer, he could help you out
Stranger: but I think that he’s a little sad about what happened with Juliet
Stranger: things are strange on the Island these days
You: I bet he is the one responsible somehow
You: yes, and I aim to make them even more strange with some DMT in my system
Stranger: I remember dying…is that normal?
You: It could be
You: maybe this is all an illusion
Stranger: you never know
You: manifested by our collective consciousness
Stranger: I hope I can get my people back safely
Stranger: I know that we were put here for a reason
Stranger: but i am starting to doubt that
You: dont get in to deep though John
You: the island have taken stronger men
Stranger: do you think it was a good idea to have killed Jacob?
You: it was one of those things that just had to be done
You: he will be back
You: like he always is
Stranger: what’s going to happen now?
You: I think we should just sit back and let the island deal with it
You: maybe smoke some of the plants that grow here and see where that takes us
Stranger: I tried that and it made me see Boone
Stranger: the Island makes us see things…
Stranger: I don’t know what to make out of it though
You: maybe we are just watching our subconscious play out like a screenplay in three dimensions right in front of our eyes
Stranger: but I can feel it
You: these are things I ponder during this long time we spent here
Stranger: what exactly is “here”
You: touche
You: I am not at liberty to discuss
Stranger: do you know what lies in the shadow of the statue?
You: death
Stranger: Jacob’s death…
Stranger: do you think I should have believed Ben when he said that he was part of the good guys?
You: it’s hard to tell at this point
You: it has just spun out of control
You: and reason
You: John, I must leave you. There are more important things to tend to
Stranger: please don’t go yet
You: there is not much time left
Stranger: what if I need to find you again?
You: we must spend it wisely
You: I will be watching, do not worry
Stranger: is there some kind of button I can push to find you?
You: I am you, all you need to do is search within
Stranger: thank you, friend
You have disconnected.

Submitted by Jonesy from United Kingdom

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (24 votes, score: 4.42)
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The Fortune Teller

August 24th, 2009
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: if you disconnect you will find the woman of your dreams today
Stranger: are you a fortune teller?
You: yes
Stranger: can you tell me my fortune?
You: sure
You: ask me a question and I shall answer thee
Stranger: how are things going to go this semester for me?
You: you will discover that you find great joy in keeping birds up to the point of other people looking at you funny
Stranger: hmmm
Stranger: i’ve sensed something like this deep down in my loins
Stranger: what about with the ladies?
You: the loins never lie
Stranger: how will i do?
You: you will attempt to impregnate several female cockatoos
Stranger: of course
Stranger: business as usual
You: is there anything else you wish to know about your future, it is crystal clear for me now
Stranger: will my wiener get any larger?
You: it will grow inwards
Stranger: shit
You: sorry
Stranger: it’s okay, you’re just the messenger
Stranger: alright
Stranger: time to go
Stranger: thank you for your wisdom
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by Arak from Greece

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (30 votes, score: 4.30)
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A No-brainer

August 15th, 2009
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You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: “asl” is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: if you disconnect you will find the woman of your dreams today
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Submitted by The Duck from Sweden

Author: Categories: Conversations
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (19 votes, score: 3.05)
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